How do I explain?

paintedblack · Post by **paintedblack** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 1:37 am

Before I get started let me say I love my friends. They're fantastic people and quite a few of them are aware of my problems and struggle with SI and depression. However I've recently had quite a few of the ones I'm closest to move further away, and I've been in good spirits, social, so I have made a few new friends.

Lately I've been feeling pretty down, and I haven't felt up to doing much of anything. I manage the basics [working, cooking, cleaning...] but I don't feel like doing much else besides hiding out on the internet or in books and movies. My close friends realize this happens every now and then and are really very supportive of me and let me be anti-social. They say 'call me if you need me' and then check in on me occasionally, but really just let me be alone.

However, my new friends keep calling and each time they do I feel like not answering the phone. One in particular who is a regular social butterfly won't stop pressuring me to hang out, and calls at least a couple times a day. I've stuck with my decision and made it clear I don't want to go out each time they ask even though I feel horrible turning them down. I honestly don't feel up to it, and I can already feel how urgy I'd get being out in those situations. I don't want to put myself there.

The problem is, I'm pretty sure they're starting to feel offended by my not joining them. I don't want to offend them, but I just need some space. I don't like having to put a false happy face either. How do I turn them down without further hurting their feelings? Should I just suck it up and go once or twice? I really don't know.

[Edit: He won't seem to take a general 'well this is how I am sometimes' as an answer.]

Sorry if this is rather long and rambling, I really needed somewhere to talk about it. It's been bothering me for a solid week now. I feel pretty badly for just wanting to be left alone.

Also I hope this is in the right place on the board, because I'm still new and figuring it all out. Thanks.

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:14 am

you could lie, not that this is the moral and ethical thing to do... but you could lie and say you weren't feeling well/had mono or something that would explain

or you could say you were really tired...? I've never had that particular problem so I'm probably not much help, sorry

paintedblack · Post by **paintedblack** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:37 am

I guess I'm not really looking for an answer, just somewhere to complain and just wishing there was an answer.

I've tried telling him a few things, but he's really not very understanding at all and it's frustrating.

Thanks for the reply though, it means a lot.

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:39 am

well, complain away more if you want.

people can really be assholes sometimes

paintedblack · Post by **paintedblack** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 3:52 am

Thanks.

Yes, they can. It's really sad when they are, too.

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:02 am

Hope things go better with your friends

paintedblack · Post by **paintedblack** » Thu Mar 16, 2006 4:40 am

Thanks. Me too.

Maybe I'll find a good enough excuse to get him to leave me alone for a while. lol

bus

How do I explain?

How do I explain?

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