Before

[Callisto]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

In all honesty the situation won't change but the feeling of anxiety and vulnerability inside me might be released and go away.


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will bring release....but it will leave me with guilt, scars and regret.


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? #

In the long run I want to be able to deal with my anxiety and feelings of vulnerability safely and without hurting myself. In the long run I want these feelings to not be a problem. Hurting myself won't achieve that it will just make me feel bad about myself.


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

At least a couple of hours, but most probably until something else happens to set off these feelings. If I choose to SI now, I know I will probably fall back on it in the future.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

Distract myself, work through my feelings of anxiety in my journal. It will make me less obsessive about those feelings and working through them will help me find a release. That will last longer because it won't have negative consequences and when I have done that I will calm down again.


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

If I hurt myself I will feel bad and ashamed and angry at myself. If I do my other suggestion I will feel better as I will know I worked through things.


what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

Part of me really wants to cut, but really I think part of me just wants these feelings inside to go away and to have someone I love and who loves me hold me and tell me that I'm a good person and worth something. I can best honour this instinct by doing things to help myself feel worthwhile.

[microsue]

Hi.
Sounds like you gave well-thought-out, responsible answers to the questions.
I don't know you at this point, but I can offer perhaps a piece of humanity to this moment: I don't know if you have someone who loves you, but you probably do. Even if not, there are people who care, such as other bussers. In that vein, I offer this: . A bit silly, perhaps, but well-meant.
Best of wishes.
microsue

[Callisto]

Thank you microsue...and not silly at all, I think its sweet actually.

And yeah I do have someone who loves me, and I hope he always will.