how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It will ease for a minute then get worse cos I'll have to hide the marks
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will provide a slight, temporary shift in feeling that will soon turn into self hatred and shame.
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
Closer to feeling shit. I want to feel proud of myself that I dealt with the urge in a possitive way. I don't want to feel like I gave in
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It doesn't seem like the best option at all. Relief for me lasts a few minutes at the most then along comes the guilt...
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could write a letter to my friend in Australia who knows all about my problems and is great to talk to (even if it's in a letter form). It will make me happier cos I miss her and I enjoy writing to her. If I last the night without SIing then the feeling will carry me through till the morning and hopefully all of tomorrow.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
If I SI I will feel ashamed, worthless and shit tomorrow. If I don't, I will feel proud of myself and victorious.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I could write my letter and tell my mate all about the stuff that's bothering me (even if I don't send it and write a more lighthearted one tomorrow). I DON'T WANT TO SLIP AGAIN. I need to think about why exactly I'm feeling so miserable right now...
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Having a stressful week. Missing my bf. Missing my mate in Australia. Worrying about my other mate who's in trouble...I feel I need to SI cos it's always been my main coping mechanism
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Hell yeah I've been here before! I've gone both ways-SIed and felt rubbish about it and also NOT SIed and felt good but sometimes still sad and issues still felt unresolved...
What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Watched a DVD. Answering these questions is making me think more seriously about how I will feel tomorrow (which is what I want to concentrate on otherwise I think I might give in). I think i will probably write to my mate.
How do I feel right now?
Slightly calmer but scared that I might slip but I'm feeling more confident and stronger having answered the Qs.
How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Numb but exhilarated at the same time. Unstoppable. Strong but weak. Fierce.
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Sad. Dissapointed. Guilty. Scared that I will do it again. Shame.
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I will try to...
Do I need to hurt myself?
NO. NO. NO. I DON'T NEED TO HURT MYSELF. (that's me trying to reinforce my belief!) It's stupid: I know I don't need to and I don't want to but part of me is just thinking but how else can I cope even though I 've just been through all that with myself...dear oh dear oh dear. It almost make sme laugh...which makes me feel better actually! *sighs as is exasperated with self!*
