Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

Post by **Spidey** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 11:26 am

it has been forever.

or it seems like it. when in all actuality it has only been four years since the last time we talked.

although the times are few and far between, and only come up when i am reminded of you, i still look for you. i still think about you, wonder how you're doing and if you're happy.

i'm glad, though, that it's few and far between that i remember you / think about you. it's a relief.

and i have thrown the letters that i wrote to you away. threw away the last of the tangible reminders of you. they are just remnants of memory, anyway.

it felt good to do that.

lelijk lijk · Post by **lelijk lijk** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 2:22 pm

I love you, but you lied. and i don't know how i can deal with this.
I will always love you. Please don't hurt me again.

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 8:07 pm

A - you hurt me this evening with your comments. You make me feel small and stupid constantly and you never realise it. You say that 'shut up' is all i ever say to you but all you ever say to me is something to start an arguement or something to put me down and who would want to listen to that? I dont need you to sort my top out, i will wear it how i want and i will sit how i want and do what i want. Ive had a very different life to you even though im your sister. 14 operations or whatever it is now and been bullied and just in general found things a lot tougher than you but you dont take that into account. You think im a freak and have no life and stupid and i hate it. All my memories of you are hurtful and ones where we have been arguing or youve made me cry or something and its not supposed to be like that. I dont have that with any other sister, not even with my brother. The sooner im away from you, the better.

_____iamacliche · Post by **_____iamacliche** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 9:02 pm

i'm sick and tired of you taking shit out on me, i'm tired of trying to help when you just shove it back in my face, i'm tired of you lying to me. i'm just so fucking tired. maybe i should just not fucking exist. end of.

Quiet little Angel · Post by **Quiet little Angel** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 9:13 pm

i wish you would stop doing this to me... please... just leave me alone... all i ever did was love you... and this is what i get in return... well i'm just not wure i want it... i know i'll miss you when you're gone, but it wont hurt as much as this...

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Wed Jun 07, 2006 9:47 pm

Why, why why am i feeling like this! I should be happy and excited and im not im all triggery and nearly in tears stupid girl.

g - i love you, miss you your sitting over there but feels a million miles away...

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 10:35 am

- it feels like i never existed. I find out people who left have been invited back to the leavers assembly, and no one has mentioned it to me. Then i read in the magazine people that left were invited back to the celebration evening, i wasnt. You all find it fine to keep in touch with others out of school but when it comes to me you dont bother.

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 2:31 pm

- your online now, i want to talk to you but im not putting myself out anymore. You need to be the one to talk to me, so im restraining myself because i know from you not talking to me, you dont want to and i cant get hurt at the moment.

spesh · Post by **spesh** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 4:42 pm

I hate you for not being there when my dad died. It's been six months since he passed away and I haven't heard a word from you. I understand you have this wonderful new life, and someone as unreal as me from the old one isn't worthy of your time now, but fuck. Did my friendship mean so little to you? All you had to do was ask if I was okay.

~starblaze~ · Post by **~starblaze~** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:54 pm

- thank you for making the site, i know you dont know who i am or anything about me and i guess thats why i found it easier to let some things go. It made me feel heard.

barnabygirl · Post by **barnabygirl** » Thu Jun 08, 2006 8:54 pm

S: i think you coulda showed me atleast some understanding when i told you that.. it was hard for me to hear,,

w: its so many things i dont dare telling you,,, and i know you would wanna admit me for each and every one of them.. thats why i dont tell you..

J: im sorry im sucha mess, and leaving you being the best. i love you,, but i told u that,,

Dad: your STUPID,, you have TWO kids not just one,, and this ONE isnt messing her own life up!!! maybe you love me if i start drinking too and have you pay all my bills?? i dubt it!!!

MIL god plz dont judge me if you find out aobut SI or dissociation probs,, plz plz,,

bexy · Post by **bexy** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 12:11 am

You asked me to get the address and I got it for you. And I will send an email too just like we decided the other night.
But a part of me doesn't want to.
I can't lie to him like I did last time. Last time there were a load of other people around and he didn't have much time so I smiled and I lied and I let him be proud of me when there was nothing to be proud of.
But by email it will be different. And I'm going to be compared to you again. We were always compared to each other, but that was ok because we were always more or less equal and it made us both work harder, push ourselves to try to be better. Now we're not equal. And I wish I could still compete with you.

leemc77 · Post by **leemc77** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 12:44 am

Why won't you talk to me anymore?
What did I do - you were my only support - Why?
I'm tired of being alone, why doesn't anyone understand?

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 6:11 am

I don't understand. Why did you get so angry over something so stupid? I TOLD you I would be coming home late.
And btw, I hate it when you scream at me instead of saying hello. It really freaks me out.
I was having a good time, you fuckheads, a really really nice time for the first time in a REALLY LONG TIME. And you fucking ruined it for me. That's why I wasn't talking to you. I couldn't trust myself not to say what I really wanted to. Which is this: you're so worried about me SIing, but right now, the only reason I can think of for this is that you want me to hurt myself.

black_23 · Post by **black_23** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 10:20 pm

Im sorry Im not a better sister, that you dont feel like you can talk to me anymore. Im sorry I dont pay you enough attention Im crap and horrible but I love you so much I just wnt to take care of you. x

barnabygirl · Post by **barnabygirl** » Fri Jun 09, 2006 11:46 pm

you are so wierd!!!... i wish i knew exactly what distance you want me at ... close or far,, one day your million miles away,, the next u pull me in like that, u so dont make sence to me,, i wish u told me exactly what i mean to you,, but i know u wont cuz ur so wierd,,,!!!!

bexy · Post by **bexy** » Sat Jun 10, 2006 12:21 am

i don't want to go. you don't think i'd be safe here alone but I'm not sure I'll be safe away from here right now. but i can't tell you because you'll make me feel guilty and then use that to make sure i don't object again.

Skyeler · Post by **Skyeler** » Sat Jun 10, 2006 5:09 pm

Dear neighbors,

Yes, I know it's hard to believe that me and Sarah are 21, married, having a baby and living on your street. Yes, I know that I don't fit the usual mold of someone who's married, about to become a dad and living on your street. I actually have a face, yes it had piercings but you know what? When you're talking to me it's only polite that you look at my face and not my tattoos.
I'm not the spawn of the devil, I'm not an anarchist, I don't do drugs anymore, hell I don't even drink anymore. I work 14 hours a day. I know that you're a bunch of shallow, gossip hungry, spiteful, lonely housewives. Get over yourselves, stop comming up with excuses to come to our house unless you're going to treat me like an actual human being.

Skyeler

ps. I shaved my head because I dropped a paint brush full of paint in my hair while I was painting the ceiling of the baby's nursery. It's not a radical expression of my anarchist beliefs, or a sign that I worship the devil, or that I'm a skin head. I dropped paint in my hair, the paint wouldn't come off, so the hair had to go.

spesh · Post by **spesh** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 2:49 pm

I wish I could talk to you without fear of making you ill with worry.

Quiet little Angel · Post by **Quiet little Angel** » Sun Jun 11, 2006 5:10 pm

i wish i could let you go... maybe then i could be happy... but i worry too much... i care too much...

bus

Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 Language

Who is online