why is my brother the only thing that can make me cry?

[DecemberLivy]

I find it impossible to cry, even though i want to so badly i'll hit myself to try and make the tears come, but they won't. It just makes the pain inside even more unbearable.
But I have an older brother, he is not exactly right in the head and is frequently very violent towards me. When he hits, kicks, or beats me the tears come out of nowhere, and I'm not crying because he is hitting me. It's like once I've started I can't stop, then i cry about everything I really need to cry about, and I feel better.
But why is he the only thing that can make the tears appear out of nowhere? Maybe it's the fear? Can someone help me? I'm struggling to understand here.
Thanks,
Livy

[balletomane]

It could be fear. It could also be frustration about the whole situation. Maybe during those episodes, your worries about your brother are brought out? And once you start crying, you feel like you can let it all out?

I know I'm just babbling.