How do you deal with anger?

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Sun May 07, 2006 5:06 pm

Recently when i get upset i dont cry anymore if i get upset or hurt, i get angry and very defensive. This is not like me at all as most people that know me IRL say they have never seen me angry. I do not like this change in how i react but do not know how to deal with it as its so new to me.

Ive tried stepping away from the situation but that increases my anger as my mind brings back past situations that my mind has connected to this and it makes me more angry.

I would appreciate any advice you could give me on how i can deal with my anger better as i dont like this angry person i am becoming.

Post by **Spidey** » Sun May 07, 2006 7:13 pm

i am no good at dealing with anger. i often let my anger get the best of me. v_v

however, chimera has started a thread <a href="http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=96930"> about feeling and expressing anger</a> in the workshop.

tinks__shadow · Post by **tinks__shadow** » Sun May 07, 2006 8:43 pm

hi lotty,
the link that mercy snow has given is probably your best bet but i just wanted to let you know that i had come by and read.
when i am angry i tend to talk phone up jen or flik and vent at them for a while or write it down depending on what i am angry about, i also find doing something physical often helps such as going for a brisk walk as when i get angry i find that if i spend time not doing anything then i get even more agitated and i also like to keep my hands busy

have you tried getting a stress ball or a koosh ball or something, things that are soft and pliable are great because you can stretch/ twist and throw them.
not sure if the above will help, but i hope you find someway to manage yor anger,
xxx

bexy · Post by **bexy** » Sun May 07, 2006 9:25 pm

I used to have a big problem with anger, as I think you know I still sometimes have trouble controlling my temper when something pushes me too far.

Tinks__shadow suggested having something to play with in your hands. I'd reccomend that too. Maybe a stress ball or worry beads or something like that, something you can be violent with if that's what you want.

Try writing down how you feel, maybe in a notebook or in a private entry your LJ or wherever you feel comfortable putting it. It can be just writing that you're angry because ..... or all the things that maybe you want to shout at whatver or whoever is making you angry but can't.

Also, venting is good. If you can't write it down maybe call someone or pm them and just vent at them.

I hope some of that helps
Take care

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Mon May 08, 2006 7:20 pm

Thank you, you three for your replies, i really appreciate you doing so

Mercy Snow - thank you for pointing me into the direction of Chimera's thread on Workshop, its not a part of the board i normally go into but i will keep an eye on this thread in there.

Beccie - Thank you for your suggestions, i will have a go at trying some of them and see if i can find one that works. I tend to bottle up my anger for fear of starting an arguement with the person but ive found it just starts an arguement anyway so i might try voicing my anger to someone or doing something physical. Ive never really thought about doing something with my hands but i know when my friend from my old school would get angry she would spend whole lessons sometimes ripping up paper so maybe i could try something like that. Thank you for coming here and replying, i appreciate your suggestions and reply

Bexy - thank you for your suggestions too. I will try doing things with my hands, i saw a shop on Saturday that sold those stressball things so i might look into getting one as i often find when im angry or upset or something i will fidget with my hands or something so that could help. I have also been thinking quite a lot today about the notebook/writing things down idea and i think thats another thing i will try. Your ideas were helpful, thank you for replying hun i appreciate your insight and ideas

collide · Post by **collide** » Wed May 10, 2006 6:02 pm

how i deal with anger...is pretty much same as u...bottle up everything inside til i explode and do something irrational....

other things i've tried because anger underneathe really is a lot of pain...so i'd want to SI, and have...but there were other times i just threw something (of course that made holes in my place)....my sister suggested getting a punching bag...punch the hell out of it!

http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=89417 (my POETRY)
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... &start=420 (my PLACE)
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=95533 (collides spiritual place)

collide

innerpain · Post by **innerpain** » Fri May 12, 2006 8:12 am

collide wrote:how i deal with anger...is pretty much same as u...bottle up everything inside til i explode and do something irrational....

