does anyone do this? telling stories in therapy....? instead

[collide]

ok there is some spoiler for SI/SH


ok this is what i find happens to me a lot because my life is pretty chaotic...especially since my moods fluctuate too easily and anything can trigger something for me to react impulsively...like start walking in the middle of the road (lately that's what i've been doing)...rather than SI...though i still SI if i am at home...but if i am out an about...and i get over my head sometimes walking in the middle of the road or getting close to when the BART TRAIN is barrelling near....like near the edge....then of course i get hospitalized easily...JULY was on a 5150 and was able to get out of that one, and not sent to the PSYCH WARD

um...so usually in therapy...i end up telling stories in my therapy sessions...of how my week has been...rarely there is time for doing any therapy work...sometimes there is...but like i said it's more story telling...i find that i need the therapy obviously...it does help to talk about my crappy life to someone who will listen with unbiased feedback and suggest i try this and that next time...but i don't know...

sometimes maybe i feel like i am using my therapist to see how far i can go until she dumps me...like maybe in my stories she will see how dangerous i am and just get rid of me...like the other therapists and psychiatrist and even a FREAKIN doctor have dumped me...i am more secure with her not dumping me...i've had her as a therapist for 4 years about now...and i remember the first 2-3 years i was constantly hostile and demanding if she was gonna dump me and doing a lot of testing, not really out of my choice, but threats to hurt or kill myself because i was scared if i trusted her the same pattern will happen, i would get dumped...i haven't asked her if she was going to dump be since 2004 i still feel sometimes she might....i don't know...this post was about story telling now it's about fear of my therapist dumping me....i thought i was pretty secure, i guess i am not that secure yet...there is still some fear, though not a lot...

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[marshmallowfluff]

Okies

Well you tell her alot of stories of what you've done in your week, and you've been seeing her to 4 years now so it's unlikely thats she's going to dump you! If she was i think she'd've done it by now

I tell my therapist alot of stories too, but thats mainly about whats happened in my past. I found she can be quite patronising too which annoys me quite alot!! And usually i'll sporadically go off on a rant and start talking about something completely unrelated to the subject we're actually talking about. She'll look at me as if to say "why the hell did you tell me that?" cos it'll be summit tiny that i need to talk about or whatever and i dotn think she really understands uts more the little things trhan the big that depress me.

You could always ask her if its ok to talk about your week, cos' thats therapy its self, you know like talking about how you feel and what you've been doing (such as the car thing about self harm)

Anyway good luck and take care of yourself
xx

[collide]

well yeah i still feel from time to time though it's been 4 years i've been seeing her that she's still gonna dump me sometime....like i've been freakin out this whole week cuz she's gone on vacation and i feel pretty desperate and freaked out when she goes on vacation...i know it's her right...but i just feel that way so bad...as far as story telling i feel like it just makes me feel like i am so FUCKED up because i'm always telling stuff that happened like oh i cut, then later this happened and then i almost oded...or i felt like it, then the next day this..then i almost did something to end up locked up...or i ended up being locked up this past weekend...u know??????????????? i don't know.........

[plantt]

not really out of my choice
--i think it is your choice it's your life. your responsibility. i'm not saying it's a thought-out choice or that it'd be easy to do things differently.

if you were in your therapists position what would you do? how would you respond?

[aimee929]

Collide---


I actually spend the majority of my therapy sessions telling stories of what's going on with me. I've been with the same therapist since May 2003, and she is great. She is really optimistic and I am so not, so it's good for me. My doctor knows that I have very few people in my life I can tell everything to, and so she lets me vent.

She tends to use my stories as a starting ground for other therapy work. Like if I cut in the past week, we'll talk about what I was doing before, after, the whole process so that we can work on ways to avoid cutting the next time. She's helped me come up with a lot of other coping strategies. They don't always work, but they have many times.

Sometimes we'll talk only about the past, but mostly my doctor (who I see once a week or if I'm doing well, once every other week) helps keep me in check. I tried to commit SU 5 years ago & ever since, we have figured out that when I go downhill, it tends to happen VERY quickly. So seeing her helps me prevent that from happening.

I wouldn't feel bad at all about telling stories... after all, therapy is partly there to give you tools to live the life you have NOW.

Good luck.

love,
Aimee

[VowsOfSadness]

when you say "tell stories" I assume that is you tell about the week, not lies that you make up kind of stories?

I think maybe your doctor thereapist may already know about your attempts to test her and by staying is trying to challenge these thoughts and show you that she will be constant.

But that is IMO

[collide]

yeah my story involves all the crap, ups and downs...mostly downs each day of the week...so when i see my therapist it feels like i'm so pathetic cuz yeah it's true part of therapy is talking about feelings and stuff like better ideas to cope, react, etc....but i find because i have so much always going on...it's like i don't have enough time to spend talking with her/ listening to her help me....i don't know...

[fading away]

I always used to lie to my therapist, because she was stupid and did'nt even get it that I was lying.

Then i changed to a better more intelligent therapist, (psychiatrist)

The first one was just a counsellor, who knew nothing to help me.

Now I am generally very honest.
I do tell stories though about my life etc.
Gretchen

[Naiia]

My suggestion: Go in next week, and before you start talking about your week (which I think can be quite important, too) tell her that you're concerned about this, and talk to her about it. I really think that will help a LOT. Anyway, it's worth a try, right?

[collide]

hey NAIIA...i did tell my T that forget when, sometime after i wrote this...it just seems like so much CRAP is going on in my life that i'm not getting much therapy or help with my issues....cuz it'll be like LAST WEEK i had to tell her about Rape Emotional Flashback, ED...Moodswings, and Depression that's going on too much...now this week, it's gonna be about HOSP...plus Depression, and Moodswings...

viewtopic.php?t=88288 (my PLACE-everyone invited)
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[ghoulie13]

i do not make up stories but i do tell alot of them..

i never want to talk about me..