before...

[twistddreamr]

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

-I'll feel better for a little while...I'm sure I'll feel guilty after, but only because I let a friend down. She's the only thing stopping me. If I did it and she wasn't in the picture, it probably wouldn't be a big deal.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

-It will bring complications and confrontation. It will take away some of this anxiety.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

-I want to feel better. I want to get over my ex. The only way hurting myself will get me closer to this goal is that it might scare her away (even though she told me I could never do that).

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

-The relief may last a few days at most. Then I'l probably want to do it again.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

-I could watch (more) tv, clean (more), call my friend, use other distractions. I feel like it will just put off the inevitable.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

-I'll feel either still calm from hurting myself, or I'll feel guilty. Or I'll feel nothing. If I do the other things, the urge will either pass or get worse. They haven't gotten better so far.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

-Honestly, I'm getting tired of fighting. I'm wanting to self injure.

More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

-Breaking up with my ex. Being home and having to deal with my father. The pressure of finding a job this second.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

-I have been here many times. I either just tried ignoring the feeling, distracting myself, or I gave in. I usually felt better eventually.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

-I've used rubber bands, doing chores, surfing the net, talking to my mom about random stuff, watching tv. I can continue those things.

How do I feel right now?

-Filled with anxiety. Panicked. Tired. Stressed. Depressed. Low.

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

-Calm. Clear. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

-I'll be numb to everything. Sometimes it lasts days.

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

-I can't really avoid it, they're all kinda sitting in front of my face.

Do I need to hurt myself?

-I sure feel like it.

[twistddreamr]

Just went to a movie to try distracting myself but I'm just as bad if not worse than when I went...

sometimes i wonder if i should just go back to it, just for a little while, until i'm stronger.



and then i realize i'll get no where that way.

sooooooooo frustrating.

[balletomane]

Hi, twistddreamer.

I am sorry you are so anxious at the moment. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.

For me, it helps to have a plan of action when dealing with something stressful. Does that sort of thing help you? For example outlining a plan for finding a job.

You mentioned that you usually use distractions and that eventually you get through the urge. Was there anything particularly helpful the last time you made it through and urge?

What things can you do to ease the discomfort of waiting out these feelings? Some things (like a break up) take time to get over. It sounds like being particularly gentle with yourself right now would be a good idea.

I am glad that you realize that you don't need to wait until you are stonger. I think that realization shows that you ARE very strong, even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment.

take care.

[twistddreamr]

Thanks for replying, I appreciate it.


I've found making lists of places to apply to be helpful, but I've already applied everywhere I can think of. My father is on my case about finding a job, so that's why its so stressful (besides the fact that I have no money). I've been out looking almost every day for a little over a week for hours and I haven't gotten a call back yet from anyone.

Usually the reason I get through the urge is because my ex/friend was either with me when I was going through them or because I knew I would upset her.


I've been trying to keep myself busy in order to keep my mind off of everything going on, but at soon as I stop it all floods back.

[balletomane]

It's good that you've been keeping busy and making lists of places to apply.

I hope you are able to get a job soon.

Does having someone with you help the urge to fade? Or is it a matter of being distracted until the urge passes?

Some of those feelings will take a long time to work through. I hope you are able to keep yourself safe while you work through it.

[twistddreamr]

Thanks. I just applied today at a place and they told me I should be getting a call for an interview tomorrow. I would have seen the manager right then but he was in a meeting. So hopefully I get a call tomorrow.


Being around friends and supportive people usually makes the urge fade. Sometimes it comes back after the person has gone home or whatever, and sometimes the urge is gone. Most of the time it's a matter of distracting myself until the urge passes.


I'm trying my best to stay safe while I'm working through everything. Thanks for the good wishes, I hope I can stay safe too.