after input requested

[pandablue]

Have you taken care of your physical wounds? If not, go do that now. We’ll wait. Yes


What had happened just before? Was upset with something someone said to me.


What were you thinking and feeling?

I was feeling like I didn’t matter a whole lot. I was actually feeling very angry.


Why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? Was there an event that was the final straw? What was it?

I gave up trying not to. My husband speaking harshly to me was the final straw. I lost it. I was trying not to hurt myself because I didn’t want to hurt my husband. Then when he said something rude that hurt me bad I guess it didn’t matter if I hurt him. In fact I think I wanted to hurt him. Even though I knew I wouldn’t show him.


How did the situation get to the final straw stage? Trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. Look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.

I was feeling bad about myself the day before. I went to the nest…I think maybe I should have called some of my real life friends. I went into isolation mode. Maybe if I would have I wouldn’t have been so weak this morning. I did get positive feedback in the Nest and felt better. In the morning I could have brushed off what he said. I could have tried to see his point and not taken it so hard. I could have waited a few minutes for my anger to die down.


Were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? Can you address those in the future? How?

I don’t think so…I did forget to take my meds the day before. It usually doesn’t cause problems though. I can make a point of taking them at the same time each day.


What other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? How well did they work?

Tried to calm myself down by taking deep breaths, didn’t try too hard so, no it didn’t work.


In retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? What were they?

I haven’t found one for when I’m so angry. Sometimes distraction has worked before. I don’t think I wanted anything to work at the time. I just wanted the anger and rage to go away.





Name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again. Can’t think of any now.


How do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? Is it resolved? If not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?

Not really. Talk with my husband and try and let him know how his words affect me.


Are you likely to be in that emotional place again? How will you recognize it when you're in that situation?

More than likely. I will try not to get too tired so I will recognize it. I will try and express my emotions with words…when I’m calm. So I don’t get so wound up. Then maybe I won’t snap so easily.

What will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? List three specific things you will commit to trying.

I will tell myself I’m OK. I will look for other ways to express my anger. Like write in my journal about it. Take some deep breaths and sit for a while.

[Kaelyn]

I was actually feeling very angry.

Were you angry with yourself? and why were you angry - because of your husband speaking that way? Or because of the way you felt?

In retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? What were they?
I haven’t found one for when I’m so angry.

Does exercising help you to calm down/get the anger out? (for instance, running around the block) Or maybe scream/punch into a pillow?
If that doesn't suit you, maybe similar things will.

[pandablue]

I think I was angry at my husband before then after angry at myself mainly for letting it get to me and not being able to express to him how his words made me feel. I was angry for feeling worthless because I know in my head it's not true. My emotions were running amuck.


I don't exercise and it was real early in the morning so I didn't want to wake the family up. Going outside and running may have helped.
I'll try to remember that next time.

thank you!

[herebedragons]

I find that writing or typing out everything I'm angry about helps sometimes. Typing is good because then I can delete it all and don't have to worry about anyone coming across a notebook full or my rants.

[pandablue]

Too true!
I've just started journeling on my laptop so I can password protect it and it saves the hassle of tearing up or shredding paper.

The conflic I was having w/my husband however was about the time I've spent on my computer lately. He didn't know I do my journaling here so assumed I was spending all my time on internet...have been spending more time on it since I found bus so i guess i was being overly sensitive.
anyway i was afaid he would see me on the puter and get upset...go figure what goes on inside my head sometimes? like I couldn't pick up a pen and paper? and like seeing wht i chose to do instead wouldn't have upset him?

thanks for the reminder to write things down...you know until i found bus i've been afraid of writting things because of the state of mind i get into sometimes now if i get to upset w/were my writting takes me i can log on here and get defussed a bit.
sorry for going on and talking in a bit of a circle