Things Left Unsaid *LA*
- DecemberLivy
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7474
- Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:38 am
- Location: London
mum- i'm a crap daughter i know, my life is upside down at the moment... just stay with me and i'll come through and be better again
the world- i just need one year to straighten myself out, give me that time and i swear i'll be someone and make a difference
the world- i just need one year to straighten myself out, give me that time and i swear i'll be someone and make a difference
<center>my walpole cafe
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
"My life's a mess"
"That's the way it's supposed to be" - soap -
</center>
I think I'll paint roads
on my front room walls
to convince myself
that I'm going places.
do you want me or don't you ?
I feel like something is coming and I suspect it's because of my figure... no on ehas ever complained, great timing
Oh well it might not be that bad... It's just you're so quiet.
I want you... I really do.
I don't know if that'll change down the road or not... or if you are willing to stay on that path longer than what would be you're preference.
Like you said "sometimes you waited, sometimes you didn't"
I need to know if I am going to be a "didn't"
hearing something id better than nothing at all.
I just want to be held.
I feel like something is coming and I suspect it's because of my figure... no on ehas ever complained, great timing
Oh well it might not be that bad... It's just you're so quiet.
I want you... I really do.
I don't know if that'll change down the road or not... or if you are willing to stay on that path longer than what would be you're preference.
Like you said "sometimes you waited, sometimes you didn't"
I need to know if I am going to be a "didn't"
hearing something id better than nothing at all.
I just want to be held.
- Dungeon_Lilly
- driving instructor
- Posts: 5571
- Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2003 2:44 pm
- Location: Halfway To Sanity (SW London and Surrey)
- Contact:
I haven't stopped, you know I haven't I told you so why wont you listen?
<center>
I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality
I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality
- Twitter Mouse
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 11338
- Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2003 3:02 am
Kel- Why are you doing this??? i realize that now he doesn't treat you like shit, since you're an only child, and after I left he had to fight to keep you. But he doesn't love you, he never did. He only treats you better now to impress the family. Why can't you see that? Why can't you see you're hurting mum? You are. She cries and cries, because you left her. When you know dad has treated you like shit for your whole life; you only like him now because you're being a greedy little bitch and he buys you things. You just use mum when she's conveinent, and that's just wrong. Mum deserves better and you know it. You are being such a bitch.
Hey my baby, don't you know our love is true,
I've been so far from here,
Far from your loving arms,
Now I'm back again, and babe it's gonna work out fine.
- candiperfumegirl
- quintessential regular
- Posts: 2196
- Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:19 am
- Location: Iowa
- Contact:
- starrynight26
- growing roots
- Posts: 804
- Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 12:50 am
i'm sorry i am a disappointment to you. i know i'm not a good daughter. i wish i was. but i can't be the daughter you want me to be. i wish i could, but i can't. even so, your being a parent shouldn't be conditional on my being the daughter you want me to be. shouldn't ever have been.
we didn't ask to be born. nobody forced you to become parents. that was your choice. you may regret it now and i'm sorry you do, but it was still your choice and you damn well have to stick to it now. it's not ok to wash your hands of us now -- especially her, she's only 14 and she needs parents. and it's not fair to blame us for the sacrifices you had to make in order to be a parent -- that's what you decided the day you decided to have kids. some are things you need to sort out between you two, but it's not fair to blame that on us either. we didn't ask to be kids. maybe you shouldn't have had kids -- you should just have had students.
i know stuff's hard for you right now. but it's hard for us too. stop taking it out on us. we have enough to cope with as is.
we really need parents now. we need to be parented. jsut a little bit. i don't mean telling us when to go to bed or uselss stuff like that. i mean trying just a little bit to listen when we try to say stuff, when you ask us stuff. and trying just a little bit not to take your stress out on us when it's nothing to do with us. and trying jsut a little bit not to talk like you don't want us and regret having had us.
can you pretend you love us and don't wish you hadn't had us? just a little?
