Get Real! EDs Are Illnesses, Not Choices

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:15 am

I found this on www.nationaleatingdisorders.org a bit tacky, but you never know.

10 Things You Can Do to Get Real

1. Create a list of all the things you like about who you are, read it, and add to it often.

2.Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from participating in activities that you enjoy.

3. Become aware of what your body helps you do each day. Remember that it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.

4. Think about all of the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently waste worrying about your appearance. Try one!

5. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good.

6. Remind yourself: Life is too short to waste time hating your body!
Consciously choose to avoid making comments about other people or yourself on the basis of body size or appearance.

7. Enjoy your favorite meal without feelings of guilt or anxiety over calories and fat grams.

9. Throw out the diet products in your house (e.g. fat-free cheese, diet pills, the scale).

10.Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired. Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty. Get Real.

kate_ · Post by **kate_** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:27 am

that sounds really easy.
if it were that easy, i don't think ed's would exist...
that advice is probably better for just like the average person...you know, love yourself the way you are. but if someone sat me down and told me those things seriously, i'd laugh in their face. ed's are soooo much more complicated than that...it's not just about physical appearance or losing weight, it's all the things that push you to that extreme that make up an ed.

BrokenGurl · Post by **BrokenGurl** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:42 pm

sometimes we dont see ourselves as the world see us....

Oblivion · Post by **Oblivion** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 9:09 pm

***WARNING** Not positive replies.

VowsOfSadness wrote: 2.Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from participating in activities that you enjoy.

I dont.....my scars do.

VowsofSadness wrote:3. Become aware of what your body helps you do each day. Remember that it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.

This instrument plays a sad and painful song.

VowsofSadness wrote:4. Think about all of the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently waste worrying about your appearance. Try one!

I dont worry about my appearance, i do it as punnishment for being me.

VowsofSadness wrote:5. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good.

If i didnt exercise to punnish myself or exhaust myself id never do it.

VowsofSilence wrote:7. Enjoy your favorite meal without feelings of guilt or anxiety over calories and fat grams.

Impossible

VowsofSilence wrote:10.Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired. Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty. Get Real.

This couldnt even happen in my dreams.

I guess im feeling a bit defeated with my ED.

angelic212 · Post by **angelic212** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:27 pm

found something on the website that might be helpful:

No Weigh!

- A Declaration of Independence from a Weight-Obsessed World -
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Signing this declaration of independence from a weight-obsessed world may help you accept your body's natural shape and size.

I, the undersigned, do hereby declare that from this day forward, I will choose to live my life by the following tenets. In so doing, I declare myself free and independent from the pressures and constraints of a weight-obsessed world.

I will accept my body in its natural shape and size.

I will celebrate all that my body can do for me each day.

I will treat my body with respect, giving it enough rest, fueling it with a variety of foods, exercising it moderately, and listening to what it needs.

I will choose to resist our society’s pressures to judge myself and other people on physical characteristics like body weight, shape, or size. I will respect people based on the qualities of their character and the impact of their accomplishments.

I will refuse to deny my body of valuable nutrients by dieting or using weight loss products.

I will avoid categorizing foods as either “good” or “bad.” I will not associate guilt or shame with eating certain foods. Instead, I will nourish my body with a balance of foods, listening and responding to what it needs.

I will not use food to mask my emotional needs.

I will not avoid participating in activities that I enjoy (i.e., swimming, dancing, enjoying a meal) simply because I am self-conscious about the way my body looks. I will recognize that I have the right to enjoy any activities regardless of my body shape or size.

I will believe that my self-esteem and identity come from within!!

SIGNATURE: _______________________ DATE:_________________

i recommend checking out this website that (VowsOfSadness) posted for us here is the link it seems like a good ed website :

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

Mindpoison · Post by **Mindpoison** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 2:44 am

Wow, reading that totally cured me of my ED that I've been struggling with for the past four years!

