after

[marylou]

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes, I didn't bleed. It's not too bad, just stingy.

what had happened just before?
I couldn't focus. I was in this dream place and it was driving me crazy.

what were you thinking and feeling?
Nothing, except how I should be studying instead thinking nothing.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I couldn't concentrate, or focus on anything and I really need to study for this exam I have. It was an attempt to bring me out of the dream place.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I've not been doing the work I should've for weeks. Yesterday I got home form uni and slept and then didn't do anything.
I don't know what else I could've done, I just couldn't get myself motviated any other way.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I'm tired. I always tired. And I was alone in my house.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I didn't really. I slept, hoping that when I woke up it'd be different.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
-

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
-

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I think it will probably occur again, alot.
But I don't feel too bad just now. I needed to study and it motivated me. I guess it feels like I'm SHing to help myself (study, concentrate etc) and not SHing because I don't like myself. So it doesn't seem too bad, I don't feel guilty.

[mallie]

I find it curious that you skipped two questions, which are probably the ones I'd see as being the most important. Using this experience to learn for next time can be really valuable.

From personal experience, I find that SI is a pretty poor motivator for study. That was something I used to do, use SI to try and gain mental clarity in order to study, but there came a point where this method failed.

Have you done anything to ensure you're more prepared next time so if you can't study it isn't something you need to force?

[marylou]

I hear what you're saying mallie, I just wasn't up to answering them earlier. Doing that lazy, I don't care if I SH or not thing.
Here are my revised answers:

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I'd tried sleeping, reading, putting on worship CD, eating crap.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
It helps, I'm not sure I want to stop myself when I need to focus.

I've not done anything to prepare, I kinda just want to do it anyway and have it help and not think about the consequences for a long, long time... Hmm, doesn't sound too healthy.