Coping Parent

[poetmom]

How do I serve the needs of my family through the trauma we are encountering? More changes are just around the corner and I expect things to get, though I hope they won't, much worse. Being prepared after the things I've found, taking the steps to create a safe and lovingly supportive environment...it aint easy! There's a ton of anger and resentment controlling this home. I'd very much like to hear from survivors...how did their parents help them and what did they hate the most. And what are they most grateful about now...thank you, all.

To help myself get thru this I write, journal poetry. I need to know how to best help my daughter. Coping in California....

[Licentia Poetica]

Hi. I'm one of the mods in Coping.

I just wanted to welcome you to BUS & suggest that you move this posts or post in family & friends as well, you may find more people there in your situation



Finding a balance in families is difficult. Changes & difficulties are always going to be there in one way or another, sometimes you have to go with the flow, take it one step at a time & do the best you can. Ultimately you have to care, be considerate and put yourself in the other person's place. Being so close to others can mean anger often arises, it's important to find ways to deal with it properly, because often what happens is negative comments come out from one person to the next & it creates a bigger hole in the relationship than was was intended by the comment.

I hope you find what you need here. You've come to a good place. Maybe if you explained a little more about your family & what you're coping with, it may help people to reply to you.

[bpdjules]

my parents stuck by me through alot.believe me,for years i put them through hell.i hated how they we're always there for,the way they would'nt stop loving me & supporting.i hated that most.but now it's the thing i'm most gratful for out of it all.w/o my parents i would been dead when i was 11.i still thank them for all they did & still do.i would NOT be here if it was'nt for my parents. don't know if that helps any....take care.good luck.

[ebmcs]

I think that what you are doing is beautiful.

Things that hurt:
- Pretending like there wasn't a problem
- Using embarassment/shaming to try to stop the problem
- Showing disgust
- Using counseling as a threat

Things that would have helped:
- Unconditional love
- Encouraging me to go to counseling
- Asking/caring what was hurting so much