--
mage
we didn't ask to be born. nobody forced you to become parents. that was your choice. you may regret it now and i'm sorry you do, but it was still your choice and you damn well have to stick to it now. it's not ok to wash your hands of us now -- especially her, she's only 14 and she needs parents. and it's not fair to blame us for the sacrifices you had to make in order to be a parent -- that's what you decided the day you decided to have kids. some are things you need to sort out between you two, but it's not fair to blame that on us either. we didn't ask to be kids. maybe you shouldn't have had kids -- you should just have had students.
i know stuff's hard for you right now. but it's hard for us too. stop taking it out on us. we have enough to cope with as is.
we really need parents now. we need to be parented. jsut a little bit. i don't mean telling us when to go to bed or uselss stuff like that. i mean trying just a little bit to listen when we try to say stuff, when you ask us stuff. and trying just a little bit not to take your stress out on us when it's nothing to do with us. and trying jsut a little bit not to talk like you don't want us and regret having had us.
can you pretend you love us and don't wish you hadn't had us? just a little?
--
mage
Last edited by magebaby on Thu Aug 04, 2005 3:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
- NobodyToYou
- board admin emeritus
- Posts: 17634
- Joined: Sat Feb 12, 2005 6:03 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: USA
For my T...things I couldn't say but wished I could have.
Thank you for all the time you have spent on me. The extra sessions since January. The times you canceled other people's sessions but didn't cancel mine. The times you told me I could call if I needed to. Even though I knew I wouldn't, it still helped to hear it.
Thank you for listening to me and paying attention to the things I say. And the things I couldn't say, but was trying to get across. Thank you for paying attention to my nonverbals. Thank you for noticing that sometimes things were really hard and I couldn't say it.
Thank you for being comfortable with my anger, even when I wasn't. And even when it was directed at you. Thank you for admitting when you were wrong. And agreeing with me more strongly than I would have put it. Thank you for helping me ground when I couldn't do it myself. Thank you for being a safe person for me to trust. I can't believe how much I have been willing to tell you, but when I look back at the year, I can see why I was. I can easily count the experiences that would make me not want to trust you and cannot come close to counting the ones that say you are safe to trust.
Thank you for telling me that I can contact you and that I am not just your job. I don't know if I believe you, but again, it was nice to hear. Thank you for being willing to hold on to hope for me, when I find it too dangerous to hope. I know the future is probably a lot brighter than I can handle admitting right now. And it is nice that I can trust your optimism without having to accept it for myself.
There are so many other things I feel like I should say, but words are running out. And I am not sure I can be that expressive, even in writing.
I will miss you a lot. But I know that you have helped me and those changes will not disappear. I feel like I owe you a lot and have no way to repay it...
Goodbye.
Thank you for all the time you have spent on me. The extra sessions since January. The times you canceled other people's sessions but didn't cancel mine. The times you told me I could call if I needed to. Even though I knew I wouldn't, it still helped to hear it.
Thank you for listening to me and paying attention to the things I say. And the things I couldn't say, but was trying to get across. Thank you for paying attention to my nonverbals. Thank you for noticing that sometimes things were really hard and I couldn't say it.
Thank you for being comfortable with my anger, even when I wasn't. And even when it was directed at you. Thank you for admitting when you were wrong. And agreeing with me more strongly than I would have put it. Thank you for helping me ground when I couldn't do it myself. Thank you for being a safe person for me to trust. I can't believe how much I have been willing to tell you, but when I look back at the year, I can see why I was. I can easily count the experiences that would make me not want to trust you and cannot come close to counting the ones that say you are safe to trust.
Thank you for telling me that I can contact you and that I am not just your job. I don't know if I believe you, but again, it was nice to hear. Thank you for being willing to hold on to hope for me, when I find it too dangerous to hope. I know the future is probably a lot brighter than I can handle admitting right now. And it is nice that I can trust your optimism without having to accept it for myself.
There are so many other things I feel like I should say, but words are running out. And I am not sure I can be that expressive, even in writing.
I will miss you a lot. But I know that you have helped me and those changes will not disappear. I feel like I owe you a lot and have no way to repay it...
Goodbye.
