I made it through tonight...

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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pretty
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I made it through tonight...

Post by pretty » Thu Aug 11, 2005 10:45 pm

...and now I'm going to bed. But I got through without si, though I came really close. Go me :)

<b>Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?</b>
Yes.

<b>If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?</b>
Anxiety, stress, loneliness, tiredness. I just looked at the situation and made a mental note. I'm pretty self-aware, which is a really useful skill.

<b>What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?</b>
I talked to a friend. I gave up my unrealistic goals that were making me stressed. I read the <a href="viewtopic.php?t=34500">Scarily VAST list of coping strategies</a>. I wrote in my journal lots of nasty negative words in big red marker, then lines like cuts filing all the spaces. I played games to distract myself. I just filled the time until I knew A would be home and I'd be safe.

<b>Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?</b>
I think so.

<b>Why do I think they worked?</b>
They took up my brain. The drawing and writing in my journal really helped me get the negative thoughts out of my head. Yeah, mostly they occupied me until the cavalry arrived ;)

<b>How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?</b>
I really really really need to work on my motivation, focus and self discipline so that I don't get into a state where the essay is due in twelve hours and I can't stop panicking. I'm not sure how to do that though. And I can't deal with it yet, because I do still need to get the essay in sometime soon and then I still have some catching up to do. I've only given up for tonight.
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world

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plantt
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Post by plantt » Fri Aug 12, 2005 6:27 am

good for you :grain:

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Post by balletomane » Fri Aug 12, 2005 7:30 am

It sounds like you did a really good job of choosing effective distractions and coping methods. I think it is a good idea to revisit the discipline and motivation questions (when you are a little more caught up that is). That is something I have been working on, so if you ever want to share motivation tips, or whatever, feel free to PM me. Good luck with the essay. :star:

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Post by pretty » Fri Aug 12, 2005 9:48 pm

Thank you :)

I'm still all up and down and needing to get lots of work done tomorrow. Crucially though, I'm not going to be at home alone for very long in the next two days, and that was when things got scary.

I think I need to write an achievable study plan once this essay is in, and then I need to stick to it.
'this is what she says gets her through it,
"if I don't let myself be happy now, then when?"' - jimmy eat world

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