after

[dani]

what had happened just before?
I made an insensitive comment to a nurse about a patient and the nurse called me out on it... "If the baby has that syndrome he'd be hosed/toast (i can't remember exactly what i said)"

what were you thinking and feeling?
that I was a horrible and insensitive person to say such a thing about someone I'm supposed to be taking care of.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I felt so guilty and awful like I needed to be punished, I knew I was going to have to interact with this patient and the nurse for the next 12 hours and I felt overwhelmed thinking about how I was going to handle it.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
well, i could have not made the insensitive comment... i could have addressed the fact that i made the comment right after i said it and identified it as inappropriate, which may have made me feel better. I could have avoided being alone afterward when i knew i would be tempted to cut

were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
lack of sleep... i'm a resident, i was on a 30 hour shift at the hospital. there's no way to get out of my work to rest.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
i didn't try anything else

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
calling my husband and talking about it, distractions

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
i'll just try to remember not to give into the urges, stay in a public place, call my husband, even if it might make me cry during work

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
i feel okay i guess, i was really tired... i think the nurse realized it, because she was really nice the rest of the night

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
yes, i'll recognize it when i'm feeling like i need punishment again.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
1. call my husband
2. play with silly putty
3. draw on myself with a pen[/b]

[ChaseThisLight]

It sounds like you have a lot of good ideas on how to avoid SIing in the future. I know for me sometimes it's difficult to implement those distractions, but they really do make a difference. Don't get down on yourself and take care of yourself.

notmardy