- PassingCloud
- post laureate
- Posts: 11653
- Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2004 10:19 pm
- Gender: female
Na, Jae, Jer, Ja...
i will always love you. there is nothing you can do or i can do to change that. you will always be in my heart. i wish i had the courage to actually send this to you in an email but i am hurting too much. i am too afraid you'll ignore it. i am too afraid you won't answer. i am too afraid it won't mean anything to you - that *I* won'T mean anything to you.
i am sorry for writing empty posts in space that you will never ever get to read. i am sorry for being a bitch sometimes. i am sorry for being moody, and full of suspicion and distrust. i am sorry for lashing out and saying hurtful things. i am sorry for who i am. i am so, so, so sorry. i wish you would write me. i wish i knew how to say good-bye and mean it. i wish i wouldn't have to say good bye. i wish i could just go on hoping that some day you will write me. but it's been months and there's no message and it's useless to go on hoping...
and yet i still love you, forever.
i will always love you. there is nothing you can do or i can do to change that. you will always be in my heart. i wish i had the courage to actually send this to you in an email but i am hurting too much. i am too afraid you'll ignore it. i am too afraid you won't answer. i am too afraid it won't mean anything to you - that *I* won'T mean anything to you.
i am sorry for writing empty posts in space that you will never ever get to read. i am sorry for being a bitch sometimes. i am sorry for being moody, and full of suspicion and distrust. i am sorry for lashing out and saying hurtful things. i am sorry for who i am. i am so, so, so sorry. i wish you would write me. i wish i knew how to say good-bye and mean it. i wish i wouldn't have to say good bye. i wish i could just go on hoping that some day you will write me. but it's been months and there's no message and it's useless to go on hoping...
and yet i still love you, forever.
[I'm talking about my life.][I can't seem to get that through to you.]
[I'm not just talking about one person,][I'm talking about everybody.]
[I'm talking about form, I'm talking about content.][I'm talking about inter-relationships.]
[I'm talking about God, the Devil, Hell, Heaven!]
[Do you understand?]
[Finally?]
(one flew over the cuckoo's nest)
My Place
i don't understand. i'm so mixed up. i just don't get it. how can she be ok with all this? how can she not be angry with me? i'm scared.
--
mage
--
mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
a little support now and again wouldn't kill you, would it? just a very little bit of support?
--
mage
--
mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
-
- growing roots
- Posts: 957
- Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2005 4:59 am
Please please please do not do this to me. I don't think I could stand for this to happen again. All I want is for you to tell me that you give a damn and that I matter and that someday I'll be okay. And you might be the only person I can turn to right now. And I really need this right now. I hug wouldn't hurt either.
~Miss Scarlett~
- Dungeon_Lilly
- driving instructor
- Posts: 5571
- Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2003 2:44 pm
- Location: Halfway To Sanity (SW London and Surrey)
- Contact:
[size=0]Things arnt wonderful, your not wonderful. Your not god you cant control everything you can't punish people for things said in private, it's wrong, your wrong.[/size]
<center>
I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality
I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality
- t_k
- building community
- Posts: 580
- Joined: Sat Jun 26, 2004 4:26 am
- Location: Wellington, New Zealand
- Contact:
Richard - You're hot.
Isaac - Ok... It's kind of weird that you know who I am and that you noticed me looking at you (and by me looking at you I mean YOU looking at ME) but you know Nick and Richard and all of them so you can't be that bad, even if you're hateful, racist and God only knows whatelse... You're a bogan, it comes with the territory.
Jonathan - You're fooling no one. Eating something and keep it down for once and maybe you'll be more tolerable.
Nick - You're not allowed to go to any National Front meetings or parties or whatever thank you very much.
Isaac - Ok... It's kind of weird that you know who I am and that you noticed me looking at you (and by me looking at you I mean YOU looking at ME) but you know Nick and Richard and all of them so you can't be that bad, even if you're hateful, racist and God only knows whatelse... You're a bogan, it comes with the territory.
Jonathan - You're fooling no one. Eating something and keep it down for once and maybe you'll be more tolerable.
Nick - You're not allowed to go to any National Front meetings or parties or whatever thank you very much.
<CENTER>Lunchbox
Eating Disorder Forums</CENTER>
Eating Disorder Forums</CENTER>
- Dungeon_Lilly
- driving instructor
- Posts: 5571
- Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2003 2:44 pm
- Location: Halfway To Sanity (SW London and Surrey)
- Contact:
Face it you were wrong, so why act like such a fucking bitch? I hate you, for years I've dreamed of breaking off all contact with you.
<center>
I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality
I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality
Lia: I really don't want you to find out how fucked up I am, I also don't want to lie to you.... I'm at a loss for what to do... I'm sorry.....
Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]
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