Things Left Unsaid *LA*

[flipflopfetish]

JarJar & Clea: Thanks for hanging out with me at lunch even though I'm younger than you guys. You're awesome and sweet and I love you.

[Callisto]

Myself: stop being such a fucking pathetic idiot today....you don't have to let ED beat you for once. you don't have to beat yourself up for being the way that you are. you have a guy who thinks you're perfect exactly as you are right now, stop trying to sabotage that and throw it away just because you're scared of letting go of the past.

[Guest]

Mom-
I love you.

Myself-
Pick yourself up, don't contenue to slide backwards. Its not worth it. You don't want to be that person you were. Its not worth it to give up fighting. Sure its hard, but you have to fight the urges. You can't give up, Kelli wouldn't be very proud of you if you just gave up. If its not enough to just do it for yourself..do it for Kelli. She cares so much, and you promised her that you wouldn't leave her alone in this hell hole. Keep getting better, keep making Kelli proud. Just keep on fighting..keep surviving...

Kelli-
I love you girl...oh, and your m&m's will get to you very soon!

[Callisto]

megan: i missed you over the holidays...you are my greatest friend and the only person i really trust right now. if i ever lost ya i don't know what id do.

[Aly]

Tim: Jeez, I really hope you feel the same way. Although, Ill 100% understand if u dont...I just....I realy do honestly miss u so so much, and I miss what you had...
If only u werent being such an iritating bstard right now. Everyone is getting annoyed by you. Why cant u just act your age? All this pissing about isnt good, and especially not in the last term before our exams. I mean, are you planning on learning anything between now and our exams? Or are u arrogant enough to presume that you will pass without doing any more learning?
I love you to pieces Tim, I do. I think you're fantastic when you want to be, but right now, you're making it really hard to like you. Nearly impossible in fact....I wish you'd just engage your brain....

[GLaDOS]

Mom, just leave me the fuck alone. I don't care about you. I don't care about anyone. I fucking hate people. I don't know why. But I do. Meh. Fucking pathetic.

[Callisto]

Darren: i'm terrified of screwing this up. im terrified of doing something stupid that ruins this and then realising that i was in love with you. i just wish there was some way i could tell you this. because when im with you i don't think anything could go wrong with us, but then i get scared that im deluding myself....and that im just falling back into the same old patterns. but i worry that by trying so hard to do everything different that im not just pushing you away. i wish i knew what to do. i wish i could see the future and know what was going to happen with us. i was so happy when you said that you loved me, but i dont feel it yet....im falling but im just not there yet and i feel guilty for that.

[angelwithapintglass]

we broke up because i hated you and because you made my life hell. i thought i'd left you behind and yet here you are (literally!), still stalking me. i am pitiful of you, more than anything, for feeling you had to try so hard to make me believe that your life is sorted and that you're happy and that you've found "love". to get one thing straight: i couldn't care less what you are doing these days, as long as its far, far away from me. there is only one thing i am angry about - and that's that you thought it was funny. you thought it was funny to dream up this whole thing, because you knew i couldnt not get in contact with you after that. you knew that you could trap me that way, and that way i'd get hurt. but i have news for you - i am not hurt. i am angry, yes, but only because you tricked me. only because someone as small and as insignificant as yourself could warrant that reaction from me. i do still hate you. i do still think you're an asshole. and so does everyone else who ever knew you (and ISNT sectioned) - i have spoken to someone beginning with A about you, recently. i find it shocking that i believed you over him. you really had me going for a while, all those months ago. you are a sick bastard and i'm not afraid to call you that anymore. i am finding myself almost wishing you harm, and that's not like me. as much as i may have hated you in the past, it is only now that i actually want you to hurt. yes, i hurt you before. but it was not premeditated. i never planned on doing you any harm, but as i'm sure you would realise if you were halfway sane (which would be a good thing, by the way), you were worse for me than anyone else in my whole, entire life. there was a moment recently when i thought maybe you really were sorry. maybe you really did realise what you'd done wrong, but no. i was mistaken. you had tricked me once again. you had tricked me into telling you everything i hated about our relationship and why i had to leave it and all the things that made you an ass. as it turns out, however, a part of me always knew it was you. a part of me was using that conversation to let you know everything without that unbearable pressure of being the ex. without the possibility of you turning round and saying "fuck you i'm killing myself". it is not healthy to have that kind of a hold over anyone, least of all a partner, or ex. you are sick. i cant believe you are kidding yourself that you're well. you're still fucked up, you're still finding all this amusing. you probably still want to die on a daily basis and thats why you dreamt this up. well, its not cool.
just let me be.

[Aly]

Tim: oh, please please PLEASE say u feel the same!
I dont know what Ill do if you dont....

[WoundedAngel]

To myself: Stop screwing everyone up, you stupid pathetic bitch. You six year old slut! STOP HURTING PEOPLE!!!

[Chocoboko]

I wish I could word it in a way you'd understand. I wish you'd toss out all your preconceived notions. You say you care about me. You say you hurt that I am hurting. If you do, please shut your mouth and listen with an open mind and open heart. I really mean it when the best way you can comfort me is so simple. Don't judge me as manipulative. I didn't do that to you. I was patient with you. If I was helpful to you, it was because I opened myself up to you and embraced you. I patiently allowed your point of view to become mine. You escaped now because I closed myself off after you hurting me. This would work... if you would give back.