I am the same way and if I do nothing it gets worse I usely run as far as I can then walk a while then run again after I catch my breath it usely helps me. just thought I would try to help

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Fri May 12, 2006 10:37 am

just me - thank you sweetheart and thank you for everything you do for me and being here, i really appreciate it.

Collide - Thank you for letting me know you can relate to what im saying and for your suggestion, i appreciate you coming by and letting me know how you deal with it.

Innerpain - thank you so much for your suggestion, i think i will try it as i do need more exercise and if its a good way of getting rid of anger its one i should look into.

troubles undone · Post by **troubles undone** » Sat May 13, 2006 8:05 pm

just thought i'd let you know that physical activity is a fab way of releasing stress and getting fit at the same time.

I deliberately make sure i do some sort of sport everyday, just as a way of relieving the stress and anger. Ball sports are good cos you can be as violent towards the balls as you want and they won't break or get hurt!!!

Hope this helps hun

*hugs* if ok?

T.U.
xxx

whoareyou?doyouevenknow? · Post by **whoareyou?doyouevenknow?** » Mon May 15, 2006 12:09 am

*agrees with everyone else*

the way i deal with angry...depends where i am and who im with. when im upset/angry at school i just tend to get very hyper but if im at home i either shout, or bottle it up or just sulk around the house....

if okay?

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Thu Jun 01, 2006 8:26 pm

punching a pillow is good

screaming in a remote place can get it out

drawing anger - I have used black crayons and scribble alot till I get it out (kinda a flipside of the writing in the journal thing) any color will do.

silent scream,- scream into both of your hands tightly covering your mouth, tightly covering your mouth, noone will hear a scream, just a sqeaky sound, I have done this, or scream into your pillow will work also

throwing rocks hard into a pond, river or lake - make sure you don't hit anything alive

styled_wrong · Post by **styled_wrong** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 1:11 am

well tonite (not an advised method) i tore up my room literally when i was angry i have a lot of repairs to do now but i did go for a walk before i got too outa hand and i just kept myself going even though i was dead from my karate training. maybe u can find something like that?

apocalyptiX · Post by **apocalyptiX** » Sat Jun 03, 2006 3:40 am

When I get angry I take it out on in-animate objects; doors, walls, anything...and I just lay into it, usually damaging my hands and the object in the process...I don't advise this, I'm just saying...

badgirl22 · Post by **badgirl22** » Mon Jun 05, 2006 7:17 am

when I get angry I usually take it out on myself instead of doing something outward, I usually do it inward. ITs not a good thing to do and wouldn't recomend it to anyone, but that is how I deal with anger.
-Badgirl22

lelijk lijk · Post by **lelijk lijk** » Tue Jun 06, 2006 5:27 pm

I am not suggesting that you do what i do. I hit walls. My mom saw that my knuckles were all swollen and nasty and was all "don't hit things"
I think that the best way to deal with anger is to talk about it. or write about it. it helps let your emotions out without hurting yourself, or someone else.
i don't know if that helps but...tee!

beautifulgarbage · Post by **beautifulgarbage** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 5:12 pm

I cannot deal with anger. Actually, I cannot deal with a lot of feelings. This is when I used to SI, but now I try to replace SI with physical activity. It's the only thing that really works. Or I put on really 'happy' music even if I'm not in the mood.

arms of steal · Post by **arms of steal** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 2:27 am

i got this idea from a other web site blow up so bloons and let all of your anger out *hopes this helps*

Derrick

arms of steal · Post by **arms of steal** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 2:28 am

i got this idea from a other web site blow up so bloons and let all of your anger out *hopes this helps*

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Wed Jun 14, 2006 4:11 am

I have to go away. I have to get myself out of the situation. If I'm out somewhere I usually go to a bathroom stall, to my home bathroom, to my closet or my room. Somewhere quiet or loud if I turn up the radio. Get it all out by myself, then go over a friends house or call someone

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