Things Left Unsaid *LA*

broken_words · Post by **broken_words** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 7:42 pm

Branden- You don't know how much it hurts to know that you lied after i gave you A MILLION AND FIVE chanced to tell me the FUCKING truth. Well...hey at least we only kissed huh? But what about those words that healed me? What happen to those? Did they all dissappear????????????

Mel- Stop bitchin and call me...i'm sorry that i didn't call you back...but you told me you were gonna call me back ... so DO it. And thanks for helping me out that night....hahaha YOU DIDNT and you left me hanging!!!

Jae- stay out of me and brandens bussiness you jerk...your only making things WORSE and i can't handle worse okay!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Chels- you deserve every word that people call you now....and the sad part it you know it...but your too busy fucking your boyfriend to realize your FUCKING DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brittany- I HATE YOU AND ALL YOUR LIES!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND....YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT FRIENDSHIP MENT HUH?? WELL FUCK YOU!

Skyeler · Post by **Skyeler** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 12:38 am

stop.flirting.with.me.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 6:19 pm

i wish i could fix all the wrongs ive done to you all. i wish i could erase that you'd never met me and take all your problems with me that way things would get better for you.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 5:50 pm

myself: ur a stupid fat pathetic ugly bitch...u should never have been born....you should be dead already...why the fuck are you still here.

Catylyx · Post by **Catylyx** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 7:59 pm

Daniel: ....why do i still love you?.......please please contact me...i'm scrambling for support....and you were there for so long.......

Sam: ...i don't know how long its going to take you........but i know i won't be able to make it.......i'm sorry you feel this way..and i'm sorry your so fucking stubborn.

Rick: I. FUCKING. HATE. YOU. and like i said in bartlesvile...I. WANT. YOU. TO. FUCKING. DIE. stop fucking trapping my mom!! You've fucked us over too much! leave us the fuck alone!!!

rachel: oh god......please please be alright.....i love you so much.......please. I'll catch you this time i swear...i may not be stable at the moment but i'll shred my heart before i would fail you.

wade: DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HER.

myself: ...your a fucking failure.

Skyeler · Post by **Skyeler** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 5:55 am

M: I love her more then you because she's a better person, the fact that she's better looking is just a plus.

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:20 pm

S: part of me is semi in love with you even though i know its stupid and thats why some days it kills me to know that you've find your soulmate and i havent. im sorry im a bad person for being like this. i know it does. thats why nothing on earth will ever make me tell you this. because i know that if i ever did you'd run away.

M: i'm worried about you. i dont want you to end up like me. you deserve better.

snayler · Post by **snayler** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 4:59 pm

B:i still love you, i still need you. but i cant let myself need you or love you, because then leaving for the army and relying on myself will be so much harder. i feel like im being a total asshle to you and like im being almost as bad as the people who hurt you in the first place. but i dont know how to tell you that you cant love me without hurting you and i dont know how to tell myself that i cant love you without hurting myself.

T: i know your dad hits you, i cant help you, you need to stand up to him, show him your not as weak as he wants you to be.

T: i love you in a sense but the same as the B thing, and you dont love me.

L: make your mind up with daniel, its gettng so tedious. =\

P: god i wish you were never born, you are such a try hard.

E: im sorry i was only the grandson you wanted me to be, when i know you would rather i told you about whats wrong with me and stopped living behind my mask of smiles.

ME: get over it......

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 6:03 pm

G: I wish that when I told you I loved you I could have said how much. I wish that how much wouldn't scare you away. i wish I could tell you that I never want to leave, never want you to leave. And yes, I know this is crazy.

M and D:i love you both so much....and i miss you. wish wish wish you were here with me - june is still a long way away.

A: hope you're ok sweets. i wish i could say something more to make you feel better at the moment, i'm sorry i haven't been around much this week. Love you muchos and you know it.

P: one more fucking time and i swear that's it. fucking grow up....you're 21 years old and you act 5. i don't really like you either, but have some maturity for goodness sake.

S: thanks for being nicer lately...i really do appreciate it.

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Thu Jan 26, 2006 9:42 pm

only posted a short while ago....but more things to be said

G: do you have *any* idea how much this hurts? i can't tell you, because you'd have no idea, and i'd probably end up hurting the both of us. i'm sorry i'm being abrupt. but i'm hurt and angry and crying....you're not here and i need you. and you said you'd be here. and once again, i'm taking scond place, i'm always second place. and i love you so so much, but sometimes i don't know that you really care

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 6:58 am

D: you are everything to me...i love you so much that i don't even have the proper words to tell you...when i talk to you, you erase all the bad things and i feel like some day maybe i'll get better....i love you

S: I wish i could make you believe me when i tell you how wonderful you are, I wish you could see yourself as I do...because to me you are truly amazing.

My BUS folk: i wish i could help you more...i wish i knew a way to take away all your problems and make things ok again, because you all deserve so much better than this.

Skyeler · Post by **Skyeler** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:05 am

Just because I've been injecting ink into your skin for six hours doesn't mean I feel closer to you.

I really don't want to see the stomach/back/thighs/legs that you're showing off before I tattoo you, my girlfriend has those body parts too... They're hotter than yours.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:36 pm

* - back off. Your overstepping the line here too much. Please see that and back away

ViolinPlayingGoat · Post by **ViolinPlayingGoat** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 9:19 pm

i hope he takes good care of you because you deserve it. and i know i will never get the chance to be in his place. i hope he knows just how lucky he is.

GLaDOS · Post by **GLaDOS** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 1:34 pm

Mom - Fuck you. You have no idea.

