Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:24 pm

Today is my birthday
and I wished my mom didn't have Multiple Scholerosis not so she would be better and out of the hospital, but so I would at least get some birthday attention

SaraiStar · Post by **SaraiStar** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 3:08 am

*I wish I could just lose it. Absolutely lose it, have a complete breakdown, need to be hospitalized, the works. I hate always being just barely able to keep myself afloat... it is killing me slowly. I'm so tired. Noo one knows or notices or cares when you are slowly dying from the inside out.

*I need you to ask about everything. I need you to want to know everything about me, to want to know even the worst things that happen in my head, to WANT to know and hold me and be there, with no judgment or hesitation.

*I'm really selfish a lot of the time. It makes me sick to realize and to see.

SaraiStar · Post by **SaraiStar** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 3:12 am

*I wonder if ending that relationship was the biggest mistake that I could make.

theboldeditalics · Post by **theboldeditalics** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 9:21 am

*language*

I pretend to feel better.
and all my friends think I feel better.
and my family thinks I'm "normal" now
and not that fucked up weirdo I used to be.

I am living another huge lie.

I feel like I felt three years ago, when
everyone thought I was the bubbly wholesome
girl-next-door family girl.

But really I was drinking all the time
and cutting all the time
and hated everyone around me.

I don't know.

I am getting drunk a lot, lately.

But I don't want to tell anyone
that I was lying this whole time
and I'm not "fixed."

Lynds · Post by **Lynds** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 5:47 pm

Sometimes I still hate you

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Sat Jun 24, 2006 8:20 pm

PMs welcome

Lynds · Post by **Lynds** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 12:32 am

*PMs/comments ok*

OK, so this is what I wish I could say to my now ex best mate but I don't have the courage...here goes...

I haven't been able to watch True Romance since you left cos it reminds me of you and that day when we sat at mine and watched it, quoting all the lines like the film buff losers that we are.
I miss you. I think about you most days in fact.
You confused me. I think you loved me but you also loved to hate me.
I never wanted to be with you. I always loved him more than you-why didn't you ever listen to me when I told you that?
I never cried. I wish I could've done for your sake but I just couldn't.
Even though I miss you, I'm glad I don't see you anymore. You provided me with an easy way out and I took it.
We can never be friends again but I still miss you.
I miss going to the pub at 12 noon and doing rank shots...I miss Nick and how like a wife he was to you. I miss your random texts and the long conversations we would have about how crap our lives were.
I don't miss having to hide how happy I was from you.
I wish you could read this. I wish you could know how I feel. I wish that by telling you, it wouldn't mean that it was the end becuase I don't want it to be the end but I know it has to be...at least for now...and I think probably forever.
I guess what I really want to say is that I MISS YOU SO MUCH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE THINGS SO COMPLICATED AND HARD? WHY COULDN'T YOU LET ME BE HAPPY?
I know you're response to this would be "OK, ask me again one by one" and that makes me want to cry and hug you and for you to tell me that everything is going to be ok but I know you never will...WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE ME? WHY THE FUCK DID I LET YOU GO?

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 1:05 am

I miss being part of you all, i feel so left out that you have your life there and Im not there, even though im ok here. Sorry for being selfish.

I want to cut like in the old days then i might feel real. But at the same time I want it all to go away.....I want to stop.

Im obsessing about not eating again, havent been here in a while, I dont want to stop si only to go back to having an ed again. Im so pathetic

Wandering · Post by **Wandering** » Sun Jun 25, 2006 10:25 pm

**************Slight SI/SU trigs**************

I wish I could SI whenever I want, and not feel guilty

Sometimes I want to kill myself just so I don't have to face choices any more

**********end trigs**********
comments fine

Not_what · Post by **Not_what** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 2:30 am

I miss you

comments/pms fine

*.*Black_Star*.* · Post by ***.*Black_Star*.*** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 11:31 am

comments/pm are ok

i cant pciture his face anymore, its been so long and i thought he'd be here forever...i cant remember how to be happy, i cant move on from this, he was my everything and i never told him that and now he's gone, and after all the hiding and the running away from it and the lying to him and the hurting him because i was too scared to admit it i cant bear to let that happen again, i dont wanna hurt anymore, i wish i had died when he did.........no i take that back, i did die when he did, and thats why i feel so bad, im jsut a nothing, and emoty shell and i cant even remember how to pretend to be alive anymore........

jendifa · Post by **jendifa** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 9:41 pm

- part of me hates myself so much that i cannot understand why anyone would ever want to speak to me so i avoid people in the hope that they will notice i am and comment

- i go to church and everyone thinks im a good Christian but actually im rubbish

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 10:32 pm

I tell you Im fine im not im still siing not that you'd ask.

I think it was my fault, i think i always will, i dont think i want to stop thinking that way, cos then it might mean that image isnt real and its precious cos i want you to be here I wish you were.

Not_what · Post by **Not_what** » Mon Jun 26, 2006 11:22 pm

you didnt care and look where that got me

i was vulnerable and you shattered me

Lynds · Post by **Lynds** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 10:00 pm

I almost told you today

Neviah · Post by **Neviah** » Tue Jun 27, 2006 10:14 pm

i cant picture my uncle anymore i always promised myself i'd remember him but he died so long ago

xanemicroyaltyx · Post by **xanemicroyaltyx** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 11:01 pm

some days i don't even think about them anymore.

everything's been put into perspective now.

Neviah · Post by **Neviah** » Fri Jun 30, 2006 11:19 pm

sometimes the voices tell me to do bad things..

dont speak · Post by **dont speak** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 4:14 am

- im scared to death and embarrased to post these
- i fall so hard for so many guys... how will i know when its REAL?
- it scares me how easy it was to cut my best friend out of my life
- i wish i had the life my childhood friend has now... including her boyfriend
- older men scare and disgust me... will they disgust me when im the same age as them? what if i get married and end up not liking my husband?
- when i first live on my own, how will i meet people? what if i end up alone because ill just stay at home once theres no longer people calling me to go out? im scared to death of not having a lot of friends
- i try to stop , but i cant - im extremly judgemental towards peoples looks and i dont like being around people i dont find attractive

troubles undone · Post by **troubles undone** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 11:18 pm

Comments/Pms fine

**********SI, SU*************

sometimes i don't ever want to stop SIing...it makes me feel...it makes me happier than a hell of a lot of stuff does...

but i *need* to be able to cut how i want to, to feel good about myself, and not just what i'm doing now so that i can hide it...

and why should i have to hide it from you? I don't want you to know, but i *hate* hiding this and lying to you all the time, more than *anything* else...

I tell you i have stopped, i tell you i am fine, i am happy...when deep down i *hate* myself too much to want to live...

yet i say nothing because i love you too much

bus

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

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