After *ed not si

[red umbrellas]

Edited slightly to suit the fact that this is for ED urges, not SI

* what had happened just before?
I'd been on a long walk to te big Sainsbury's. Bought some sligtly more exciting foods than I can usually buy. Had seen a friend of my boyfriend's on the way, who I don't particularly like

* what were you thinking and feeling?
Reasonably happy....vaguely guilty about some of the things I bought, but wanting them all the same. Feeling a little insecure as well - the girl we saw has just broken up with her boyfriend, and I sometimes feel like she is chasing my boyfriend a little and, being as insecure as I feel about myself, this scares me a lot.

* why did you end up bingeingf then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Because I found a food I haven't had before. It was different, I wanted to try it, I couldn't resist temptation.

* how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I guess I could have not bought the bag of crisps. Or I could have had some and given them to a friend to look after them. Once I started though, a combination of enjoyment and compulsion to keep eating took over - a feeling like 'what is the point in stopping now'

* were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
No, not really

* what other ways of coping did you try besides bingeing? how well did they work?
I didn't Didn't really think, tried to block thoughts and just ate.

* in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I don't know about coping methods as such. But reminding myself how little money I have right now. Asking friends to remind me *not* to buy such things as I know I don't have the self control to stop. Once I've had a certain amount, giving food to friends so that I can't continue eating.





About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.


* What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
More attractive options of food to binge on. surrounded by so much food

* Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
Both. Decided to explore the bigger store, so I guess I made it, as well as by buying it. But once I was there...well, it was there for the taking.

* What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I probably wouldn't have had it, and would have had stronger resolve to beat the urge. I might have tried to resolve my insecurities in a more productive way...talking to friends about my feelings etc.
On a more food related level, I would have eaten whatever I have at home....and everything at home right now is healthy.

* If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
Frustrated...but ultimately better.

[mallie]

[sorry this is such a late reply]

Because I found a food I haven't had before. It was different, I wanted to try it, I couldn't resist temptation.

Are you able to try a new food without binging on it?

Was what you ate really an unreasonable amount, or just something that was on the unhealthy side?

I know that one of the things recommended to people with overeating type issues is to not go shopping when you're angry/upset (if these trigger wanting to eat), and to make sure you've eaten before going shopping. Have you tried anything like this? Do you think you'd have not bought the crisps if you didn't see the girl on the way to the store?

Would shopping with a friend remove some of the 'opportunity' for buying things ?

[red umbrellas]

Are you able to try a new food without binging on it?

Yes. But if I try it when I am physically hungry or feeling emotionally rocky, I'm more likely to feel out of control - like the taste and sensation of eating controls me.
I guess the point there is to avoid buying any kind of food until I've passed those feelings. especially something that I will crave and enjoy.

Was what you ate really an unreasonable amount, or just something that was on the unhealthy side?

It wasn't hugely excessive. But I ate a BIG pack of crisps which I followed up straight away with dinner of a pizza. So essentially it was a definite overeating session, on things that aren't hea;thy at all.

I know that one of the things recommended to people with overeating type issues is to not go shopping when you're angry/upset (if these trigger wanting to eat), and to make sure you've eaten before going shopping. Have you tried anything like this? Do you think you'd have not bought the crisps if you didn't see the girl on the way to the store?

I do try not to go shopping when I'm hungry. I have however, used unhealthy foods as a kind of emotional crutch though since I left home, so I do sometimes shop when I'm angry/upset etc. I think I'd still have bought the crisps if we hadn't run into L as I can't get them at local shops. But I think I would have savoured them rather than virtually inhaled them
I think the trouble was that I had already left with the intention of syhopping before we saw her. Perhaps I have to restrict buying of unhealthy foods....have a kind of contingency plan for situations like that?


Thanks very much for your response Mallie