Unable to cry
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marshmallowfluff
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Unable to cry
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Last edited by marshmallowfluff on Fri Dec 09, 2005 2:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."
I used to have the same problem. Funerals, sad movies, insults- nothing could make me cry. I used to think myself above crying, so I would force myself not to. Then that assumption came back to bite me in the ass. I couldn't cry no matter what.
I don't know about forcing yourself to cry...it never worked for me... but one day I was sitting on my boyfriend's bed and all the sudden WHAMMO. I was sobbing like a baby for 45 minutes. Perhaps something like that might happen to you.
If you think about sad things long enough a couple tears might trickle, but thats probably about it. Cutting onions or putting some Burts Bees chapstick around the edge of your eye with send the right fumes in to force your eyes to water. That's all I can offer, sorry I cant be more help.
I don't know about forcing yourself to cry...it never worked for me... but one day I was sitting on my boyfriend's bed and all the sudden WHAMMO. I was sobbing like a baby for 45 minutes. Perhaps something like that might happen to you.
If you think about sad things long enough a couple tears might trickle, but thats probably about it. Cutting onions or putting some Burts Bees chapstick around the edge of your eye with send the right fumes in to force your eyes to water. That's all I can offer, sorry I cant be more help.
Eisa = Beasty's Twin
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NobodyToYou
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- Location: USA
I can understand where you are coming from...crying has been next to impossible for most of this past year. However, in the past few months that has started to change...
I am not sure exactly how it happened, so I don't have a "how to" manual for you. I think for me, one of the most important things was allowing myself to feel sad. It was not as easy as it sounds...I would get angry with myself for feeling sad (which felt weak) and then I would be feeling the anger and disgust with myself, not the sadness. And I can't cry when I am angry. It just doesn't work. So...letting myself stay with sadness and not try to shut it off was one big thing. But another was to not concentrate on the tears. My tears are shy...if I notice them too much, they go away. But if I ignore them, and stay with whatever I was thinking about or doing, sometimes they come more easily. Another trick that has helped me cry is to be very soft and nurturing with myself, which is practically the opposite of SI for me. For me, I cry most easily when I am wrapped up in a blanket, by myself, and feel safe and somewhat weak. When I feel I have to be strong or take care of things, I don't have time for tears or sadness.
As I said before, I have been crying a lot more recently...I think twice in the past week, which is so shocking for me. And I have really mixed feelings about it...there is still part of me that says tears are stupid and bad and should be made to go away...along with feelings and weakness and needs. But...there is another part that knows these changes are good, even if they are uncomfortable.
I hope you can find something useful in this.
I am not sure exactly how it happened, so I don't have a "how to" manual for you. I think for me, one of the most important things was allowing myself to feel sad. It was not as easy as it sounds...I would get angry with myself for feeling sad (which felt weak) and then I would be feeling the anger and disgust with myself, not the sadness. And I can't cry when I am angry. It just doesn't work. So...letting myself stay with sadness and not try to shut it off was one big thing. But another was to not concentrate on the tears. My tears are shy...if I notice them too much, they go away. But if I ignore them, and stay with whatever I was thinking about or doing, sometimes they come more easily. Another trick that has helped me cry is to be very soft and nurturing with myself, which is practically the opposite of SI for me. For me, I cry most easily when I am wrapped up in a blanket, by myself, and feel safe and somewhat weak. When I feel I have to be strong or take care of things, I don't have time for tears or sadness.
As I said before, I have been crying a lot more recently...I think twice in the past week, which is so shocking for me. And I have really mixed feelings about it...there is still part of me that says tears are stupid and bad and should be made to go away...along with feelings and weakness and needs. But...there is another part that knows these changes are good, even if they are uncomfortable.
I hope you can find something useful in this.
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