***trigger***
I have almost 9 months cut free and I think I might have thrown it all out the window last night... I have been really triggery lately, and I kinda lost it last night in the car. I was driving to rehearsal and I was like fuck it. Who cares if I SI again. I had the strongest urge since I stopped last year. I didnt have my tools with me, so I had to make do. I scraped my arm several times, but I could break the skin very much. I didnt actually draw blood, but it seemed to do the trick for a while until I could distract myself with rehearsal. I still have the scrape marks pretty vivid in my arm and they hurt when I bump them etc. Does this count as SI??? I know people usually talk about my intent.... But I dunno if it is even valid since I wasnt able to draw blood... Please let me know what you think.
~Megan
does this count??
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Scatterbrain
- bus conductor
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does this count??
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
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Green Beauty
- forum moderator emeritus
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- Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2005 12:58 pm
- Location: Greater London Age: 27
You do not have to bleed in order for it to be self harm. You have not thrown anything out of the window, you still have those nine months behind you. No matter what you do still be proud of that. It hasnt ruined anything. Just learn from it, and continue to grow.
Omnia vincit amor
Member of the Welcome wagon
Shh be quiet, You might piss somebody off
Proud member and loyal spoon of OATS - Oldies Against Text Speak
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam
Skipping and a jumping, In the misty morning fog with, Our hearts a thumpin' and you, My brown eyed girl
Hey there... I'd agree with Green Beauty and say that no matter if it *counts* or not, you've still got nine months, and counting...
Not to say that it isn't incredibly difficult to see that after you've just slipped, or maybe slipped. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone can tell you for sure whether or not it counts, because it all depends on your perspective. I think the main thing is that if you see it as a slip, to see it as one slip and not as falling back into the routine or thinking it's all over. It sounds like you've been doing really well, and that's something to be very proud of.
Take care,
rin
Not to say that it isn't incredibly difficult to see that after you've just slipped, or maybe slipped. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone can tell you for sure whether or not it counts, because it all depends on your perspective. I think the main thing is that if you see it as a slip, to see it as one slip and not as falling back into the routine or thinking it's all over. It sounds like you've been doing really well, and that's something to be very proud of.
Take care,
rin
"Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around" -vanilla sky
"There's got to be a change I'm sure
Today was just a day fading into another
And that can't be what a life is for..."
-Counting Crows
"There's got to be a change I'm sure
Today was just a day fading into another
And that can't be what a life is for..."
-Counting Crows
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TainTeD Xx gRAcE
- meeting the neighbors
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If you even have to ask yourself the question on whether it was self harm or not, I think you know the answer. You didn't ruin your 9 months, youstill have them. You can have 9 more and it will be a year and a half with only a slip. Slips are okay. They will happen no matter what....
Be Safe and dont fall back into regular habit because you just had one little slip.
Take care.
Be Safe and dont fall back into regular habit because you just had one little slip.
Take care.
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