Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
- Quiet little Angel
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7754
- Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
- Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...
R: i wont call you... if i did i'd just go back to letting you controle me... i need to let you go... i know there was never officially anything with us... but we both know that there was... but there can't be, and i need to stop letting you in! you come in, and disrupt my world of order... then you leave and i feel like i have to make comtact again... but it just can't be anymore!!! stop it!
what if i did call you? what'd happen? nothing is my guess... we'd just go back to the way we were... and what if we lived it out for once??? where would i be? when would you get sick of me?
i know you don't love me... you just love the chase... you only want me because you know you can't! i just have to keep it like that, and then find someone else! then i can let you go... but until then, please give me a reason to hate your guts, that makes it so much easier!
D: i love you, you know that don't you? it's just so tough!
what if i did call you? what'd happen? nothing is my guess... we'd just go back to the way we were... and what if we lived it out for once??? where would i be? when would you get sick of me?
i know you don't love me... you just love the chase... you only want me because you know you can't! i just have to keep it like that, and then find someone else! then i can let you go... but until then, please give me a reason to hate your guts, that makes it so much easier!
D: i love you, you know that don't you? it's just so tough!
/May
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
- dont speak
- spiffy maximus
- Posts: 4476
- Joined: Sat Dec 11, 2004 11:33 pm
- Location: "Over the Hills and Far Away"
youre feeding my addictions. ive always been so much like you and now ill probably end up just like you.
You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love is an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Szeretem a zöld görögdinnyét sok malachússal és némi zöld kecsappal
But life's no story book
Love is an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Szeretem a zöld görögdinnyét sok malachússal és némi zöld kecsappal
- Alone_I_Break
- town councillor
- Posts: 1434
- Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2005 6:30 pm
- Location: hiding from you
- Contact:
***SI***SA***
* Why do you hate me so much? Im your daughter! I never asked you to do those things to me and say those words. You never saw me for who i am and now you have lost me. I will never be your girl. I will never call you daddy i will never let you touch me eer again. You know why! Because im stronger!
* Why do you hate me so much? Im your daughter! I never asked you to do those things to me and say those words. You never saw me for who i am and now you have lost me. I will never be your girl. I will never call you daddy i will never let you touch me eer again. You know why! Because im stronger!
You know how you said you would never hurt me?
This is hurting me god damn it. You're hurting me right now, every second, every day when I know you're hurting. It fucking hurts me too. And it hurts worst than anything else because I love you like nothing else.
You LIED to me, I would have still fucking married you if you had told me the truth, I love you whether you're healthy or your still sick, but lying to me about it folled me into not helping you, I'm mad at you for making me an enabler, you lied so that I would let you get away with your anorexia. I'm not a fucking pawn, I'm not like every other person in your life who lets you get away with whatever you want because you're Sarah and you're beautiful.
Right now you're deceitful and you're lying and you're not just risking your own life, you're risking Hunter's and you have no right to do that. You have no right to just put my entire life and my entire future and everyone I fucking love on this planet in danger. YEs, I'm being selfish, but I love you two too much to just ignore it.
I don't know what to do anymore, because I know that I have to make you believe that you need me more and that I love you more than you will ever need anorexia, it doesn't love you back, it doesn't need you and you sure as fuck don't need it.
please.
This is hurting me god damn it. You're hurting me right now, every second, every day when I know you're hurting. It fucking hurts me too. And it hurts worst than anything else because I love you like nothing else.
You LIED to me, I would have still fucking married you if you had told me the truth, I love you whether you're healthy or your still sick, but lying to me about it folled me into not helping you, I'm mad at you for making me an enabler, you lied so that I would let you get away with your anorexia. I'm not a fucking pawn, I'm not like every other person in your life who lets you get away with whatever you want because you're Sarah and you're beautiful.
Right now you're deceitful and you're lying and you're not just risking your own life, you're risking Hunter's and you have no right to do that. You have no right to just put my entire life and my entire future and everyone I fucking love on this planet in danger. YEs, I'm being selfish, but I love you two too much to just ignore it.
I don't know what to do anymore, because I know that I have to make you believe that you need me more and that I love you more than you will ever need anorexia, it doesn't love you back, it doesn't need you and you sure as fuck don't need it.
please.
Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
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i don't know whether it's me or what but i keep constantly fucking things up and i'm so afraid that i've fucked thinns up between me and you, yeah i got jelous but then i realised that there was no need to react that way i did and it's tearing me apart because i don't know whether things are okay with us after that and i'm sorry if i've lost you but you know what? i can't fucking lose you. it hurts so much right now, please let me know whether i've messed things up or not. please.
it's better this way. seriously. what i said had some grains of truth in it, but i am sick of this chapter. sick of this everything. i can't even be truthful anymore, and if i have to give up OTHER parts of myself in order to fulfill something that isn't important, it is not worth it. so no.
-marya hornbacher
spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)
- marshmallowfluff
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 16914
- Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:52 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: South Yorkshire, UK Age: 26
"you are my sweetest downfall,
i loved you first
i loved you first"
"And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me till the morning light
The morning light
And kissed me till the morning light"
no-one ever tells me ive done alright. if i could say this of you... you have no idea, do you?
i loved you first
i loved you first"
"And he told me that I'd done alright
And kissed me till the morning light
The morning light
And kissed me till the morning light"
no-one ever tells me ive done alright. if i could say this of you... you have no idea, do you?
