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microsue · Post by **microsue** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 11:52 pm

before questions

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 3:43 pm

Hi Sue.

Have you seen the scarily vast list or coping strategies on the coping forum? If you haven't, there are some good suggestions there.

You said that you want to show your therapist how much talking about betrayal and abuse hurt.
-What other ways could you tell him that?
-What could possibly make the conversation easier for you (eg would you like to take the conversation more slowly, discuss it for only a half of a session,etc.)
-What healthy things can you do to relax after your sessions?
-Do you think that talking about abuse is something you should do?

I hope you are doing okay. Take care.

microsue · Post by **microsue** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 5:59 pm

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 9:25 pm

Telling your therapist straight out is a big move. So well done.

It sounds like you are doing a good job of communicating what you are feeling and coming up with ways of making this easier on yourself.

It sounds like you've been through a lot of very difficult stuff. I am glad that you are talking about it. Be gentle with yourself.

microsue · Post by **microsue** » Sun Aug 06, 2006 9:40 pm

erased

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:31 am

Can you elaborate on that? Why do you feel you deserve whatever happens?

microsue · Post by **microsue** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 12:56 am

erased

syn · Post by **syn** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 1:30 am

You were venting your anger, which is something you're allowed to do, and did not know that it was going to be sent. We all have intense feelings towards others that we need to feel human, but don't intend to share because they might hurt someone.

Writing the letter was completely natural and healthy, and you didn't know what the outcome was going to be (it being sent).

I know it's hard when there are so many intense feelings and situations around you but try to kee perspective on things. This was not something you did.

microsue · Post by **microsue** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 1:39 am

erased

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Mon Aug 07, 2006 2:24 am

Hi Sue.

I agree with Syrinx. You did not know that the letter would be sent. I am VERY upset that a therapist would do that to someone. It was highly unethical for her to send the letter.

You are however entitled to your feelings. What ever you feel about your relationship with your father is valid. There is nothing wrong with having very intense feelings about the abuse. I think you had a right to bring up the past with him or not to, and to do so on your own terms. It is very unfair that your therapist took away your opportunity to make that decision.

I am really sorry your father was hurt, but it is not your fault. Having strong feelings and expressing them in what is supposed to be a safe, confidential environment is a perfectly acceptable and healthy thing to do. It was your therapist who decided that your father should receive the letter, not you. You do not deserve to suffer ill consequences as a result. You shouldn't pay for someone else's poor judgement.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 2:35 am

Hi Sue.

What's up? How are you doing?

microsue · Post by **microsue** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 5:17 am

still desperately struggling.

there's a chance i may not be able to get transportation to see Karl tomorrow. my stomach is all scrunched up and i can't eat. and i might have to go off my meds. none of whidh would please Karl--or me.
i called Karl around 4 pm and left a slightly hysterical message asking him to call me back.

it's now 10:15 pm and he hasn't called yet. i haven't figured out when he goes to bed, but i know he's an early riser.

i think i'm going to have to have him emergency paged again.

i'll be back, i fear. sorry!

microsue

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 5:24 am

Hi Sue,

I hope Karl calls you back soon.

Things are pretty hectic for me right now, so I need some time before I can respond properly. (I'll PM you soon too.)

Stay safe and take gentle care.

b

microsue · Post by **microsue** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 7:34 pm

hi all,
i want to apologize to everyone for overreacting to something a moderator said about posting too much about myself on felo. i went back and erased most of my posts here and on felo. i'm sorry.

Karl called back, but we didn't talk long at all because he was going to bed. (told me to go to bed, too.) basically just said hang on till our session.
i did get to see him this am, however, for our usual session. we talked lots about the letter. right now i'm feeling a touch better. don't know how i'll feel when evening/night roll around, since they're my bad times. we didn't have time to finish talking about it. Karl wants me to think about the things he said today and hang on till Friday (our next session).

microsue

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Wed Aug 09, 2006 3:52 am

Hi Sue.
It's okay, that happens from time to time. The important thing is you've realized it and taken stepts to make it better.

I'm glad that you got to see Karl this morning and that you are feeling a bit better.

It is good that you know that nights are your bad times, you can plan ahead for them. (Nights are hard for me too, so I try to read a book and get to bed early whenever possible.)

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