Things Left Unsaid *LA*

~*Star*~ · Post by **~*Star*~** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 10:57 pm

i dont like having to look after dan all the time. hes my best friend and i love him to bits, hes my twin brother but i constantly have to look after him and make sure he is doing ok. i know he does it for me but i have to do so much, sometimes it feels like im just his organiser and i have to take care of the paper work. thats what i do, without me he'd be lost, he wouldnt know what to do because i sort everything for both of us.

i do look after him alot and i know it, but he looks after me too, just in a different way. he looks out for me, makes sure im ok, takes care of me, i do that but i also organise him! and take on the perils of his love life too! that takes alot, it drains me and im not directly involved.

i love him loads, hes my brother but god, he tires me out sometimes.

Forget Me · Post by **Forget Me** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 7:36 am

LANGUAGE!

dont treat me like dirt because i made a mistake. it is none of your buisness anymore. you have no reason to hold a grudge against me. you humiliated me, belittled me, and mede me believe that that is how you are supposed to act. i hate you. fuck you.

i fucked up, fucking big time. i'm nothing. nobody. i'm not worth anything. why does nobody understand how bad i am? why does no-one understand how much it hurts to be me and watch myself huting others and messing up left right and centre, and hating myself more than anything for doing it, but i'm too fucking weak to stop it. i fuck up and then i am a bitch to others so they cant mock me for it. i hurt people for no good reason. to protect myself. but they would probably hurt more if i let them close. because the blows hurt more when you are closer.

i hate you so much. so fucking much. i need to get away from you. you are worthless, horrible. but you are the one person i CANT get away from. no matter how hard i try. i cant. i want to kill myself to get away from you. i dont want to be here anymore. i want to fuck you up so much no-one can ever help you. and then you die. i want you to die so, so much. so i dont have to put up with you anymore. so no-one else has to. go on. die. you know you want to.

Koru · Post by **Koru** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:44 pm

Jim - I think I might be falling for you, I'm really sorry, I know I shouldn't, I know I get a crush on any guy that is nice to me and I've tried to warn you. How come we can talk for 6 hours and talk about ex's and sex and us sleeping together and not mention how either of us feels now. What are you thinking? Do you like me? Do you want a friend, a girlfriend, an fb? Please tell me you see me as more than a body, I think you do but I'm afraid to let myself believe it.

H - I still care so much for you and I enjoy spending time with you but we just don't have what Lara and Mike have, it might be comfortable and easy to get back together but it wouldn't be right, we both deserve more.

E - I kind of want to see you and I know I should invite you this weekend but a) I can't deal with the emotion and b) I would rather go to Jims, I'm really, really sorry.

T - I'm just really glad you're OK, I'm so pleased you are with someone else because it means that I didn't really destroy your life.

Forget Me · Post by **Forget Me** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 1:47 pm

[insert name here]-i'm not meant to like you.......

___fashioninjection · Post by **___fashioninjection** » Wed Jul 20, 2005 2:40 pm

[name] - i'm so sorry. i never meant to hurt you. i'm so sorry. i love you.

[name 2] - i love you but i know it can't happen. i'm sorry.

x

Koru · Post by **Koru** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 4:59 pm

Jim - I know I'm letting you mean too much already but you said you would be online to chat yesterday or today, it's 5pm now and you haven't been here. Please don't let me down...

starrynight26 · Post by **starrynight26** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 3:41 am

Thank you so much. THank you for noticing and thank you for spending time with me. You really don't know how much it means.

jamie28 · Post by **jamie28** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 4:05 am

tom, my sister did a lot wrong. she is a stuck up snob and not always a nice person.

but she did one thing incredibly right. she married you.

thanks for everything.

magebaby · Post by **magebaby** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 4:09 am

do you love me? if you do, why don´t you say it? you don´t say it back to me when i say it to you, so i think you mgiht be uncomfortable with me saying it. it´s so easy to sign a letter "love", but i wish i could hear it as a full sentence. but only if you mean it. i don´t know why it means so much to me.

--

please stop trying to call me.

--

you need to recognise that you have a problem and you need to get help. just go to the doc, get some therapy, maybe get some meds. stop saying "i told you so". i love you to bits, but i can´t help you if you won´t accept help.

--
mage

GLaDOS · Post by **GLaDOS** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:44 am

...........sajnálom hogy nem lehetek rosszul. Mert akkor te is rosszul leszel. Bocs. Na. Tényleg bocs, de van elég bajom enélkül is. Sajnálom, hogy tőlem vagy depressziós.

t_k · Post by **t_k** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 2:50 pm

most people: my dad's in town... he's a rapist. he's an asshole...

mum: i want to get to know him... he's my father, it's my right to find out for myself.

nick (bf): stay away from brittany? and gemma?

brittany: leavenickthefuckaloneyoudumbwhoreoriwillmakeyou so help me god.

[insert name here]: you need help... if you don't seek IT; IT will seek you. that's not how you want things to go, i hope.

nick (dad): did you do it?

starrynight26 · Post by **starrynight26** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:52 pm

bitch

musicofcacophony · Post by **musicofcacophony** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 10:18 pm

mum- look, i know you think everything's fine...but guess what...it bloody well isn't. i dont want a roomate or a friend...i want a mother! you disgust me, dont you have any morals??? you pretend you did this for us, you stupid bitch, but everyone knows you should have left the drunk bastard years ago...he's been hurting us for ages!!!! you did it for us? fuck you...you had an affair because you wanted to....you ran away and left us when we needed you most!!!!!!