<center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
<b>FISHY! WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING?!</b>
~"What could I say to you that would be of value, except that perhaps you seek too much, that as a result of your seeking you cannot find."~
Another Lonely Day
~~Laura~~
</center>
- Hisforever
- driving instructor
- Posts: 5904
- Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2006 6:06 am
- sorry i disappoint you so much, sorry i am not like her.... an infinite number of sorries, i know they don't help with anything but i truly feel like you deserve them and someone better than me. i will never amount to anything, you are right about that, and right about so many other things. you know the funny thing is even though you hurt me immensely i still love you and always will.
I wish you could talk to me like you're doing to her right now, you;ve never spoken to me like that not in ages. Sometimes i think you liked it better when you thought you could mend me, now I just a lost cause.
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
You told me it would be ok
You lured me into that false sense of security
I really did think everything would be ok
I thought we'd be fine. I thought you'd be my bestest everest mate forever and ever and ever
boyfriends come and go, friends stay forever. and I lost you both
you were my fucking everything. how could you do that to me?
I fucking miss you
and it's all my fault
You lured me into that false sense of security
I really did think everything would be ok
I thought we'd be fine. I thought you'd be my bestest everest mate forever and ever and ever
boyfriends come and go, friends stay forever. and I lost you both
you were my fucking everything. how could you do that to me?
I fucking miss you
and it's all my fault
*It is only in darkness you can see the stars*
**Hakuna Matata**
**Hakuna Matata**
- ~BrokenGlass~
- building community
- Posts: 627
- Joined: Sun Aug 01, 2004 9:31 pm
- Location: --UK--
- Contact:
I never forgave you for what you did and i was so angry at first, i could never understand why you left like that. I blamed myself for such a long time, what you did messed up my life in such an enormous way, but i want you to know that i never ever stopped loving you and no matter what i will never ever forget you.
--When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn--
D:
Right now I can't have any faith in this relationship. I can't have hope that we will survive this because it hurts to much and because it scares me to put faith in this. So I'm not. I'm working on the basis that you plan to dump every day but just don't go through with it, that way when you do do it i won't get hurt.
Right now I can't have any faith in this relationship. I can't have hope that we will survive this because it hurts to much and because it scares me to put faith in this. So I'm not. I'm working on the basis that you plan to dump every day but just don't go through with it, that way when you do do it i won't get hurt.
Im sorry that i always apologise for everything, I don't mean to be anoying its habit forming cos i worry and panic and i know its crap but im trying honest.
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
- ViolinPlayingGoat
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3062
- Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 8:28 pm
- Location: MK, UK
- Contact:
*i dont want to leave you for the holidays, im going to miss you -so- much.
it kills me when people tell me its ok its nearly the holidays. i want to laugh in their face because its so not okay.
and thinking about the fact i may not have lessons with you next year makes me feel sick.
i'm going to stick my head in the sand and hope the timetable is screwed up and they'll change it. i'll have a terrible summer if i don't.
*love you sweetie. take care of yourself. im sorry i dont know what to do to help.
'cos i am a rocket on fire[[alone on its journey, home to the quickening ground with no-one there to catch it]]
-kate bush
You do it to yourself, you do, that's what really hurts,
you do it to yourself, just you, you and no-one else
{radiohead}
*~*happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat*~*
-kate bush
You do it to yourself, you do, that's what really hurts,
you do it to yourself, just you, you and no-one else
{radiohead}
*~*happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat*~*
PM's and comments = good.
I want this to stop. I want this to end. I want to finally get to a place where the pain stops and the healing begins. I don't want to be bombarded by these issues anymore. I want to start feeling like I've got good enough ground to start accepting myself and working on getting myself to a better place, but I feel like I can't do that until I work through and deal with all these #*(&$(*&%# issues.
I just want to be some sort of normal. I don't want to deal with these issues anymore. I am not asking for puppies and sunshine, I'm asking for healing, to start healing, to start being well and decent with the universe and myself. That's all I've ever wanted.
I want this to stop. I want this to end. I want to finally get to a place where the pain stops and the healing begins. I don't want to be bombarded by these issues anymore. I want to start feeling like I've got good enough ground to start accepting myself and working on getting myself to a better place, but I feel like I can't do that until I work through and deal with all these #*(&$(*&%# issues.
I just want to be some sort of normal. I don't want to deal with these issues anymore. I am not asking for puppies and sunshine, I'm asking for healing, to start healing, to start being well and decent with the universe and myself. That's all I've ever wanted.
-marya hornbacher
spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)
- barnabygirl
- bus addict
- Posts: 2899
- Joined: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:56 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Nowhere
- Contact:
dear S... i am wanting to SU now, but im not telling you that, i pretend im not.. i dont want you to rescue me.. not the way you want me to be rescued.. if your rescue was to come and sit with me i would tell you.. but your way is sending the police to put me in hospital,,
how can i be honest then?
how can i be honest then?
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