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 7:21 am

i find the replies to this a bit.... flip.
i know when i post i don't expect people to agree with me. it is nice if they at least attempt to see where i'm coming from though.

i don't see anywhere that it said '& doing these things will be an instant cure!'
i think they were meant as things that *you* can do to help control *your* behavior. that even though developing an ED might not be a conscious choice... it *can* be a choice to do things to get out of that. maybe it's not a comprehensive list. it's a start though. why mock it?

i could list off things to help with depression & si & bpd & etcetc. i'd not be saying those were the one & only magic cure. just would be offering suggestions. just as that list seems to be doing.

catlover · Post by **catlover** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:39 am

im really angry here atm. vows ahs posted something that mite be helpful and instead of saying ty or ur glad she found it helpful some of u have come in here and been blatently rude imo. if u dont agree wiht it then fine, but u dont have to be rude and sarcastic about it. im glad that it wasnt me who was the original poster becasue rite now i would be very very hurt and upset by the replies some of you ahve made. maybe you are being sarcastic and not meaning to be rude....but i have read ur replies as an insult and ...well ill stop ranting. im ashamed that there are people here, on a website i ahve recomended as supportive, who are so bluntly rude.

wows thank you for sharing that, yes tacky, but all true and things we should remember, and that all to often i forget.

angelic212 · Post by **angelic212** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:27 pm

i didnt want to get involed in this but since i posted here in the post i might as well!

im sorry for posting the above in my first reply i just though that it might help like plantt said its not an instant cure. maybe for the next time i will keep all the positive things that i think might help anyone to myself eventhough if that may sound selfish but i did go to that website that was posted and i found lots of helpful stuff, too bad that almost no one sees it helpful and sorry for taking part of something that wasnt even of my business , i thought i was helping i know that this post isnt directly to me but it seems like that and it makes me feel bad. i know that you might all think or say tough luck for me right ? well i fthats the case im not going to keep replying to any posts. i will just keep things to myself like i always do. sorry again for posting something that i thought that might be helpful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

angelic212 · Post by **angelic212** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:30 pm

VowsOfSadness: i just wanted to add one more thing. the link you posted and the info you posted was really helpful to me and my recovery and im also going to show it to my therapist and my nutritionist thanks for the link it really made me feel better.

caterpillargirl · Post by **caterpillargirl** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 8:59 pm

very much in agreement with plantt and cat here.

i'm curious as to why people who just shoot down every coping suggestion without even giving it a chance, and people who pick apart advice trying to find fault with it even bother coming to the coping forum in the first place

what is it you actually want from the coping board if that's your attitude towards recovery?

not to mention that it's just downright rude. i find mocking and being sarky about people's advice extremely rude.

or maybe i missed the part where vows said "read this, i have an instant cure for eating disorders!"

catlover · Post by **catlover** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 9:59 pm

well said michelle.

i ahve avoided this forum mostly the whole time ive been here because a lot of the stuff i know and at times i ahvent been prepared to try nything other than wat i know. i may have thought things liek some of the comment s above, but i never ever would have said them, even sarcastically because i knwo how hurtful i find responses like that. and i really do try to treat others how i want to be treated, i dont always suceed but i try.

and maria, imo u dont need to apologise for your reply. you were being nice and posting something you found helpful, and which i copied into word(as i ahve done the op) so i dont loose it. please dont stop sharing the things you find helpful. im sure there are many more peeps here who also may find them useful and would be grateful.

Oblivion · Post by **Oblivion** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 10:52 pm

Okay, i guess you might think im rude because of my earlier reply but i DID say it wasnt positive and i DID say sorry and that i was feeling defeated with my ED. I wasnt being sercastic in any way. I was putting out my thoughts to these comments at this time. I WAS hoping that someone could reply with some encouragement by telling me that they too thought like me but managed to over come it. I did not intend to upset of offend anyone.