ViolinPlayingGoat · Post by **ViolinPlayingGoat** » Fri Feb 03, 2006 5:38 pm

the reason i didnt compliment you is because i couldnt trust myself not to tell you how beautiful you are. and i cant tell you that, much as i would love to.

Catylyx · Post by **Catylyx** » Fri Feb 03, 2006 7:09 pm

Sam: you didn't let me down. I let you down...and i let myself down. Don't blame my downfall on yourself. It was all me...and it will always be my fault.

Brian: i love you....you're so amazing...i'm sorry if i break down...and i'm sorry you'll have to see it. But thank you for nagging...it makes me believe you really care.

Myself: JUST FUCKING GIVE IN ALREADY!! that blood trailing down your skin is the least of your worries. but it would be a nice relief wouldn't it?

Callisto · Post by **Callisto** » Sat Feb 04, 2006 1:05 am

what did I do to make you run away? I thought you would at least have the guts to tell me that you had a problem with me, but you didn't. You just ran away like a coward after spending weeks talking to me, you even talked to me right up until less than a week before you ran away...and even then you didn't hint that I was upsetting you or doing something wrong. You're a fucking coward yknow. I thought you were better than that....I thought that if nothing else I could always rely on you to be straight with me because you always had been no matter what I had told you or what stupid crap I came out with. But I guess I was wrong...I guess you really are as weak as me, you just hide it better...or refuse to admit it one or the other. well if this is the way you want to play it then fine...i shall consider you as no longer a part of my life at all, because thats obviously the way you see me.

flipflopfetish · Post by **flipflopfetish** » Fri Feb 10, 2006 6:21 am

Mom- dude, fuck off. I don't have to have every problems. Just because you think I'm depressed doesn't mean I have to be anorexic. I'M NOT FUCKING HUNGRY. Get it? Don't FORCE me to eat!

S: I hate how u don't even know you're doing this to me

fuzzy ducky · Post by **fuzzy ducky** » Sat Feb 11, 2006 9:05 am

You said you will be there for me, I kinda went into this last week, but you never really said anything about it. You did say you will be there for me (in fact if i remember rightly, you actually promised). Yes, i understand that it will be on your terms and stuff, but can you tell me if you can truly honestly promise to be there for me? Can you handle it? cos truth be told you really dont have any idea what Im going to say or what exactly it is that made me do what I did. Think about it, can you deal with me telling you what I need to tell you about you and what you have made me feel, really honestly? Cos you have told me that before, then when i have broken down or felt shitty, you have just got angry and shouted at me for being childish and hating myself and being stupid. Then we fight which just makes me feel even worse that i felt bad and needed you. You say you will be there, but how do I know that next time I get down you arent gonna just scream at me and leave me on my own, fighting the urges cos you said you will never ever speak to me If I hurt myself again. You want to know why I sneak and lie and manipulate you? Because you do the same to me. You tell me that you really care about me and that I can rely on you to be there, no matter what, you will always help me. Then I ask you for that help and you go fucking crazy with me for even daring to feel shit and I cant tell you what is wrong because it makes you even angrier.

You fucking scare me. You bang around, hammering things, throwing things, shouting and swearing, and then you say you cant fucking bear to see me and literally throw me out of your way in your eagerness to be away from me, you sit there giving out vibes that say to me "FUCK OFF I FUCKING HATE YOU", and yet still want me to believe you care and that you are gonna be there for me. I dont get you. I dont understand. I need to tell you everything to your face. I need to explain my thoughts and fears and problems, and my anger.

I need to know this, cos, and i dont know how many times i need to say this, but, I cant do it on my own. I really have lost count of the times you have said you will be there, and then when i have felt bad you got really pissed at me for feeling like crap. There are lots of things i need/want to say to you that i am going to have to sort out in my head see, and i want to feel like you arent just gonna tell me to fuck off if I try and get them sorted with you.

Being there for someone isnt getting angry and telling someone they are fucking stupid and that they will lose you next time they cut themselves, nor is it telling them to fuck off out of your face just because they dared to feel sad for a few days.

I know you get angry with me for what i say and how i feel, but right now, im making moves to sort it out. I am getting the help you so kindly told me I had to get, as an ultimatum for the guarantee of continued friendship. What was it you said? "Every fresh cut will be another month that you dont hear from me", well Im very sorry if I misunderstand, but that doesnt sound much like support to me. How would you feel if it was the other way round and i did that to you? Besides, you have still been fucking me since I slipped at christmas and you never even noticed that I had cuts. You dont even look at me while you fuck me.

What I did was fucked up and evil, and I dont think I can ever apologise enough, but I think you know that what was said in those messages was just something I thought the other person you thought I was would say to you in that situation. All the ones that threatened you. God, you know fine well it wasnt meant. As soon as you found out it was me you should have realised it was all bull. Cept the bit where you thought I was T. That was the bit where you slipped up. I wrote down what you said to "her" when you admitted that you do love her even though you dont want to be with her. And then you still denied it.

But anyway. Im not even that angry with you. Im just hoping that for once you actually mean it when you say you are here for me. That you actually will be here for me and not wish you could cause me harm next time I get upset.

And I wish that I had the guts to send this email to you, that you would read it and not get angry then just say sorry for all the times you lied. Yeah know I lied and shit too, but I apologised. In 3 years and 8 months you have never apologised for hurting me the way you do.

Please mean it, please be there.

*note to self* stop breathing before its too goddamned late

bus

Things Left Unsaid LA

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

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