a question about si an sa

[katja]

In everything I read about self harm all these doctors and stuff think that there is a direct link between self harm and sexual abuse. do you think this is true and if so why do you think sexual abuse makes you self harm?

[collide]

i say yes and no...i wasn't sexually abused as a child or anything like that but i was emotionally abused and physically abused pretty much from a very very young age til now, well, not the physical abuse anymore but still get lot of emotional abuse from my mom though i am an adult now...but because of the abuse i started having suidical thoughts and i think for me i started hurting myself, siing too...i knew i was depressed but wasn't diagnosed that til my first breakdown in college and got locked up in a psych ward...later i kept siing or trying to kill myself and kept ending up locked up...they tested me and i was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder...then after a rape by a landlord i REALLY wanted to die, and i was siing like crazy....so the YES part is linked to being raped, but the NO part, is i wasn't sexually abused before i started siing....

[Shado]

I read on a site that around 50% of SHers were sexually, physically, or emotionally abused. I also read that another factor could be if they were discouraged from showing emotion in childhood. I think SA makes you SH because it's such a horrible thing that people don't know of any other way to deal with the emotion or make it feel better.

[mallie]

I think there is a link - they keep finding one, so it does seem reasonable, but I don't think it is a one-to-one relationship. Sexual abuse isn't enough of an explanation to account for all self harm, and self harm is not an inevitable consequence of being sexually abused.

Reasons will vary a lot between individual people, and whatever someones reasons, they are valid and do matter.

[ArchyOpteryx]

i am intrigued
in myself i can see a link
i think the sa made me retreat into my own head
then my family discouraged having any feelings at all

so

when i am stressed or whatever
i hide in my head
and deny all emotion
so the result is: i don't do anything about it or ask for help or anything
and the pressure builds and builds and builds
and then i pop and cutty cut cut cut

kinda looks like a cause effect relationship
i guess anything that causes you to bottle yourself up
sa or whatever
leads to shitty coping mechanisms

[rosie605]

I think that it is linked to all abuse not just sa. It's just that usually those of us who were sa had a lot of other stuff going on also (physical and emotional abuse) as well. Hope that made sense

[-Kel-]

i think its generally related to abuse not just sexual.

maybe u get so use to the pain

[Mindpoison]

My T and I actually got into a discussion about this once. I was SA'ed, but I had only been seeing him a few months, it was my first T and I had never disclosed it before but he kept asking me about it. He asked me three seperate times if I was SA'ed and finally I was just like, "Why the hell do you automatically assume people who cut were molested?"

He said as a result of SA, some people end up cutting to disfigure themselves; scars may be ugly in their mind so they want to make their skin look unattractive, or it may be about control, ie: "I can hurt myself worse than you can hurt me". He mentioned acting out both the roles of the abuser and the victim. Hmm, wish I could remember more of that session. He had some interesting theories.

But I agree with the rest of the posters...the reasons for SI vary so much and not everyone who is SA'ed will end up harming him or herself.

[**~*justme*~**]

i think its generally related to abuse not just sexual.

maybe u get so use to the pain

i agree but don't understand i was SAA'ed but i dont know if it affecte my SI

[NobodyToYou]

I don't have as much to offer this thread from personal experience, but I do have some ideas...
I do think research has clearly indicated a link between SA and SI. As someone else cited, a large portion of people who SI were sexually or otherwise abused. However, not all of us were. I was never abused.
I think it is more complicated than abuse directly causing SI, since it doesn't in everyone. I think it has to do with how you process emotions. And those of us who didn't learn to handle them in a good way are much more likely to SI. I was not abused, but I can think of very few things that would bring up more strong emotions for a child than abuse would. And often, if the abuse is by someone close to the child, hiding it is also taught....so it makes sense that hiding negative emotions becomes the pattern, and SI is one thing that allows the person to both express the emotion (physical marks, pain, etc) and still hide it (since others don't know or don't know what it is about).