Feeling undeserving of therapy

[maenad]

How do you guys cope with feeling undeserving of support?

I am due to start DBT in a few months. I'm fighting these conflicting feelings of wanting to try hard and resist SI urges etc but also being scared I am 'not sick enough' for the programme. I am 'in recovery' from anorexia and already I find myself feeling I have to lose weight in order to start this new therapy. I know it could make a big difference to me but I am terrified of group sessions with other people with all these problems - maybe being triggered by them or discovering new ways to mess my life up.


Can anyone relate to feeling undeserving of therapy? Do you have any ideas for and how to fight self destructive urges when being self destructive would 'validate' needing the help (and ironically make me too ill to recieve it)

When I am calm I can see my thoughts are irrational but I need - I don't know - some phrases to stick on cards round my flat to stop me backing out of DBT and just any tips or ideas of how to cope with this.

Thanks

[mallie]

I think I tend to block a lot of that sort of thing out, and not cope with it properly. Probably not the most helpful answer.

What do you think makes other people deserve support? What would you have to do, or who would you have to be to be worthy of support?

In terms of therapy, I'd say you deserve it if you have things you want to change, and you're willing to put the work in to do it. I don't think there is more to it than that.

[maenad]

What do you think makes other people deserve support? What would you have to do, or who would you have to be to be worthy of support?

Thanks for posting those questions - that's a really helpful way to look at it.

I guess I would see people of deserving support - in this case because it is a specific programme, if: the moods swings, self destructive behaviours and associated BPD symptoms were stopping them from living their life to any kind of decent standard. And yup I have probably described my own circumstances but... here comes the but ... I guess I have this huge nagging doubt that 'If only I tried harder, wasn't so afraid or gutless I would be fine'.

Perhaps the only way to challenge that is to try as hard as I can in the run up to starting the programme and see what the result is.

I generally have a hard time fitting into services because when I am well I can't imagine being in need of them and can be fairly competant etc - so the level of care (in this case it's almost daily with out of hours telehone contact with the T) seems un-neccessary, but when I am bad I need far more help than, say what I have right now which is weekly CBT.

It really helps to hear someone say 'You deserve it if you are willing to put the work in' because in amongst all the confusion I do know I am 100% willing to try and try again.

Thanks for your response