After

[pandablue]

have you taken care of your physiacl wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes

what had happened just before?
Nothing really happened
what were you thinking and feeling?
Anger and resentment

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was teh final straw? what was it?
It was a safe time to do it. I was alone.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
It was a build up of things that happened through out the week. A lot of ups and downs. Guess it felt a little stressful for me. The final straw was something someone I love said to me. It brought up a past issue. I could have let it go. Thought it through better. I had it in my mind to do it and just couldn’t shake the urge.

were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I was dealing with lack of sleep. I don’t know how to remedy insomnia when I have it. Over the counter stuff doesn’t work for me anymore.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I think I just focused on self harm and didn’t try anything else.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Talking to the person telling them how I felt about what they said would have helped.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
Practice by talking about smaller issues. Letting people know when they hurt me in little ways may help me remember. Besides that I really don’t know how to remember.

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution? Hmm I talked to the person about it. I think I need to do some work on my past issues so they don’t hurt as bad when things come up.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Most likely. Remember that si doesn’t make it go away may be what I will need to do.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
1.Post a before
2.Talk to who ever I'm feeling resentment against
3. Write my feelings out

[pandablue]

Have you tried sleep hygiene?

I was thinking yes I bathe before bed




Thanks for the input, i'll try some of this
Mabness




I scrolled down and saw my last after post
it was almost identical to this one
helpfull to see the pattern
I fought the urge longer this time
so I'm thinking yay for me.

Panda

[pandablue]

I think with the last two slips resentment had a lot to do with it. Not talking about what is bugging me with the person who has hurt me. Not being able to sort the feelings out in my own head, to be able to talk about them. I think that is a huge pattern with me, even in therapy it's hard for me to do.

Ah well, guess it's back to my journal.





Panda

[pandablue]

Never that I can remember tried writing down my feelings before talking except for with therapy.

I'm thinking when strong feelings hit me I just don't know how to deal with them don't even know what the feeling is. anger seems to take over. So even if I'm hurt, sad, ect it just goes straight to anger.

Make any sense?

[pandablue]

Remember things that you do in therapy don't have to stay in therapy, you can use them as lifeskills, that is what therapy is about.

I write things down before therapy because my mind goes blank when I'm there I've been keeping a journal just for taking in with me. I swear I don't remember what I don't want to remember.

Why do you think that you get angry? What or Who is the anger directed at?

I think most of the time it's frustration. Sometimes with my husband. It may start with being upset with him but it seems to always end up directed towards myself. for instance he says something that hurts me. I think well he doesn't understand me. Why doesn't he understand? Because I don't let him understand so it's my problem. Always seems to cycle back to me no matter the situation.

Hmmm?

[pandablue]

Could it also be that your husband, because men are not known for their communication skills, does not give you the kind of response that you need? Does he perhaps try and fix a situation rather than giving support? do you feel he hasn't listened to you and validated your feelings?

Yes and we have discussed this. He tries and is very teachable. Much more so than I am. Certain subjects are hard for me to even think about let alone discus or try to explain to him.
We've had some real bad times in the past so sometimes I think maybe I just would rather be quiet and mad than bring up anything from then.

[pandablue]

No need to shut up


I'm working on the past stuff with my T...not sure it's even an issue. I think I'm needing to forgive myself for some things. My T says I need to first see them as they were. Not look at them in big general ways. Mainly I think not be so hard on myself. It's real hard when my husband brings them back up. He doesn't do it so much anymore. Maybe just maybe my last slip was a way for me to let him see how much it hurts me when he does.
This is the very first time he's asked to see and I've shown him my wound.


I dunno

[pandablue]

Yep


thanks so much Mab








Panda

[pandablue]

yep it was a good one