Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

April · Post by **April** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:24 am

You've gone. This morning you left. And you left just one fucking sentence written on the back of a letter.

Lynds · Post by **Lynds** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 8:43 pm

Every time you tell me to 'chin up' 'cheer up' or 'keep smiling' I want to kick your fucking head in. When that's the last thing you say to me on the phone I usually go quiet and it's cos I'm crying.

Emma Wallace · Post by **Emma Wallace** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:14 pm

I don't believe that anyone thinks about me when I'm not around, but I can't ask because they'll tell me the lie I want to hear.

Wandering · Post by **Wandering** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:15 am

~pms ok~

I looked at my arm this morning and I know its just gonna be a matter of time before my parents catch me. I just want to hide away. I'm so scared about what'll happen when they realise I'm still SIing

DecemberLivy · Post by **DecemberLivy** » Fri Jul 14, 2006 5:07 pm

when H is hugging me, and we're really close, i just want to kiss him so badly. everyone thinks i'm this girl with incredible self control and respect for herself. thats total b*llocks.
everyone thinks i hate him, i dont, i want him. so so badly.
he's teasing me, and i hate it. makes me want to kick his face in

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 12:57 am

PMs OK

SI....

I feel like once I get my One Year SI free, I will start cutting again, I am so afraid this will happen.

SarahBee · Post by **SarahBee** » Sat Jul 15, 2006 9:55 pm

Pms fine.

I worry that one day I'll snap and really hurt someone
I don't know how to tell them I'll miss them more than anything when they leave.
I don't know how to tell them that even though we only met a few weeks ago, they mean so much to me and I don't want them to go.
I'm scared that I'll never find someone that I can say I know loves me, and not doubt it, even a tiny bit.
I worry that the more I stay silent, the worse it will get, and nothing will ever be fixed.

Lynds · Post by **Lynds** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 9:01 pm

*SI* (edited to put in trig)

...I haven't cut for 23 days...

...I've done other stuff instead though...

Funny how you haven't noticed

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Sun Jul 16, 2006 9:48 pm

I cried when I left you today, I felt so bad I couldn't be there. I miss you all and yet there is no longer a place for me.
I nearly made myself sick the other night, I stood there and nearly did it after nearly 2years of not doing it.
I hate what I did the other night at the club, yeah it was fun, but it felt cheap and dirty to me even though you smiled and enjoyed.

beautiful_facade · Post by **beautiful_facade** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 1:39 am

*PMs more than welcome*
i hate how you all think i'm okay
My si is 'bad' enough for minor ops this week - i had 'minor' surgery and you don't even know
My eating is all over the place
My drinking is so out of hand i'm scared
i'm suicidal in a pathetic too scared to do it way
No-one notices
i'm so alone

fortune · Post by **fortune** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 8:56 am

you used to care about how i felt, we used to be close... we spent an hour on the phone and you didn't even notice that i didn't answer when you asked how i was... because i'm not good

su

my sister made me cry by telling me that i'll feel better when i make the decision to be better - i was crying because i think it would be easier to su and i feel so alone... i felt like saying: no i won't go watch the sunset - i'd rather die.... no, really.

last_day · Post by **last_day** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 10:18 am

--I'm not quite ok. I don't think I can tell you, because you'd blame it on yourself. I wish I could trust you.

--I almost wish I didn't love you. Why can't you be perfect?

****SI****

--I've cut twice...small cuts, but cuts all the same. I'm lying to myself and to everyone else when I say I've been SI-free for a month and two weeks. And, the truth is, that I wish I could just slash my wrists and let them bleed. I want to see/taste/feel my blood so bad.

****END SI****

--I'm not happy because that's not who I am. I don't talk because you don't listen. Everytime I appear happy, it's a BIG LIE. I'm faking it and I wish you would find that out, but I can't tell you.

--I don't see eye-to-eye with you, but I feel bad arguing.

--I don't think I miss you, even though I love you. I'm lying...I just miss your hugs, your warmth, your touch... not your personality. Even if you were here, I'm not sure it'd work out.

--I almost want to leave you, but I don't want to hurt you. I care about you so much, but this isn't working. I'm walking on eggshells and I don't how to work this out.

--I DON'T TRUST YOU!! I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH YOU!! PLEASE REALIZE THIS.

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 4:58 pm

od

sometimes i wish that the OD had worked, then other times i don't. I know that really i am glad that it didnt work because deep down i like being alive, and it seems so selfish that i ODed in the first place but sometimes, like today, i wish it had worked and i wasn't here right now -- its too hard. i cant do it.

end

i HATE you. I have to walk round town with you and plaster a fake smile on my face and look like i'm enjoying spending time with you, when you really do my head in.

I think i forgive you, but i dont know. Sometimes i hate you so much i want you dead, but other times i can see why you did it and when i feel like that, i can forgive you for doing that. I'm just sorry i cant forget it ever happened.

i miss you, but i dont want to admit it to anyone.

si

i still si sometimes even though you think i've stopped. I wish i *could* stop but i dont know how else to be able to cope.

end

i want to tell you what happened in the hope that you will be able to help without my parents knowing. you gave me the leaflet for the counselling center without me even telling you anything.

I wish i could hate you. But when i see you at school i dont feel hate. I know you hate me so so so much and that bothers me -- i dont like to be hated by people and i know how much you do actually hate me -- i wish the feeling was mutual.

PMs welcome

*edited for ridiculous typos

*

April · Post by **April** » Mon Jul 17, 2006 9:50 pm

*PMS okay*

I'm drunk. It feels bloody good.

I think I just finally broke. I feel...quite calm about it.

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Thu Jul 20, 2006 10:14 pm

si, ed

I cant wait til the weekend. I have the house to myself for two days. That means i dont have to be forced to eat, and i can uhrt myself as much as i want without you knowing or asking questions.

end

pms ok

ComfortablyNumb · Post by **ComfortablyNumb** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:35 am

I think this would have all been easier if at the end of the conversation she hated me...

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Fri Jul 21, 2006 8:26 pm

The fact that this might be the end for us is killing me, but in my heart I know that I love you so much that I may have to let you go for you to be happy. I just wish it didn't have to happen this way because I love you so damn much.

In the end I know I'll let you go if its for the best, but part of me will always hope that we'll be together again.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 7:29 pm

Secretly I'm glad we decided to stop being boyfriend and girlfriend for now, because neither of us was handling it well.

Being friends is better right now and makes me much happier. I'll always be your friend and I hope you'll always be mine.

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Sun Jul 23, 2006 9:06 pm

I saw you last night, you held my hand when I was sad and together we could do it. I know your not real but I dont care, with you I feel safe and get that little bit of light back inside

Catylyx · Post by **Catylyx** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 1:31 am

* i have to lie about D. I have to pretend that i don't still love him with every last breath of my soul.

* My mom looks at me with disgust any time D is ever mentioned. It kills me to know that she hates him so badly that she would rip me out of his life because of it.
(and she doesn't realize that it kills me inside when it happens)

bus

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

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