i feel so empty

[everythingends666]

Over the weekend i went to the lake with my friend and a guy she likes. friday nite they drank and pressured me to drink all nite..i just wanted to cry..anywayz tho i felt really bad cuz we were all laying around in the same bed like she was in the middle and he was on the other side of her and i felt so sad cuz i thought they were doing "stuff"..like he was taking advantage of her so i cut..i also cut earlier wen they were drunk cuz i felt like i needed to escape from everything..saturday nite i drank w/ them but i didnt get drunk i just go buzzed so they wouldnt pressure me anymore..the reason y i didnt want to drink was because i hadnt cut in like 70-80 days and i was scared that drinking would make me want to cut. anywayz tho, i wanted to sleep so i had him walk me to his bed..and i slept for a few hours then he came and got me and walked me back. exciting huh? back to the story: the next day on aim she told me that he talked her into giving her a hand job. but like he kept telling her it was her decision and stuff..anywayz now i dont no how to describe wat i feel..im worried bout her cuz i dont want her to do anything she will regret later and turn into a slut or anything..she gave me like a journal entry to read so i would no how she felt and she said that it wasnt a bad experience or anything but now she kinda feels used. she also said she had trouble sleeping cuz he wasnt there to hold her. i wrote her back telling her my thoughts which were mainly bout cutting and stuff...but i feel so empty..just full of nothingness..i dont no y..but all i want to do is escape. i mite go over to another friends house and she told me that they r going to be smoking..i feel better bout it cuz she told me that if i dont want to do it then dont but if i do then i can...i think i mite try it..i guess i want to see if it will help me escape...

i want to no ur opinions on this guys!!!

[katja]

dont even bother with weed, its a stupid middle class rebellion and people who smoke it all the time get well boring trust me. I can understand you being worried about your friend, boys are always trying to have sex, its in their nature just tell her that not doing everything her guy wants her to do may make her lose him, but its for the best really. No one wants to regret sleeping with a gross teenage boy for the rest of their lives *YUK*. Theirs no need for you to hang out and get pissed with them if you dont want, thats not what friends do. good luck an sorry your feeling so down sweetheart xxx

[Arcadia]

don't bother with weed. half a joint occasionally can chill you out, but excessive smokers are the most borign fuckers in the universe and it can make you paranoid.