Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
April
building community
building community
Posts: 686
Joined: Wed May 24, 2006 11:11 pm
Location: Manchester, UK Age: 23

Post by April » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:24 am

You've gone. This morning you left. And you left just one fucking sentence written on the back of a letter.
My place -
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... 46#3134946

*HUGS AND PMS ALWAYS WELCOME*

User avatar
Lynds
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 425
Joined: Thu May 18, 2006 6:19 pm
Location: Sussex, England

Post by Lynds » Wed Jul 12, 2006 8:43 pm

Every time you tell me to 'chin up' 'cheer up' or 'keep smiling' I want to kick your fucking head in. When that's the last thing you say to me on the phone I usually go quiet and it's cos I'm crying.

User avatar
Emma Wallace
spiffy maximus
spiffy maximus
Posts: 4164
Joined: Sun Feb 12, 2006 10:47 pm
Location: Canada

Post by Emma Wallace » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:14 pm

I don't believe that anyone thinks about me when I'm not around, but I can't ask because they'll tell me the lie I want to hear.

User avatar
Wandering
town councillor
town councillor
Posts: 1373
Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2003 9:08 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Highlands of Scotland
Contact:

Post by Wandering » Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:15 am

~pms ok~

I looked at my arm this morning and I know its just gonna be a matter of time before my parents catch me. I just want to hide away. I'm so scared about what'll happen when they realise I'm still SIing :cry:
Perhaps one day this too will be pleasant to remember
Visitors welcome!!! : My Place

User avatar
DecemberLivy
just plain inspiring
just plain inspiring
Posts: 7474
Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:38 am
Location: London

Post by DecemberLivy » Fri Jul 14, 2006 5:07 pm

when H is hugging me, and we're really close, i just want to kiss him so badly. everyone thinks i'm this girl with incredible self control and respect for herself. thats total b*llocks.
everyone thinks i hate him, i dont, i want him. so so badly.
he's teasing me, and i hate it. makes me want to kick his face in
<center>my walpole cafe

"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>

I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.

User avatar
Seeshellz
my other car is a bus
my other car is a bus
Posts: 34295
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 1:51 am
Location: Hiding in my shell...

Post by Seeshellz » Sat Jul 15, 2006 12:57 am

PMs OK

SI....



I feel like once I get my One Year SI free, I will start cutting again, I am so afraid this will happen.
"If you learn from your suffering,

and really come to understand the lesson you were taught,

you might be able to help someone else who's now

in the phase you may have just completed.

Maybe that's what it's all about after all..."

Anonymous

User avatar
SarahBee
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 329
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2006 9:15 pm
Location: England

Post by SarahBee » Sat Jul 15, 2006 9:55 pm

Pms fine.

I worry that one day I'll snap and really hurt someone
I don't know how to tell them I'll miss them more than anything when they leave.
I don't know how to tell them that even though we only met a few weeks ago, they mean so much to me and I don't want them to go.
I'm scared that I'll never find someone that I can say I know loves me, and not doubt it, even a tiny bit.
I worry that the more I stay silent, the worse it will get, and nothing will ever be fixed.
<center>"You were
water to me
deep and bold and fathoming....
You were
sunrise to me
rise and warm and streaming....
<b>Go to your wide futures, you said.</b>"

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."


<b><a href="http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=122444"> My Place!</a></b>

User avatar
Lynds
meeting the neighbors
meeting the neighbors
Posts: 425
Joined: Thu May 18, 2006 6:19 pm
Location: Sussex, England

Post by Lynds » Sun Jul 16, 2006 9:01 pm

*SI* (edited to put in trig)








...I haven't cut for 23 days...



...I've done other stuff instead though...


Funny how you haven't noticed

User avatar
black_23
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 1913
Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:52 pm
Location: Off the map

Post by black_23 » Sun Jul 16, 2006 9:48 pm

I cried when I left you today, I felt so bad I couldn't be there. I miss you all and yet there is no longer a place for me.
I nearly made myself sick the other night, I stood there and nearly did it after nearly 2years of not doing it.
I hate what I did the other night at the club, yeah it was fun, but it felt cheap and dirty to me even though you smiled and enjoyed.
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso

'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath


My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459

My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307

User avatar
beautiful_facade
awe-inspiring
awe-inspiring
Posts: 6342
Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2003 12:24 am
Location: getting closer to the light at the end of the tunnel

Post by beautiful_facade » Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:39 am

*PMs more than welcome*
i hate how you all think i'm okay
My si is 'bad' enough for minor ops this week - i had 'minor' surgery and you don't even know
My eating is all over the place
My drinking is so out of hand i'm scared
i'm suicidal in a pathetic too scared to do it way
No-one notices
i'm so alone
<center>The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes.
Proust

<a href="http://www.punkymoods.com" title="Punkymoods (Unkymoods redux): Showcase your current mood"><img src="http://www.punkymoods.com/mood.php?userid=2390" alt="My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)" border="0"></a>

Image

If I bore you, that is that. If I am clumsy, that may indicate partly the difficulty of my subject, and the seriousness with which I am trying to take what hold I can of it; more certainly, it will indicate my youth, my lack of mastery of my so-called art or craft, my lack perhaps of talent…
A piece of the body torn out by the roots might be more to the point.
James Agee.

User avatar
fortune
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1835
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 11:59 am
Location: in my head - at the end of the path between the shrubberies...

Post by fortune » Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:56 am

you used to care about how i felt, we used to be close... we spent an hour on the phone and you didn't even notice that i didn't answer when you asked how i was... because i'm not good

su



my sister made me cry by telling me that i'll feel better when i make the decision to be better - i was crying because i think it would be easier to su and i feel so alone... i felt like saying: no i won't go watch the sunset - i'd rather die.... no, really.
Image

User avatar
last_day
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1795
Joined: Wed May 31, 2006 6:09 am
Location: it's sunny
Contact:

Post by last_day » Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:18 am

--I'm not quite ok. I don't think I can tell you, because you'd blame it on yourself. I wish I could trust you.