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Wed Jul 06, 2005 11:17 pm

I WAS hoping that someone could reply with some encouragement by telling me that they too thought like me but managed to over come it.
--maybe state exactly that

easier for people to know what you're looking for that way.

if you were giving someone a list of suggestions & they were countering every suggestion with a reason that it wouldn't work... then i'd guess you'd feel as defeated as them.

people have got through EDs. people on this board even.
I'm not sure if Angelical_Dreamer would be interested but i know she's dealt with EDs for quite awhile & she might have some advice for you.

what are things that you've found helpful in the past? have you ever tried the things on that list? did you check the site given?

angelic212 · Post by **angelic212** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 12:32 am

plantt said:

people have got through EDs. people on this board even.
I'm not sure if Angelical_Dreamer would be interested but i know she's dealt with EDs for quite awhile & she might have some advice for you.

im certainly interested in helping others or offering helpulf advice about eds i have struggled with an ed for 13 years but now im recovering each day i make a step foward. Spencer if you need someone to talk to about eds if you need support ..... dont hesitate to pm me or email me even. i would love to help out . if you havent checked my website i would recommend checking it , the link its in my signature, my website its called my reflection its all about eds and has great deal of info, maybe it will help you , if you let it help you. i know recovery has its ups and downs, and its a daily battle that we all have to fight every day its the same with self harm. im going to be adding new information on my site this week so please make sure to at least check it out it doesnt have to be now , but im here to support you and everyone who is struggling with an eating disorder. i truely understand what a person goes through with an eating disorder, i understand a hundred percent about anorexia, bulimia , compulsive eatiing , every thing that has to do with eds, every feeling and emotion thats felt along the journey. please if any one wants help or advice or just someone to talk to about eds im here, ofcourse im not a professional im just like you a person who struggles with an eating disorder at the moment with anorexia, im recovering and i do believe recovery is possible. with that said i hope that this is ok to post here , i just thought that i should say something regarding to this post.

i hope to hear from any of you .
dont feel alone in your battle.
we can beat this ed
you are not alone
we are in this together!

love always maria

lillfive · Post by **lillfive** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 3:06 am

Actually, Vows, I thought that was great. Practicing some of these declarations is one reason I am in recovery and no longer a practicing bulimic.

Good post I thought

xxmary

Oblivion · Post by **Oblivion** » Thu Jul 07, 2005 6:51 am

waffles wrote:i dont understand why people have to be so rude!

thank u for the post!

Gimmie a break! I said im sorry! What more do you people want from me?

Angelical, the link to your web site wont work for me.

mallie · Post by **mallie** » Fri Jul 08, 2005 2:54 pm

I don't think anyone is suggesting that the ideas posted will cure an eating disorder. But they do really look like things that could help anyone take steps to feel better about their body.

I'd like to challenge people to try these things. All ten at once could be overwhelming, pick just one or two to start with and really give it a try, not just half-heartedly but really try, and then post about it here. It would be wonderful to have some direct feedback on things. Who is game to try it?

Licentia Poetica · Post by **Licentia Poetica** » Sat Jul 09, 2005 8:31 am

When I post something that I think is helpful I do it for two reasons:

1) Because if it helped me, it might help others, and

2) Because I get satisfaction for helping people out, and I like to hear that I did help in some way at least.

I feel BUS is a place for both getting help and expressing yourself. In a thread like this I'd like to see both the people trying to help and the people trying to be helped get something from here.

I know that sometimes when I feel down, I tend to be argumentative of the suggestions that are given to me. But sometimes I try to at least consider them, if not that I think they might work, but to give the person a sense of satisfaction in trying to help me out.

Although reading through the list, it did cross my mind that these suggestions are very basic and a little corny. But who am I to call something like this corny:

Vows wrote:10.Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired.

... when I doubt that I could even do it.

I'm learning that some of the most basic things are often the most difficult.

Who's up for a challenge?

Tamrick · Post by **Tamrick** » Sat Jul 09, 2005 12:17 pm

Just wanted to thank people on this post for keeping their cool. It is obviously a sensitive issue (even the name of the post implies controversy) Please remain sensitive to everyone here - obviously people are struggling with issues and need to have their feelings heard. As long as you think before you write about how people might feel then things will remain pleasant.

With coping methods in general there will be people who will use the method successfully and others who will find it is not a good method for them. If you say the method is not good then please state why it didn't work for you - this means that you must have at least tried it without being too judgemental at the start.

Tamrick

bus

Get Real! EDs Are Illnesses, Not Choices

Get Real! EDs Are Illnesses, Not Choices

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