Tips for dealing with comments about si?

beautiful_facade · Post by **beautiful_facade** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 10:36 pm

i was just wondering if anyone has any strategies for dealing with harsh or inappropriate comments?

i'm mainly talking about from health professionals...but it might be good to make it a more general thing as well.

Thanks.

angel

Post by **Spidey** » Wed Apr 12, 2006 11:47 pm

If it comes from a health professional, it depends on why I'm there. If I'm there *for* an SI-related thing and they say something negative/cruel about my SI while they're treating me for it, I'll write a letter to their supervisor (thank Dog this hasn't happened yet). Mental health professionals I'd probably just walk out on and never look back.

This is probably the most oversaid thing in the universe, but it holds some truth: Usually when people say dumbass things, it's out of ignorance/fear and not exactly hatred or spite. Stupidity makes people...more stupid.

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 5:38 am

it'd depend on what they said... & context... & what the reasons behind it might be... etcetc

eg. even wording can be less-than-tactful... like 'parasuicide' 'slicing' 'self-mutilation'
'acting out' how one might cut themselves... eg. making motions as if they were cutting their arm...
'why would such an intelligent girl do this...' 'well that was stupid...' 'if you want to throw your life away..'

those can be tough to deal with... yet there can be reasons behind. they're not necessarily meant harshly.

depending on what you want out of the situation... you might want to just speak up directly to them.

_MessedUp_ · Post by **_MessedUp_** » Thu Apr 13, 2006 4:55 pm

if it's comments that come from friends or other people you know, i find it easier to correct them, or at least to explain abit about SI to them. A lot of the time most people don't understand SI, so don't realise that what they say can be harmful

newdeepdan · Post by **newdeepdan** » Sat Apr 15, 2006 5:05 am

I've gotten comments from my friends which were not what I expected... they were so hostile about the situation like as if "you shouldn't do that" will make it go away... and slowly I've just drifted apart from them. These were my best friends ever since high school, but with my college friends its so much easier to talk to them about it and just relate easier... I find it better to just take the comments not so harshly and just go along with the river in a sense... anywayz that's my spiel...

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 8:28 am

I tend to get oddly self confident with any sort of comments. I turn to dry humor. Once I was at a "superhero" dress up party and someone asked and I said I got it from fighting vampires

Once in a night club I managed to convince some (very!) drunk guy that they were tattoos

Professionals... it depends what the comment is, and if the comment is just a stupid remark or a part of an actual pigheaded ignorance. Imho, if a mental health professional has problems coping with SI or makes odd/ hurtful remarks often, they're not a very good mental health professional.

Post by **Spidey** » Sun Apr 16, 2006 7:30 pm

Licentia Poetica wrote: Imho, if a mental health professional has problems coping with SI or makes odd/ hurtful remarks often, they're not a very good mental health professional.

I'm not defending ignorant or stupid comments in any way, shape or form by MH professionals, but in all honesty, they are humans too. There may be some that haven't ever *seen* SI or don't know very much about it, and could possibly be scared/thrown off by it. The first time they say something stupid, yeah, well, you can ask them if they're familiar with the territory, but if they're making ignorant remarks often obviously they don't know what to do and you're faced with the choice of education (which isn't really your job, you're the patient, not them), leaving, or standing up for yourself.

They are human though, and sometimes I do wonder if dumbass remarks made by the psychiatric community in reference to SI are more about <b>fear</b> and a sense of "OMG I have never seen this before what do I do what do I do" rather than outright assholetry.

beautiful_facade · Post by **beautiful_facade** » Mon Apr 17, 2006 1:14 pm

Thanks for all this advice/personal experiences so far

It's much appreciated.

angel

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:38 am

mercy snow wrote:They are human though, and sometimes I do wonder if dumbass remarks made by the psychiatric community in reference to SI are more about fear and a sense of "OMG I have never seen this before what do I do what do I do" rather than outright assholetry.

Oh I completely agree. I think that if they are making remarks that are difficult for us to deal with... then it is probably based on misunderstanding or their ignorance and inexperience to SI. However, I just don't think in our emotional state we should have to put up with their fear and remarks no matter what innocent thing is causing them.

Dunno.

bus

Tips for dealing with comments about si?

Tips for dealing with comments about si?

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