be f---ing fore

[ArchyOpteryx]

Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
spinning faster and faster and faster
did they put something in the water
did i forget my meds
what the hell is going on
why can't i deal with anything right now
what the hell is going on
i'm freaking out and i don't know why
deep breaths
breathe
breathe

no rest
home no res
work no rest
that's why i'm at work at 10 pm
and i'm on bus dealing with shit

bye

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?


How do I feel right now?


How will I feel when I am hurting myself?


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?


Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?


Do I need to hurt myself?

[NobodyToYou]

Wow...sounds really tough. Is there any way you can MAKE some time for yourself to rest? Go hide in the bathroom or a stairwell for 15 minutes? Take a coffee break but don't drink it (caffeine doesn't mix well with anxiety, in my experience)?
At least keep breathing....
I hope you are able to take care of yourself.

[ArchyOpteryx]

thanks nobody

last night i played online video games till midnight
felt better
no si
didn't think i was really gunna cut
but decided to post a before as a pre emptive strike
went home and went to bed
and didn't do any dishes!

so feeling ok -er today
and i requested a t appointment

so i'm on the road to recovery
sorta

thanks
i'll be ok

[NobodyToYou]

I am really glad you did what you needed to do to take care of yourself. You are taking a lot of positive steps. I am especially proud of you for getting out of the situation and doing something for you. I am also proud of you for requesting a meeting with the T....you are working hard. Just thought I would recognize the effort.

[plantt]

glad you didn't si. sounds like it was tough.
when's t appt?