Who do you talk to about your SI?

~*Star*~ · Post by **~*Star*~** » Fri Oct 28, 2005 11:57 pm

wow i feel lucky...

I speak to Amy and Helen, who are both on bus but i class them as real life friends/everything normal as we didn't meet here, but it was still online. And occassionally another friend called Isaac.

Then my Dan, who is the bestest guy in the world. He remembered 5 months! Not many people would remember that kind of anniversary.

I used to talk to my other dan but we aren't as close anymore, but he still asks me when i see him sometimes.

And also I talk to my counsellor/T lady.

My mum knows but she doesn't count as we've never really spoken about it although i know she is there if i need to.

lvpps · Post by **lvpps** » Sat Oct 29, 2005 6:15 pm

no one really, Ive talked to one friend about it, but she didnt know how to react and it put a barrier between us, just being on here and knowing other people are in the same situations has helped a ton

say · Post by **say** » Thu Dec 01, 2005 7:50 pm

I don't.

My parents know that I SI, as do my close friends, but the only person with whom I ever *really* talked about it is no longer in a position to be that kind of friend to me.

I write about it here. That's all.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Dec 08, 2005 1:59 pm

I dont have anyone to talk to about SI, i wish i could but im scared my friends will leave me if they do because someone else i know in my form SIs and everyone but me seems to have left her

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Thu Dec 08, 2005 10:00 pm

~shattered~ wrote:someone else i know in my form SIs and everyone but me seems to have left her

That's really sad, and I don't blame you for not telling them if that's how they reacted. Maybe they're not the best people to be friends with?

green · Post by **green** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 6:14 pm

No one. My parents, most of my friends, my CPN, my psychiatrist and my GP all KNOW I self-harm regularly. But I just cant talk about it. Its still my silent shame even though it has not been my secret shame for years now.

If my CPN/GP/psychiatrist ask then I will answer their questions but they never really want me to talk about it in length. I probably would if they asked though. I think its mainly the shame thing-- I know some other people are embarassed if I talk about it (ie. most non-MH professionals). If they feel embarassed and uncomfortable talking about it then then that makes me feel its something to be ashamed of.

But now I sound like I'm blaming other people for me not talking about it and that wasn't the essence of this post I don't think.... though I don't know what was!

morning_mist · Post by **morning_mist** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 7:30 pm

I talk to my husband about it. He found out on his own first--it's pretty hard to hide scars when you sleep in the same bed with someone--but since then, we've talked more in depth. I'm glad I told him--I hated keeping it a secret for so long. And he is a wonderfully tender man who can comfort me when no one else can.
On the other hand, every time I seem depressed or even slightly down, he gets worried and doesn't want to let me out of his sight (though of course, that's impossible). He's not possessive in any way--just concerned for my well being.
If I put myself in his shoes, I can understand how hard it must be to know someone you care about hurts herself, and she continues to do so, and there's not much you can do about it.
I think that's why I haven't told anyone else. I don't want other people to bear that burden.

meg0n · Post by **meg0n** » Sun Dec 11, 2005 9:38 pm

well i talk to my friend, if she asks something i tell her, but otherwise i dont talk about it at all.

very rare that i mention it.

acdcrocker1909 · Post by **acdcrocker1909** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 12:51 am

.. I do talk about it with people..

There is Brooke, who I talk about it when ever I need to.. and she's really understanding, and patient with me.. she'll let me rant it out (or cry) and then she'll point out to me gently things i've missed or something that may help me.. in actuality.. she's the first person I ever told..

There is "Mama" .. who at times worries about me a little more than necessary.. but i like having at times, since my own mother never has done that.. Mama's there when i need a parent to talk to .. its really nice to have that..

I used to talk about it with one teach.. until some things happened.. and now I talk to another.. kind of..

Other friends of mine know.. but we dont.. "talk" about it.. its just known..

dani

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 4:11 am

I don't know about other states, but here in Michigan, if a teacher knows a student is causing harm to him/herself or others, and that teacher is in a counseling position (a.k.a. talking to the student about it, or offering advice), he/she is under contract by the state to tell the student's parents. So, that puts the teacher in a bad position, because if someone found out that the teacher was counseling a student about SI and hadn't told the student's parents, the teacher could lose his/her job and/or face legal consequences.

