Things Left Unsaid *LA*

[(*Haven*)]

D ~ I'm sorry. For everthing. For the way I am, the way I act, the things I say and do. I know as a therapist you can handle a lot. But I want to protect you. I want to protect you from me. From what I know I can do to myself. Because I know that it hurts you. And I know that if I attempt again....Well, it could work. And I can't work with you and have you go through that. I want to do it, badly. But because of you I can't. I have to quit seeing you first. I have to quit talking to you and I have to get you out of my life. And then I can do it. I can do it without the risk of hurting you. Because it will take you longer to find out. Plus, if I quit, you won't have to go through all that legal stuff, and that's so much of a protection. You'll be okay. You'll make it. You're so strong and I wish I could be like you. But I'm not good enough. And things will be better when we aren't working together anymore. You'll see. You'll understand.

[flossie]

m... why did you leave us nobody should ever leave their kids...i dont like you very much...i pretend

d.. i know you tried, it wasn't enough but you did your best... thankyou

m...i know you don't really love me anymore it's just easier to stay...where did it go? I am gutted

m.... you are my entire world but i am scared for you


e... you are my angel...my beautiful girl

[Green Beauty]

Dave please for the last time leave her alone, she is not interested, she is with me. She does not even like you, understand that. I don't like you. Please i am asking you nicely stay away. You are pushing me to the edge, one day i may end up doing something i will regret, stay away. Please.

[(*Haven*)]

D ~ I know we just talked...And the things I said...Some of them...Were things I always wanted to say to you. But in the context of our talk, they were towards other people. I need you to know that you're included in that. I don't know if you realize it....But you are. You are.

[marshmallowfluff]

n - i hate you. I mean, i HATE you. My friend once said to me how can you hate someone so much you want them dead? believe me, you CAN. I hate it when you hang off me. I've told you not to touch me, not to want to hug me all the time. You told me once "well sarah, gay people get closer" yeah its true but you get troo close. I tell you not to touch, you do it anyway, i tell you not to hug, you do it anyway. It's discusting when you kiss me, and i want that to STOP. ive told you time and time again to STOP, but you dont. Then i sent a mass email to everyone on my contacts with the link to my site. I sent it to you - what a mistake. You read my story, and you freaked out. at school you kept askign me question after question, it seems you dont know the word stop. I asked you to stop asking but you didnt, i didnt answer so you asked over and over. Then what i hate the most, is you asked if one of the people was michaela. I didnt tell you the truth cos i knew you'd tell her. Then we fell out, you won't leave me alone on msn. You send me messages all the fucking time and i hate it!!!!!!! At school you stare at me. When i hated ewhen we were friends, is you'd stand with michaela in the morning and slag me off, then come and hang off me at break and lunch. Just looking at you makes me feel sick. You're so annoying!

A - I love you to pieces, even my mum said you're one of the best friends i ever had. The thing is, i neve tell you anything becayse after the hannah thing i knew you'd go and tell miss flowitt or jenny. On wednesday, i told you on msn how i felt. I was honest with oyu, told you i couldn't cope with school and after you read my website, you seemed to understand why. I talked to you about cutting, and you understood so much, you said it was udnerstandable because i had no other way of coping. However, everyday since wednesday you've said to me "you don't know what you;'ve got" thats, true is it? I have less than you think i have. you say "you have so much more compared to everyone else" do i? Do i really, A? No, i dont. I do have ALOT less than you think i do. Now, since you found out, you look at me weirdly, like im from another planet. I'm not. Im human just like you are. Just because i cope differently and have a few problems, it doesn't mean im abnormal in any way. It annoys the hell outta me when you say i'm like i am because of hannah. ITS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH HANNAH!! I HATE IT WHEN YOU SAY THAT!! I do things MY way, and cope MY way, it's not because of hannah that i do it that way! That annoys me so fucking much, it makes me wanna kill myself Then you said you meant i'm like i am because of trying to help hannah. NO.

[balletomane]

(I don't like my roommate)

[toXic]

N - It really fucking hurts me that you don't care about me anymore, like you used to. It hurts me that you can't leave the past behind, and let our friendship flourish again. Make some effort. You just seem to be so happy, and enjoying the fact that I'm not. I wish I didn't care so much about you.

same thing goes for my friend mandi...