--I almost wish I didn't love you. Why can't you be perfect?




****SI****



--I've cut twice...small cuts, but cuts all the same. I'm lying to myself and to everyone else when I say I've been SI-free for a month and two weeks. And, the truth is, that I wish I could just slash my wrists and let them bleed. I want to see/taste/feel my blood so bad.

****END SI****


--I'm not happy because that's not who I am. I don't talk because you don't listen. Everytime I appear happy, it's a BIG LIE. I'm faking it and I wish you would find that out, but I can't tell you.

--I don't see eye-to-eye with you, but I feel bad arguing.

--I don't think I miss you, even though I love you. I'm lying...I just miss your hugs, your warmth, your touch... not your personality. Even if you were here, I'm not sure it'd work out.

--I almost want to leave you, but I don't want to hurt you. I care about you so much, but this isn't working. I'm walking on eggshells and I don't how to work this out.

--I DON'T TRUST YOU!! I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOU!! PLEASE REALIZE THIS.


:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
The lightning and the thunder
They go and they come
But the stars and the stillness
Are always at home.

<a href="http://www.fastweb.com/ib/aff-1f/6NP98A4H90UNCJF" title="FastWeb: Scholarships, Financial Aid and Colleges" target="blank"><img></a>

User avatar
marshmallowfluff
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 16914
Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:52 pm
Gender: Female
Location: South Yorkshire, UK Age: 26

Post by marshmallowfluff » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:58 pm

od


:star: sometimes i wish that the OD had worked, then other times i don't. I know that really i am glad that it didnt work because deep down i like being alive, and it seems so selfish that i ODed in the first place but sometimes, like today, i wish it had worked and i wasn't here right now -- its too hard. i cant do it.


end

:star: i HATE you. I have to walk round town with you and plaster a fake smile on my face and look like i'm enjoying spending time with you, when you really do my head in.

:star: I think i forgive you, but i dont know. Sometimes i hate you so much i want you dead, but other times i can see why you did it and when i feel like that, i can forgive you for doing that. I'm just sorry i cant forget it ever happened.

:star: i miss you, but i dont want to admit it to anyone.

si


:star: i still si sometimes even though you think i've stopped. I wish i *could* stop but i dont know how else to be able to cope.

end

:star: i want to tell you what happened in the hope that you will be able to help without my parents knowing. you gave me the leaflet for the counselling center without me even telling you anything.

:star: I wish i could hate you. But when i see you at school i dont feel hate. I know you hate me so so so much and that bothers me -- i dont like to be hated by people and i know how much you do actually hate me -- i wish the feeling was mutual.


PMs welcome


*edited for ridiculous typos :roll:*
Last edited by marshmallowfluff on Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Image
"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."

User avatar
April
building community
building community
Posts: 686
Joined: Wed May 24, 2006 11:11 pm
Location: Manchester, UK Age: 23

Post by April » Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:50 pm

*PMS okay*


:star: I'm drunk. It feels bloody good.

:star: I think I just finally broke. I feel...quite calm about it.
My place -
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... 46#3134946

*HUGS AND PMS ALWAYS WELCOME*

User avatar
marshmallowfluff
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 16914
Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:52 pm
Gender: Female
Location: South Yorkshire, UK Age: 26

Post by marshmallowfluff » Thu Jul 20, 2006 10:14 pm

si, ed


I cant wait til the weekend. I have the house to myself for two days. That means i dont have to be forced to eat, and i can uhrt myself as much as i want without you knowing or asking questions.


end


pms ok
Image
"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."

User avatar
ComfortablyNumb
part of the fixtures
part of the fixtures
Posts: 2571
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2003 1:16 pm
Location: Wisconsin

Post by ComfortablyNumb » Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:35 am

I think this would have all been easier if at the end of the conversation she hated me...

:grystar:
<center> "You said I remind you of yourself tomorrow."
- Kurt Cobain

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."
-Catcher in the Rye

Image

my place </center>

User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Fri Jul 21, 2006 8:26 pm

The fact that this might be the end for us is killing me, but in my heart I know that I love you so much that I may have to let you go for you to be happy. I just wish it didn't have to happen this way because I love you so damn much.

In the end I know I'll let you go if its for the best, but part of me will always hope that we'll be together again.

User avatar
Callisto
postmaster
postmaster
Posts: 37888
Joined: Sun May 04, 2003 3:22 pm

Post by Callisto » Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:29 pm

Secretly I'm glad we decided to stop being boyfriend and girlfriend for now, because neither of us was handling it well.

Being friends is better right now and makes me much happier. I'll always be your friend and I hope you'll always be mine.

User avatar
black_23
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 1913
Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:52 pm
Location: Off the map

Post by black_23 » Sun Jul 23, 2006 9:06 pm

I saw you last night, you held my hand when I was sad and together we could do it. I know your not real but I dont care, with you I feel safe and get that little bit of light back inside
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso

'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath


My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459

My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307

User avatar
Catylyx
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1682
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:23 am
Location: Finally in a place that i feel alive.
Contact:

Post by Catylyx » Mon Jul 24, 2006 1:31 am

* i have to lie about D. I have to pretend that i don't still love him with every last breath of my soul.

* My mom looks at me with disgust any time D is ever mentioned. It kills me to know that she hates him so badly that she would rip me out of his life because of it.
(and she doesn't realize that it kills me inside when it happens)
<i>I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
Image
Image
** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 193 guests