But maybe all along, you lied to me. You were showing affection to another guy. You insist you don't want to get with anyone. Yet, you demand for things to go back to the way they were before. They can't. You know I like you. Stop acting surprised when I tell you that you broke my heart! You should know! Don't beat yourself up over the fact that you hurt me! Accept that you did it and move on! I can't treat your apology as sincere since you keep doing the same thing over and over.

Your life and mine would be a lot easier if you listened.

[Jessica]

JB: WHY DO YOU FUCKING HATE ME?? All I ever did was love you and you can't even stand me. I want to get better, I'm not blaming this on you, I'm sorry for every little thing I ever did that was wrong. But I'm still a good person, I never did anything to hurt you. And you're killing me. You wonder why I do this? Why every girl you ever dated did it? Because you drive them to it, you make us fucking crazy and you don't even care. You'll never find anyone as long as you keep treating us like dirt. Don't fucking yell at me about this, all I wanted was a little support, and you can't even give me that. Please just end it, just get rid of me, before you beat me down to the point where I can't even feel it anymore.

[Catylyx]

daniel: i still love you and i hate it. you hurt me more than any other time...you fucked up royally and you can't return from this! ....i wish i could call you.....but i won't...i wish you had internet so you would return my message.....but you don't....

Sam: i love you more than anything...i always have...i'm sorry daniel still gets to me. and i'm sorry i'm fucking up again....i love you and i'm scared the same thing will happen that happened with Daniel.

Will: thank you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to my mom...thank you so much for never giving up on her when she messed up like she did.

Mike: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

nick: i miss you....

[twistddreamr]

why must you insist in throwing your fucking relationship in my face?!?!



you know it KILLS me, and you want to stay close friends, so WHY DO IT?! Oh, to remind me i'm hopeless, that's why.

[beautiful_facade]

K - you say you want me to talk to you and get mad when i don't and you find out i've hurt myself. Then i try to talk to you and you get upset and get D to tell me to back off! Stop issuing me with ultimatums, i don't need them, if you don't want me to be your maid of honour fine just stop speaking to me as though i am something you just fucking trod in

L - please get back in touch. i know you're having such a rough time, but i want to be there for you, if i pass my test i will come pick you up and we can talk

D - fuck off mister "we look good together...i know you're not ready yet...i can wait..." you'll have a bloody long wait because i am not interested!

S - i love you so much, i am always here for you, in mind and spirit if not in body. You're so beautiful, i'm sorry if you ever think you can't talk to me. YOU CAN!!

G - i'm sorry but you know this can't go anywhere again. i don't know what's going on for you, or how much you're hurting, but remember i care about you even though we can't be together. Think of your girls - you have to look after them. Oh - and please don't guilt trip me. i still think you slept around behind my back.

A - if you did do what i think you did in Airlie Beach i hate you i hate you anyway, how could you do that to me i was young and naive and now i seem to be fucked up for life in that area...you bastard

W - sorry hun...can i have some??

J - for when you're old enough to understand, i love you even if your mummy and i aren't still friends

D - i don't like to be touched when i am feeling bad. i know you're think you're helping - just please help from a distance. Otherwise you're great, you do help when i get up the courge to share

M - i'm sorry i don't treat you the same as D

S@PSDC - you hurt me but i'm sorry. Sorry for the things i do and also sorry some of you don't understand me better. If you did maybe you wouldn't treat me the way you do

C - do they all hate me? Get back in touch. Hope the wedding plans are going well and K is behaving!

Me - sort your fucking head out, never ever put yourself first, they lied and said you'd never get this way if you just let go, but you did, now's the time to stop it. i don't like you. In fact i hate you and i wish you'd go away, but we seem to be stuck together.

Wow. This is so liberating!

Next time the 'me' message will be nicer.

littleangelgirl

[Callisto]

me: i secretly wish that you never really get better....letting go the si is fine but i secretly hope that you never stop having an ED

[Catylyx]

Nick: *real life hug*

the band: *real life hug*

Sam: ....gee...thanks for the message....so something i needed to hear!...by the way....that twinkie that hit you in the back of the head?...it was rachel.

Wade: i swear to god you lay a hand on her ever again and i will stab you in the middle of fucking class!! don't even fucking doubt me on this.

Brian: i like you..you're really sweet. There are a lot of things you might find out if you stick around though...so...i'm sorry if they freak you out. i'll understand if you decide to call off our friendship (or whatever it may become)...

[Callisto]

Darren: i'm scared....scared that i wont be together enough by the time you come to see me....scared that if im not you'll leave me, just like all the others have. scared that if you do it'll only prove that i cant be loved at all....i wish i could tell you this, but i know that if i did you'd prbbly run away.

[twistddreamr]

I love you, I can't take that you're with someone else, and when we get back to school I'm going to completely break down.


I'm breaking down right now...

[flipflopfetish]

the world: stop screwing me over like this. you don't love me even though I love you as much as I am able to. How am I driving you away? Am I that repulsive? Am I as fat and ugly as I see myself as? Am I as annoying as I think I am? Is it wrong of me to try to blame it on disorders and shit? Am I just setting myself up to be let down again?

everyone who has ever been nice to me: thanks for all the nice things, I hope you really meant them. Sorry that I still can't believe you actually like me.

god, if it exsists (sp?): you fuckhead, why did you do this to me? if you were alive, I'd kill you. Even though I shouldn't blame my problems on a higher power, even though I did it all to myself. I still hate you.