Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

silenceBROKEN · Post by **silenceBROKEN** » Wed Mar 15, 2006 5:16 am

--I feel like I'm failing every time that I cut and don't need stitches. It's my goal. And I've never met it. I won't be satisfied until I do. But I'm terrified that I'll enjoy it too much and never go back.

kittyinthemiddle · Post by **kittyinthemiddle** » Wed Mar 15, 2006 3:25 pm

*i tell myself that i'm not controlled by them but deep down i know that when it's a choice between my habits and any other aspect of my life, the habits will always come first*

*i don't love my father.*

*I pretend i don't remember people who i know from the past because i know they won't remember me and i don't want them to see how desperate and loser-ish i am. If they do remember me i feel infinitely worse because they've filled a part of their memory with my name when they could have been remembering someone worthwhile.*

*if i lose her i will lose myself. i don't know what to do*

beautiful_facade · Post by **beautiful_facade** » Wed Mar 15, 2006 10:02 pm

{PMs okay}

i think i was raped. How can i ever say aloud i *think* i was raped? The truth is, i don't remember anything other than waking up in his bed with him and him there and i was bruised. i don't feel i am allowed to have these feeling b/c i don't even know what happened.

i still purge and they don't know.

i like having surgery for my si.

If my burns are not grafted, i feel as though i've failed. In the past i have sabotaged the hospital's attempts to heal it in order to get a graft.

If i don't require general anaesthetic to have my cuts stitched, it isn't good enough.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 11:47 pm

comments ok. I think.

I don't want to fail this year. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do with my life. But then, if I do fail I'll kill myself. And I know I won't fail. And I know that every time I si between now and then it's just practise for the main event.

I want to pass. but failing would give me the ultimate excuse.

beautiful_facade · Post by **beautiful_facade** » Sat Mar 18, 2006 3:23 pm

{PMs okay}

i miss size x clothes being too big for me. i hate it when people say i look good now i am at a 'healthy' weight; they mean i am fat.
i always agree with people when they say i was too thin back then; but inside i'm screaming that even then i was still too big. i would give anything to go back and go lower.

Skyeler · Post by **Skyeler** » Sun Mar 19, 2006 7:51 pm

I'm vegan

All I really want right now is a turkey sandwich

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Sun Mar 19, 2006 8:09 pm

if only i could lose weight.... i would't lose much, i'd still be in the normal range for my bmi thingy or whatever... but i binge too much

there, i edited it.

silenceBROKEN · Post by **silenceBROKEN** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 4:11 am

I know that I spend too much time on the computer. But I don't think that there is anything else worthy in my life to dedicate my time to.

black_icegem · Post by **black_icegem** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 9:47 pm

i have a very intense relationship with John Frusciante (in my head, hee hee).
*poss. trigs.*
I am desperate to lose weight but eat until i feel sick, have major binge problems.

I hurt myself the worst i have for 7 years on Saturday morning because I don't know how else to cope.

(sorry if i wasn't meant to post that here)

xanemicroyaltyx · Post by **xanemicroyaltyx** » Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:43 pm

i have been diagnosed with DID.

there. i said it.

Dazzle · Post by **Dazzle** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:02 am

pms ok--

i shoudn't care so much about her..but i do..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

*trigs*

i want to cut..i want to die..i want something..i need something..i can't stay here..i can't be strong anymore..but i can't tell anyone..

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - - -- - --

i'm NOT going to college next year..

~j~

all_alone · Post by **all_alone** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 5:30 am

Whenever I drive, I dream of getting hit by a car and dying... so I can finally die and escape, but my family can think it was an accident. And thinking about my funeral makes me happy.

I know I'm going to fail at everything in my life. I'm looking forward to my first big failure so I can kill myself and have a good reason.

PMs okay.

mephistopheles · Post by **mephistopheles** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 4:46 pm

I don't remember what it's like to be hungry. Or to eat twice a day - or however often it is that you're meant to eat.

I don't like food. It's as simple as that. Why can't you understand that?

maenad · Post by **maenad** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 8:20 pm

Comments welcome via PM

I pretend I am in recovery from anorexia and trying really hard but actually I am failing at my ED and not trying hard enough.

I eat vicariously through others.

I cause all my own illnesses.

I have nothing to say to my CPN.

I resent my therapist when she takes time off sick.

I suspect people of lying a lot.

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 8:29 pm

Have you ever took notice of this line in a song?

I don't want to die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

self-explanatory to why im posting that here.

RG · Post by RG » Tue Mar 21, 2006 9:11 pm

I am trying so hard to dig myself out of this depression and stuff but I have the fear will nobody care when I am better? Am I crazy for thinking that way?

silenceBROKEN · Post by **silenceBROKEN** » Tue Mar 21, 2006 9:44 pm

I cannot stand cheaters. But I feel so unloved, that I'm considering cheating.

LexieK88 · Post by **LexieK88** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 3:26 am

I'm so confused right now, nothing seems to make sense. The worst thing is, I can't even talk to anybody except for on here. If I could then I think it would help because maybe they could help me sort things out. But I can't because then he would go to jail. I broke it off about 2 weeks ago. I'm just trying to move on but I don't really know how to do that. At first I thought I still wanted to talk to him but now I think it might be better if I didn't see him or talk to him anymore. I don't know what to do. AHHH!! Wanna know my biggest, deepest, darkest secret ever? I slept with a married man 5 times. I am so sorry and ashamed for it now. The worst part is I see him and his wife and kids every week, sometimes more than once. I've never said that before. I've beat around the bush about it on here before but that is the first time I said it. The reason he'd go to jail is because its statutory (spelling?). But just for the record, he didn't rape me. It was my choice so I don't consider it statutory but everyone else would. Man, why did I make such a stupid, stupid decision!?!?!?!?!?

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:52 am

I want to be thinner so much but I continue to eat when I'm not hungry. It's not even that I want the food, I go into the kitchen, am not hungry, can't even find something that I like, tell myself that I shouldn't be eating because that will make me fatter not thinner, and then eat anyways and feel more gross afterwards and then have to hurt myself. And I was never hungry in the first place so that was just stupid of me.

hopefully i didn't put any bad, unpostable things there....

~BrokenGlass~ · Post by **~BrokenGlass~** » Thu Mar 23, 2006 12:03 am

i understand why she did it and i will never forget her or stop loving her but i don't think i will ever be able to forgive her for leaving us.

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

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