Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

[Frozen]

*PMs fine*

*ive stopped taking my meds
*i accidently broke one of my sis' CDs

[VowsOfSadness]

*all Trigs* (Just too lazy to sort them out right now)
PM's are welcome

I have at least 4 valid ways to kill my mom, and she keeps giving me more reasons to do it. I think I am lacking reasoning.

I get blamed for everything because I have a mental illness and I just let it go. I've become the family scapegoat and I used to not care but i just can't stand it anymore.

The reason I say mean things about him (Ryan if anyone knows me from awile back) is because I need to know I am ok and over him. I think I would still like him as a friend and have no real problem with him but I have to defend myself. I have to show myself that I am okay and beyond it. i don't know if that makes sense.

I hit and scratched my brother today. The first time in a long time. I couldn't help it. I couldn't stand to be blamed for one more thing. I couldn't have eveyone blame their disappointment on me again.

I am so afraid to go back to school because I am in so much trouble for being a bully, when I only BUlly the BULLIES. God I am so stupid. I should have thought first. I was defending my friend, or was I just using that as a chance to get back at someone I know does bad things.

[fuzzy ducky]

deleted this post. i guess that is a secret

[Sky]

**please comment, if you want**

~ I wish that I still had those bottles of vodka in my room, even though I've been sober for 8 months, it would still help somehow just to know they were there if I needed them.

~ I lost my best friend in the whole world. Jessie, because of my alcoholism and the pills. Thing is, I didn't do all of it, I was covering for her because I would rather never get to see her again because her parents hate me, then for her to have to suffer...

~ I haven't talked to Jessie in so long, and sometimes I still cry myself to sleep at night. I remember how close we were and how we were friends... how she held onto me that night so tight because I was terrified that I was going to fall off the face of the earth and be forgotten. I miss how we used to curl up on the couch together and watch movies and how this one girl called us lesbians, only becasue she was so insecure about not having a friend like that to snuggle with.

~ I wish that I wouldn't have stolen the car that night, or broken into their house... They're nice people, and I wish it never would have happened

~ Sometimes I still run around outside and pretend I'm a superhero, or that I'm a princess...

~ I met this guy online (he was a friend of a friend in real life, I had just never met him) and fell for him. We finally met and things were great, but he lives far away and stuff. Well, when I took time out for myself last month, no phone and no fake friends like the shallow people at school, I lost touch with him. I haven't talked to him in almost two months because I'm scared to death to call... I'm afraid that he doesn't care or even remember who I am...

~ I stole those star wars light up lego men that I got for Becca... and then lied and told her I got them on clearence at wal-mart because the package was messed up and that's why they had no package.

~ I miss my dad sometimes, even though he was such a jerk and all the hell he put us through... he's still my dad, and there's still a bond there. I was daddy's little girl when I was little and I didn't understand what was going on at the time. All I knew was that it hurt... that he hurt me and I just wanted him to love me.... I just wanted him to love me...

~ I do want people to love me, and I'm so scared that no one ever will...

~ I'll never have childern, because I know that if I do, I'm going to hurt them or worse... I'm bipolar, and I'm afraid that I'll put them through what I went through when I was young. I would love to have kids, but becasue I know I'd love them, I'll never have any so I won't see them hurt...

~ Someday I won't be afraid to tell all this to people in real life.

~ I hope someone sends me a pm just so I can feel like I really did tell someone...

[Lynn]

* right now I hate my pdoc

* I just want my T to come back

* I wish I had a diagnosis so I could tell people what's 'wrong' with me

Interesting

[Oblivion]

I only have three weeks left till my count down is over then i can OD.


I tried to give my heart back to God last night but he didnt care:(

[jennikins84]

(Comments by PM ok)

I'm scared to come back in case it proves no one cares... so I stay away and never know whether anyone still does.

[gin and kerosene]

comments ok
e.d

i'm looking for excuses to lose weight.
I know everything will be better once i hit double digits.

I've been let down b4 so i try not to get excite about life.
im not a good person.

[Illumina]

*comments ok*

I wish he would realise how serious I am about this. If he would just know and let me know there's another way, then... I think I could change my mind...

[Forget Me]

i hate being defined. i hate following a protocol, being labelled,being the same as everyone else. but what no-one knows is that i will allow myself to be given one label... cutter. and i'm proud of it.... but i know i shouldnt be....

[what_if]

~ *Comments are definitely welcome* ~

My mom, sister, and me were talking one day. The fact that my mom wanted DNR (Do Not Resusitate) scared the complete life out of me. I lost it. Mainly because that's what I want, but i'm too afraid to say it.


*SU Trigs*
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Two family members know I SI. They've been scared that i might be feeling suicical, but i always assure them that SU and SI are very different. Everyday i think of a new way to kill myself.

I wake up in the morning...every morning...honestly wishing i hadnt. If i die in my sleep, I wont have to use as much effort.

*end of trigs*

I tell people that I'm not interested in relationships. But I'm just really too afraid that no-one would want me anyway.

My three closest friends have hurt me so many times. More than i can remember. I still love them.

I hate my father.

Everyone thinks I'm one of the happiest people ever. It couldnt be further from the truth.

