my friend needs quiet si coping skills

katiemichelle · Post by **katiemichelle** » Tue Nov 15, 2005 1:51 am

Hello all...my good friend is 18 and his twin brother suffers from epilepsy. As of recently, they had to relocate near a specialist, take up home-schooling, and watch his brother closely. He is very close to his brother, and every time he has a seizure, he feels so bad, that he ends up cutting. The bad thing is, is that he is having a hard time coming up with coping skills, because when his brother does seize, he has to stay in the room with his brother for a while, and thats usually is when his brother is asleep, & thats when he cuts. So, I was wondering if you guys & gals could help me help a friend and give me some good ideas for some quiet coping skills, that could help him release this anger and tension and guilt, but at the same time, wont interrupt his resting recovering brother. I would greatly appreciate, and he would too...thanks so much!
xoxo-katie

oneWayOneLifeOneLove · Post by **oneWayOneLifeOneLove** » Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:01 am

Hi there
Some of the things that i find helpful to avoid urgers are:

Snapping a rubber band on my wrist

Writting

reading

hug a pillow

hyperfocucusing

counting to 100

squezing an ice cube

Play the 15 minute game (say you can't cut for 15 minutes, and when the time is up if you still have an urge to si, start again)

those are some of my favorite things to do to avoid SIing hope there helpfule

look_at_me_now · Post by **look_at_me_now** » Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:02 am

Hi there. I'm so sorry for your friend and his brother....that sounds like such a sad situation for them both to be in.

As for quiet coping skills that i can think of --> journaling, listening to music on head phones, drawing, ripping up paper, drawing red lines on his arm instead of cutting, reading a favorite book, meditation, creating a safe spot in the room that he is usually in with his brother where he will not SI.........

I'm sorry if these werent helpful!

Take care!

Me.

dbms · Post by **dbms** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 3:13 am

Writing, reading, music, crossword puzzles are all immediate distractions that can help. Of course there is freezing you tools or otherwise making them hard to get at. While I don't do it often I have used safer alterntives rubber band, wasabi to deflect the urge long enough to have the desire to cut pass.

Has you friend thought about talking to a counselor? it sounds like he could use some longerterm coping strategies to deal with how he is feeling and get at the underlying reasons for his SI. It must be very hard for him to watch his brother go through this. I would expect that the feelings must be pretty difficult to bear on his own.

Take care...

lostchild · Post by **lostchild** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 11:38 pm

to be honest, he doesn't need to be with his brother in the immediate aftermath of a fit.... if he knows how long it is til his bro is back to normal, maybe , as long as the brother is safe, he can take a walk, get away from it for a bit til all is back to normal. as long as the brother is safe, if it is hurthing him to be with him, spend a few minutes away from eveything and come back to it better able to cope

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:31 am

I think journaling in his situation might help to release his feelings, and then when he gets the chance he could rip up the pages, or burn them or something. Or, he could challenge himself to see how long he can go w/o cutting. Say, start at 15 minutes, then when that's up, go for another 15, and another, etc. Eventually the urge will pass.

steady hands · Post by **steady hands** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:28 am

play doh. especially if you get a bunch of colors. if kept me off SI for over a month. it's good stuff.

theboldeditalics · Post by **theboldeditalics** » Wed Nov 23, 2005 10:10 am

gretchen makes me smile hahaha

bus

my friend needs quiet si coping skills

my friend needs quiet si coping skills

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