ARGGGG!!!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!

ye gods...i didn't know i was that angry...

Bright Eyes · Post by **Bright Eyes** » Sat Jul 23, 2005 2:14 am

him - Thank you for not hating me even when I hate myself.

Mistress · Post by **Mistress** » Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:34 am

Nathan - There is something very wrong with the way I think. I have no idea what to do. Help me.

DecemberLivy · Post by **DecemberLivy** » Sun Jul 24, 2005 10:12 am

i feel disgusting and sick, why wont you just understand

fuzzy ducky · Post by **fuzzy ducky** » Sun Jul 24, 2005 11:49 am

A - Dont ever tell me to shut up again and No I wont go and find someone else.

C - Sorry I havent been round much since you had Baby, but just been feeling really shitty and low. Still luv ya muchly tho!! Hope Baby I is ok

DecemberLivy · Post by **DecemberLivy** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 12:16 pm

i know i'm not a good person, but i need you now more than ever

___fashioninjection · Post by **___fashioninjection** » Mon Jul 25, 2005 12:18 pm

i don't know what i want anymore. i want you to hug me but then the very thought makes my skin crawl.

why did he have to do that to me??

x

Reisu · Post by **Reisu** » Fri Jul 29, 2005 1:36 am

Mum... I'm sorry I failed you. I know I have everything, and I know you think so to. Because you gave me it, in some way or another.
I'm sorry I don't speak to you much. But it hurts me. Every time you and dad talk about how much you love me and what it was like when I was little and stuff, I can't deal. Don't you notice that my eyes well up and I excuse myself.. Or dont you want to notice? Does it hurt you as much as it hurts me to think of then...?

I'm sorry I can't be what I want to be, for you. But I'll keep trying. And when I fail, I'll pick myself up and I'll try again because I know you'd do the same for me, even if you knew it was hopeless.
I'm crying now.. Heh. I get that from you too.

..I love you, mum. Please.. Don't doubt it any more. Lauren. xx

A... I know, ever since we were kids we never really got on. I always felt like I was in your shadow- hey, I still do. Back when it was important to be smart and make mum and dad proud, you were the best. Now that its more important to enjoy yourself, youre the best. I think I blame too much on you... I dunno. But still, youre a good sister. Thanks for being there.

Millie... I don't know what to say.. It's been over a year now, hasn't it? I don't know how long doggie memories are, but I think you'd still remember me. I'd like to think you would, anyway. Because not a day goes by when I don't regret giving you away... I miss you. I miss you and the dumb way you'd always jump on me, and demand your food, I miss the way you whinged and got so excited every damn day when I took you out... I don't miss how you barked, though

M- Well.. What can I say? Truth is, I never know where I stand with you. You're great and everything, but I think we'd be even better friends if we both did some growing up. I know you say you don't lie, and that youre mean to your Mum because shes mean to you, but I know thats not true. But I don;t think any less of you, because youre the one thats getting me through this. So please.. Stop making life harder for yourself. I knwo its easy for me to say, but I don't want you to end up in my position- talking to you on a self harmboard where you cant even hear what I'm saying.

K- I'm sorry if it seems like I pick on you sometimes. Guess we have one of those teasing relationships, eh? You grab my tits, I throttle you, I get spazzed by Lu, you look smug, I throttle you.. Heh. I just want to say, even if I do treat you a bit different from the others, and 'm a bit more cold with you sometimes, its only because I know you wont get mad at me, and tell me to fuck myself. Sadistic, isnt it? But I think you understand this already. And you know I'd do the same for you, right?

L- I'm sorry you think I'm attention seeking.. Although I can see why. I know you don't like Amy. But I have nothing to do with her, okay? My problem is completely different to hers, and I'm not a lil' bitch either, as far as I know.

I'm not being dramatic. I know, maybe you just dont want to think of me being this.. Well, upset over stuff... But I am. And I'm dealing with it. So.. You don't have to worry.

R- I have no idea.
You can say that you love me all you want to, but whenever I answer I know I have no idea. I think of you as a friend. We have a heck of a lot in common, dont we? And something inside me tells me that I should be able to say, confidently, that I feel the same. But I can't right now.. I am a bitch, but sometimes I dont love my family. I rarely ever love myself. But you understand that... Maybe thats what I like about you? I dunno... Either way, I hope I'm not using you. Because you deserve to be loved back, and if its by me (God knows why me

) then.. So be it, I guess.

T- I cant do this any more. you know i got problems of my own- do you have to pile yours on me as well? youve got mr hobbs, donna, charlotte, senko, bekhi, your mum-you had katie and lou but you lost them, didnt you?- but you put it all on me? ffs! just cause i SEEM like im coping dosnt mean i am. so stop ringing me. stop turning up on my doorstep when you know i want to be alone. i cant live your life for you.
so stop telling the link about my SI. just because you like to tell everyone about it every second of every day dosnt mean i want to, or have to, and it dosnt mean that i feel it any less either (although i probably do)

oh, and one more thing- stop saying you love me. and rob. and katie. because i know you just want attention. attention i would gladly igve, and have been giving for a long long time now. enough is enough. its time to deal with it, or not.

bus

Things Left Unsaid LA

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