What's the situation with that in other states?

acdcrocker1909 · Post by **acdcrocker1909** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 4:19 am

Hm, never thought about that.. but for me i think "since when has my school district ever obeyed the law"

.. the one knew i was struggling with it.. we dont really talk anymore...

the other one.. he just "knows".. and told me to read something next time i feel like that.. and he knows it was something i dealt with, since at the moment i've been good

beautifulgarbage · Post by **beautifulgarbage** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 5:19 am

I was falling into pieces, so I went to my mom, took off my clothes and showed the scars to her.

I told my boss. Because we work with mentally-ill people, he knows what it's like. I talked to him vaguely about si. I was leaving my job, going insane, and told him everything. I was crying as hell. He's awesome. <3

I told my 2 friends, but they don't really seem to want to talk about it, I don't blame them. What are the supposed to do or say?

And I told another friend, who seems to care very much and who helps me with everything.

That's it. And it's quite a lot, actually. But I don't talk about it to them anymore, it's like... It's there but that's it. I told them what was happening when I first started si.

AngelsTears · Post by **AngelsTears** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:13 am

currently i dont talk about it, only on bus but one ex friend knows tho i dont talk to them regually anymore and a couple randoms when i was drunk. its not so much people knowing that i do it i just dont have the gutts to discuss it with anyone...

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 10:26 pm

I have a lot of respect for people who can discuss SI openly with others. Not just SI, but any emotions, problems, or emotional issues. I know how hard it is.

toXic · Post by **toXic** » Sat Dec 17, 2005 9:26 pm

i've only actually talked about it with a few people... close friends that i trust. it's embarassing when a guy my size starts crying lol....a lot of people know about it though.

aimee929 · Post by **aimee929** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 5:28 am

This is always a touchy subject for me...

There are a handful of people in my life who know about my SI. They include: my therapist, my psychiatrist, a writer mentor of mine, and 4 of my closest friends-- Emily, Frances, Hunter & Jen.

I have been in therapy for 6 years, and I never told my first doctor and pdoc about SI. I was scared they would throw me in the hospital. They probably should have. But I found my new doctors in April 2003, and I decided then to come clean about it with them. It has really changed the whole course of my therapy. My doctor doesn't overreact about it, though we do probably spend at least half of our time talking about SI-- which has also been going on for 6 years.

The writer mentor, Martha (I am also a writer), is a very trustworthy person & showed me several years ago that she could handle hearing about depression anxiety, SU attempts, etc.

Often, with my friends, I will sort of "feel them out" in regards to whether or not I think they can handle knowing that I SI. Some of my friends know about my depression, but not my SU attempt. They know I am in therapy, but they don't really know why. Several other friends of mine do not know about my SI. I have thought of telling them, but am very hestitant. I also don't think everyone needs to know.

I will NEVER tell my parents or anyone in my family.

My friends who know are in a group all their own-- Hunter has been there for me since the beginning of my mental health problems 6 years ago. She has shown me that she can deal with me when I am SU & that she does not freak out over hearing about SI. I had another friend who did freak out & told me over and over again that I belonged in the hospital-- we are not friends anymore.

I told Frances around this time last year, and she took it pretty well. I think it freaked her out a little, but she can handle hearing about it. Still, I avoid talking about it with her if possible.

Emily & Jen also SI, and this is how I came to tell them. Sometimes we do trigger each other-- not on purpose-- but mostly they are very supportive and we can listen to each other without needing explanations for everything.

Telling people about SI is a fine line to walk... for nearly 3 years, the only person who knew about SI at all was Hunter. I am feel better that I have more people to talk to about it... but it is still this huge secret I carry around with me.

I hate myself for getting into this.

Aimee

Green Beauty · Post by **Green Beauty** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 7:02 pm

People on bus, and my girlfriend.

Catylyx · Post by **Catylyx** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 8:14 pm

bus people of course.

as well as my friend nick (whom i dragged over to bus as well)... me and him help each other all the time the best we're able. We kept each other sane during school....and he's the reason i'm still alive. i love that boy.

..me and sam kind of talk about it. i tell him about when i would do it and stuff......but its kind of a one sided convo.....but he's helped the best he's able..and tried to understand. thats what matters. love him ^_^

amerylis · Post by **amerylis** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 8:57 pm

most of my friends know I SI and i talk to some of them about it

xx

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 9:48 pm

Have any of you had someone, the ONE person you thought you could trust, just quit talking to you? After he/she helped you a little, and said nothing about something being wrong? How did you deal with it?

bus

Who do you talk to about your SI?

Teachers

Who is online