Triggers and anxiety is getting to me

[Candy]

This is Candy
I have not done SI for three days now,and I am proud of myself so far,but I know that I am having a rough time not doing it,mainly when I can not deal with the emotional pain and it is getting hard right now. My friends are pulling away from me,and one is always saying nasty things to me. My boy-friend is being very supportive,my parents are not. It is hard to deal with my mental illness which is Borderline Personality Disorder and my doctor put me on a new medication called Abilify,if I spelled that right,so far it is helping,but I get so anxious and that is when I feel like SI. I am feeling that way right now, I want to do SI,but I am trying to fight the feeling,I want to write in my journal, but I can not sit still.So I decided to post on the Bus,cause I know that I will get supportive and people will understand what I am going through. I hate feeling this way and it scares me,cause I feel like I am going out of control. I never know what brought these feelings on and it is hard for me to figure out what the triggers are. I am going to do something to pass this moment,but it feels like forever. I am hanging in there and doing the best I can. If anyone wants to Pm me,I am here.Sunny days will be here again.

[Licentia Poetica]

Hi Candy

I think it's great that you're trying so hard to stop SI'ing. Even just trying shows you're wiling to get control over it, instead of IT controlling YOU.

I know you write in your journal, but perhaps you need to find some other ways to distract yourself, something that you can do with your hands. Or perhaps create a safe space for yourself, perhaps somewhere in your garden with a few things to do where you can go and stay for a while knowing you wont SI there.

I know you feel scared. It is scary. But you're doing great & you're trying really hard so I think you will get there. Well done also for saying that there will always be more positive days, it's true, but often it's hard to see that when you're in a bad space.

[septemberstorm11]

Hey, I know how you feel, but wanting to stop SI is a good thing, a very good thing. I'm on abilify too, it can make you very anxious, perhaps ask for an anti anxiety med? It might help.

I'm here if you need to talk.

take care

[Candy]

This is candy,
I know that it is a good thing to stop SI,but somedays it gets very hard for me, and I notice that with Abilfiy that I have trouble sleeping sometimes,do you have that problem,my doctor has me on Clonipion,if I spell that right'plus other drugs. There are times that I want to do SI,and try to fight it,but it is not that easy. I am trying to find somethings to do to keep my hands busy,I am not good at crafts or painting, and the problem is that my mind wonders back to do SI,and then it gets so hard for me.I am always here for you as well. You are weclome to Pm me anytime,and I will do the same. It has been 5 days now since I done any SI,and I was wondering where I get the week ticket that you can carry with you,that comes out a little bigger,I hope you know what I am talking about.Thank-you very much for your posts and they have been very supportive. Hanging in there one day at a time. Hope to hear from you soon.