how do u cope with rejection and abandonment fears????

[collide]

i just want some advice and support from ppl...my situation is i've been living with this Borderline Personality Disorder since i was diagnosed with it at 22...and one of my main symptoms is fear of abandonment and rejection...which usually makes me SI, try to SU........right now i feel like some classmates of mine are rejecting me...and also, my bf who stayed with me 2 weeks left to stay at his family's for awhile...and now i feel depressed and wanting to SI...

so i just need some support and advice, and also, want to know how ppl cope with these such INTENSE FEELINGS, because for me they are so INTENSE

viewtopic.php?t=89417 (my POETRY)
viewtopic.php?t=88288&start=420 (my PLACE)

COLLIDE

[balletomane]

Hi Collide.

Lately I've been trying to do something every day to deal with instense feelings so that they don't build up over time and become overwhelming. I've found that letting myself cry as much as I would like is helpful.

Sorry I don't have more advice. I struggle with a lot of that myself.

[Tamrick]

I also was diagnosed with BPD and battle with feelings of rejection. The first thing I do is try to remind myself of the reality of the situation - ie be aware that I am feeling rejected and am fearing abandonment. Then I usually have to look at the past issues with the person I think is abandoning me - if its my fiance for example then I remind myself that he hasn't left or even threatened to in 2 years. You also need to figure out why you feel like someone is abandoning you and what you really want - do you want someone to talk to, do you want to yell at someone, are you angry or tired - ie what are you feeling. Finally you can also get a pet or even a teddy bear and just hug it and remind yourself that it won't leave you and the person you think is going to probably won't either. Then do something nice for yourself.

[collide]

thanks for the advice TAMRICK....

u sound like a therapist...i don't know how i can rememeber doing all what you said but it does really make sense...i guess i can print it out and hang it on my wall somewhere...the hard part is believing myself that i am wrong...that i am seeing or percieving the situation as something else....it's so hard that i usually act out before i even consider other options...then if i manage to hang in there...i still worry that i am wrong...and that that translates i am a horrible person because i trusted.....

viewtopic.php?t=89417 (my POETRY)
viewtopic.php?t=88288&start=420 (my PLACE)

collide

[Tamrick]

Oh dear - I think I spent too much time in therapy then

It is hard to remind yourself that. I told my fiance last night that I was feeling rejected and it was very hard to justify it - I told him I knew he wasn't rejecting me rationally, but that didn't stop how I felt. This is the one thing I have struggled with the most - its like my emotions just will not agree with my rational side. Still with a bit of practice it can get better. Good luck.