[Kaelyn]

r - please hold me... I'm scared and I feel alone.

[kickingmyself]

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

[Aly]

Em: Get it into you're stupid head that IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE! I mean, how stupid can you get? you know that I used to si; you know that I have an abnormally low self-esteem; you know that I have severe 'self-hate syndrome'; you know that I think I need to lose loads of weight (although logically I know I don't). So then, why do it? Why spend every second you are with me laughing AT me, telling me I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm stupid, I'm a crap friend and all that shit? Why keep on telling me that I'm mean and unfriendly when I never do any of that shit to you? Why, after Ive told you I'm having a really bad day, do you say things that I find really hard to deal with on a good day? Why do you get worse when I feel bad? Why can't you learn when enough is? Why can't you see when you've crossed the line? I don't get you Em, for someone who's meant to be clever, you sure act dumb at times.

Please understand that I hate you're behaviour; please understand that it's making choose to hate you; please understand when I say I never want to see you ever again in my life; please understand that sometimes Im not strong enough to choose not to let you're words affect me, please understand that sometimes I choose to let your words bring me down, PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THAT'S YOUR FAULT!

Em, come on, see when the line has been crossed. Like I said, you know that I struggle with my welf-worth, with accepting myself as I am....And yet, knowing that you just try and make it worse. I don't get you Em, you seem so blind to what you're doing. And, y'know what makes it worse? You dish it out so easily to everyone, yet you cannot take any "jokes" about yourself. You turn on the tears. Learn to take it as you dish it out, maybe then you'll curb your insults.
You can say that it's a joke until you're blue in the face, it wont change the fact that it's not; wont change that fact that your words hurt me in such a huge way.

Why can't you let things go?

Why can't you ever get over the clothes I wear? Yes, I wear low cut tops. I have for ages. You will learn to cope with that. It shouldn't really shock you anymore, and even if it does, I've heard all your "jokes" about it, all your comments on it, I DONT NEED TO HEAR THEM AGAIN! Yes, I dress fairly sluttily, but ewhy should that matter to you, if it offends you FUCK OFF OUT OF MY LIFE, it's not like you're indispensible! I wear the clothes I like because I feel comfortable in them. High neck tops make me feel like I cant breathe, they make me incredibly claustraphobis. And as strange as it may seem, I like my boobs. They're probably the only part of me I do like, so yer, I show them off. Big deal! Why does it matter? Wearing tops like I wear makes me feel more confident. So deal with my clothes; I will NOT change them for you. You're so not worth it. You're comments just piss me off, I'm tired of hearing it; Ive heard them all so many times before. So, Cope with my clothes or, seriously, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE! I dont even like you.

Seriously Em, you're going the right way about getting a fucking punch in the face, so change or get away from me.
*
*
*
*
*
*
**Lang**
*
*
*
*
*
*

Edwin: Man, you are such a fucking pretentious bastard "thanks for that little speech, I skimmed some of it...now can I go?" You had your say, you fucking let me have mine you arrogant twat. What makes you think that what fucking think is better than what I do? What makes you think that you're better than I am? You are an utter mother fucker. I dont understand how you pull the wool over so many people's eyes. You are so far up your own arse, I'm surprised not everyone can see what a little twat you are. You are pretentious, arrogant, selfish twat of a person.

Will: I still miss you angel, I always will...I love you

[Chocoboko]

---

Hello there. I hate to break this to you, but I think you are a nasty, nasty, person. You go on and on about how much you care about me. You act like a fucking saint. But you are no different from a rapist. You may call me strange, but to me, it's clear-cut!

I tell you in clear words that something bothers me, but you blatantly ignore it. You accuse me of being selfish, when you are a self-centered witch yourself (despite your air of being a "sweet old woman"). You are no different from a man who keeps "pressuring nicely" for a girl to have sex and not respect her right to say no! Call this extreme, but it works, and it fits you!