My sister and I were talking about getting therapy. She's older than me, and has had many issues to deal with. My mom decided that only she needed it. I feel almost jealous of her...i want to talk to someone, but now I feel as though my issues are nothing at all.

I say I'm an atheist. I am. But i prayed everynight for a year.

I dont want to get better. I truly dont. I take so much confort in my misery, i'd be lost without it.

I dont think i know how to let the tears fall anymore.

All I've ever wanted to do in life was make my mom proud. She says i have, but i know she's lying.

I hate myself. I dont even see myself as a person anymore. I'm nothing.


*Trigs general*
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I wish that one day, i'll walk down the street and be kidnapped or raped. It'd save it from happening to someone who was loved and cared about.

*end of trigs*

I just read a reply to a thread i started. Someone wrote "I don't think you will ever know how huge of an impact your story has had, or how many people it has impacted." This brought me to tears. For the first time since i can remember...i feel wanted.

~ Nat

[deadly]

Comments ok

I love my boyfriend more than anything on this earth but every time he lights up a cigarrette infront of me i actually hate him for a second- not because I hate smoking, but because i know if i start up my bad little habits again i would lose everyone, including him.
Every time he tries to quit & doesn't manage it it rips me apart but all i ever say is "better luck next time"... what i really wanna do is SI infront of him so he can see how much it hurts every single time he smokes...
It's just Not Fair that no one thinks any less of him for smoking but if I start to SI again i lose everything...


deadly xXx

[marshmallowfluff]

gone

[Guest]

i wonder if this world i am in is fake. maybe i really am all alone. i feel that my big sis is drifting away from me..but in somepart of my mind i know she's just tired and busy. i hope she's just tired and busy. i guess thats selfish to say.
at night i lay in the dark and feel the tears fall beyond my eyes...i just feel so alone
i'm so angry inside
i should be skinnier...but i don't have the control to stop eating.
sometimes i can hear things in my head sortof like voices but there mumbled and i can't understand what is being said. it scares me...makes me dizzy
i'm terrified to start school, i want to do good but i don't know if i can.


sorry for the wierdness...

Love Always
Little_Girl

[gin and kerosene]

no comments no hugs no pity no respect

*ed*
alli can think about is food. Not just food but binging and purging and exercising and lax and every other thing. I just want to be @@ pounds. Part of me knows it wont make everything go away but I still feel it will.

- sometimes he really weirds me out
- i dont think being here is healthy for me but i dont have anything else
- i get so scared to leave my house and all i want to do is hide
- this isnt so fulfilling
- i have violent rages but they are always internalized so no one see it
- im going to crack very soon

[aimee929]

--I am 27 years old & have never been in a relationship or even been kissed.

--I have lied to every single person I know in real life about relationships, depression, rape, and abuse. If any of them found out, I would have no one.

--I tell so many lies that I have begun to believe them myself.

--I think I am incapable of being loved.

--I say I am straight, but think I may be bisexual b/c I have been attracted to some girls. But this doesn't seem to matter b/c I've never been in a relationship anyway.

--I secretly dream of begin a victim of some crime.

--I hate myself.

--I try to support my friends, but I don't think they realize that every time I hear a story about a boyfriend or girlfriend, a small part of me dies from loneliness.

--I think that my mother hates me.

--I don't think I will live to see age 30.

--I love children, but fear that if I ever had any, they would only be as fucked up as I am.


Aimee

**comments are fine--PM**

[VowsOfSadness]

I just want to post a little reminder I think is getting lost or skipped over so no one feel bad or get offended. It is just a reminder to freshen up.

*EDIT*IMPORTANT PLEASE READ*

If you would like comments please state so at the top of your post, by putting *Please Comment-PM*, *Comments PM* If you do not mind either way put something like *Comments are fine-PM*. Otherwise if you would like no comments you don't have to put anything and no one will comment. We will assume most people would like their comments to remain in some ways secret by no one commenting.

It is okay for people to want comments on their secret, when you reply to a comment do so via PM, don't feel intimadated to PM someone. I am only asking for them in PM form so the thread doesn't go off-track.

PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT ON ANY POSTS UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED at the top of the post.

Put proper spoilers, I'm sure we all know this, but just to be safe.

You can put your secret in a new post everytime or edit your old ones if you want. Posting a new post will get more attention and won't be lost.

-Vows
Pm w/any questions

You don't really have to comment on this, just a reminder. If you have any comments or concerns please PM me.

Vows

[VowsOfSadness]

I allow myself to cut once a day, at night before I go to bed. It auctually works to make me cut less.

[VowsOfSadness]

i read my friends secret blog (one she doesn't know i know about) and she has a crush on me which makes me queezy

[près de vous]

-- i'm scared i'll never be in love again.

-- i wish i could do something to make myself depressed again, even though i'm recovering and i haven't si'd for a while now i don't wanna get better. i'm terrified that i'll never be depressed again and i'll never si again.

-- i'm 22 and i have no idea what i wanna do with my life.

-- i don't find my boyfriend attractive, i don't even like him much.

-- i don't know if i love K anymore even though i tell her i do.

-- i'm scared of going to college again incase i quit again and let everyone down again.

-- i'm scared that i might make my friends hate me again.

*comments fine-PM*