Parents and SI

dramaqueen90 · Post by **dramaqueen90** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 7:47 pm

Hi, my parents know i SI but they dont think its bad, how can i tell them that it is bad, should i just wear short sleeved t-shirts or tell them? im scared they;ll go mad when they see my arms, what shall i do??? Help please!! thanks

Aly · Post by **Aly** » Sun Nov 13, 2005 8:17 pm

Hi,

WHat I'd do is just sit them down and tell them about how bad it is, and if they still seem reluctant to believe you, then you can show them. I think, tbh, it would be a bit....I dunno, harsh on them to be just presented by it with you in short sleeves. It would be better to tell and then show as far as I can see...

Im sure they wont be cross. And if they are, it'd be more at themselves for not realising sooner, even if it came across as being cross at you.

Just remember to keep calm and explain. The chances are that they'll have had no previous experience of si or anything like it, so it's important to explain it properly...

Also, explain that you are trying to stop and you want them to understand how bad it is so that they can help you stop in a beneficial way. Dont let them believe that you're doing nothing to help yourself...

Good luck, thinking of you
PM me if needs be

Take care
Aly xxx

look_at_me_now · Post by **look_at_me_now** » Tue Nov 15, 2005 4:12 am

Hi!

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time.

Perhaps could u tell another trusted adult, guidance counseler, teacher, older friend, relative...that could explain to your parents more in depth about how bad ure SI is? Or maybe you could write them a letter with information about SI on it and about how bad it has gotten instead of showing them which may shock them more?

I dont have any advice other than that. Good luck to you!

Me.

dbms · Post by **dbms** » Thu Nov 17, 2005 3:00 am

I agree just letting them find out by seeing your arms would be pretty alarming. That method may not be fair to you or to them. I would expect that this a time you would most like thier acceptance, support and help so I would bring them along gently.

Sitting them down and explaining what it is you would like to talk about. Why you are telling them and how they can best help will probably make it easier for them and for you to get what you need. I didn't think about or do these things with my wife when my SI became apparent and that made it much harder for both of us in the end.

Good luck and take care...

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:32 am

Try talking to them, explaining. Showing them could shock them and they might react badly without having time to think it over.

Nat90 · Post by **Nat90** » Sun Dec 04, 2005 11:20 pm

i had this problem

my parents knew i sh, but didnt relise how bad, and we were goin on holiday 2 weeks time

in the end i sat them down and ecsplined it was a lot worsse than they probably relised,

in they end i agreed i would show them my arms and then leave immediately, so i didnt have to see or hear there reacsion

i did, i rolled up my sleeves shpwed them my arms and walked out, so i didnt have to deal with any reacsion

it went ok, though there were lots of tears from me

lela · Post by **lela** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 8:25 pm

Boy, I think Nat90's idea was excellant!! As a Mother I know I would have appreciated some overemoting/hysterical time with my husband. Yet it didn't happen that way. I think many hurtful things are said when someone is shocked, confused, angry, and afraid like we were. It would have been so much better for my son not to have to hear what amounted to a lot of crap. After some venting and thinking time it would be easier to support and show our neverending love for him--instead of condemning what he does. Whatever your decision, I hope your folks are able to let go of the scars and see only you, their daughter.

disastercake · Post by **disastercake** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 9:49 pm

Nat's idea is really good. I hope things are working out for you.

_MessedUp_ · Post by **_MessedUp_** » Mon Feb 06, 2006 5:48 pm

Parents also sometimes have a bit of a denial phase, its often hard to face how bad things are. I wish i had talked to my parents, instead i ended up ODing which was stupid and hurtful, more so than waht i was doing. Since then it has taken time, but talking to them is often the best way to get it out there. Maybe have some resources about self0injury (BUS? etc) so then they can see for themselves what exactly is happening and maybe help them understand it more? They might be upset, but that won't change how they feel, at the end of the day they should love you whatever happens. hope things work out ok

take care

_MessedUP_

HSUgirl · Post by **HSUgirl** » Thu Feb 09, 2006 10:27 pm

Well you could do like me and write your mom or parents a letter. And tell them you need to talk.

bus

Parents and SI

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