the boy *si

[Unleash the Bats]

theres a boy, N, hu i was friends with from the time we were 12. theres always been an attraction between us, and wen we were 15 we started going out. slept together just after id turned 16. 2 weeks later, he goes on holiday and sleeps with someone else. my heart was broken, and i reverted back to the only coping method i have, si. he knew id done it before, but i think he thinks i was over it, but i never was.

about a year ago, i started talking to him again, because we go the same way to college and ignoring him on the tube takes way to much energy.

about a month and a half ago he says to me he wants to sleep with me again.

i said no, i didnt think i could trust him again.

bad news, im falling again.

i dont no what to do, and this confusion that is forever in my brain is so frustrating. i used to love him, and i know he used to love me, but i dont want to leave my heart to get battered again.

and then today im on the way home, and i see him with another girl. and im jealous.

only problem is, he's not like other guys. he's THE guy, you know.

im so confused, any thoughts... i dont want to resort to the old fall back plan.

[maenad]

Does he understand how he hurt you before and accept it was wrong? People can change I don't believe 'Once a cheater always a cheater' but you know you need to find reasons/evidence to trust him again if you are going to.

I know what it's like having the 'he's THE guy' feeling. But you'd be amazed how it can go away.

If you're feeling jelous seeing him with another girl, maybe by going back to him you're setting yourself up to feel like that more intensly more often - and that will not be a life of fun.

Maybe you should see if he wants to be with you without sleeping with you for a while- if he's worth being with you'll have a lot of good times together, and if not maybe you'll see where his heart really lies and save yourself a battering emotionally.

[Unleash the Bats]

thank u