You don't care about me. You don't care about others. All you care about is your image. Your pride is wounded at this statement. Why? Because your image is under attack. If you cared, you'd see how your actions hurt me. You'd listen if I tried to tell you. But you blatantly ignore it. Nothing matters to you but your own ego.

---

[what_if]

Its finally ending. Your crusade of manipulation and using people like game pieces is over. I feel proud to have been a part of this actually...a part of your final downfall. I have never wished bad upon anyone...ever....but you are an exception. You make me sick. Take your 'feelings', and shove them up your fucking perverted ass.

[pretty]

Dear Gas man,

Because of you, I didn't go out last night. I really wanted to, but I was tired and knew I had to be up to deal with you this morning.

Because of you, I haven't had enough sleep. I had to set my alarm for a Saturday morning so I'd be up to deal with you.

Because of you I rearranged my life, in small ways but all the same.

Thanks for not turning up. Poop head.

[mephistopheles]

G - thanks for thinking I'm some fucking pill-head who can't even walk around or breathe without being medicated to the gills. Thanks for thinking that I'm the one coping the best with this and then just throwing everything on to me and falling apart. Thanks. I needed to deal with your shit right now, cause I just haven't got enough of my own!

M - stop being so bloody pathetic, we're all in the same boat, but you're the only one who won't even try and deal with it.

S - You bastard. How much effort would it take to just RING ME or even pick up the phone when I ring you? What are you so fucking scared of? You saw me this summer, everything was so much better and now it's all gone to shit again and some of it is actually your fault. I never thought I'd have to rant at you, and look at me now.

Everyone - I can't cope. Do I look like I'm coping? I can't do this again, someone please help me before I crash out again.

--loving this thread.

n

[Blake 1]

can't you see i'm dying here? can't you see that i can't handle anything anymore? can't you see that i need a friend? why are you all pushing me away? can't you see that i have very low self-esteem to begin with? this just makes it worse. you don't see me crying after you ignore me and push me away. you don't see my pain. why won't you just be there for me? you say you are there for me but when i need you, you don't care. you don't want to hear about my problems. you hurt me by inviting me to things that i didn't even want to go to but i was going to go just because i know it meant a lot to you so i was going to go but then i find out that i'm not allowed to go. stop playing mind games with me. i have anough to deal with already. you don't like me cause i'm not like her. you don't understand that i just can't stop si, its just not that simple. you don't have to literally drag yourself out of bed in the mornings and go to all your classes feeling physically sick because you can't control your anxiety. you don't know what its like to be so numb from everything that you can't cry. you don't know what its like living with depression so severe at times that you just want to die. you don't know what its like to have "friends" who ignore you, who just pretend they care about you, who push you away, who just use you.

when i start to open up, which you know is really hard for me and rarely happnes, why do you change the subject? why don't you care? can't you see you're hurting me, or are you just too obsessed with her to care?

[Priceless]

I have so meny feelings for you, but do you even care for me? i hear you are emotionally fucked up with youre ex and stuff, but i just want a chance, please please please please

[snorkmaiden]

M - i'm not ok, i feel like i'm breaking. please hold me, please let me know you love me. i feel like you're so far away at the moment.

[Blake 1]

are you scared of me? is that why you all ignore the obvious? i hate you. i hate me. you don't even try to make me feel welcome and i hate you for that. i hate you i hate you i hate you. but i hate me most of all. i wish i wasn't like this. i wish somebody paid attention to me. i just want someone to take an interest in me. but no, you're too obsessed with her to care about me. she is all you think about and all you talk about and when she is with us, i all of a sudden don't matter anymore. when i talk you ignore me. you won't walk next to me on the sidewalk. i always have to walk behind you two. i wouldn't treat you that way, why do you treat me like that? why don't i matter?

[red umbrellas]

s- i can't help that i'm not writing. take your nastiness and stick it. i'm doing my best, i don't need your bitchiness right now

________

i wish you'd let me know you genuinely, really cared. i wish you'd tell me you'd always be there. i wish i could tell you that i can't stand to be alone. i wish i could tell you how much i need you to be here for me

[Blake 1]

everyone - i'm doing my best, it really takes a lot for me to make it through the day without falling to pieces. please love me for who i am not who you want me to be.