Is not hiding scars/marks wrong?

Secretly fallin apart · Post by **Secretly fallin apart** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:53 am

This was something I had to think about seriously in March when we had a change of uniform at work and had to wear short sleeved shirts or a huge ass jumper and one day i just got too hot and from then on i've always worn short sleeves at work. If i have fresh cuts, wear a sweatband over them but otherwise i figure people can just deal with it. I never wear short sleeves around my family, but at work, round friends ect then yeah i will. I wonder if it does bother/trigger other people, people i dont know that is, and if thats the case then i feel bad

claire · Post by **claire** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 5:39 am

i don't see it as wrong ... in fact i kinda don't really cover my scars up ... as everyone else is generally say (well most peoples methinks) i think cuts should be covered. but thats on me. if i was wlaking down the street and saw somebody with cuts like mine i don't think i would care, i would notice sure, and think about it, but i wouldn't think they should have longer sleeves.

i only do becuase i don't want my family to know, my school uniform tends to dictate what i wear so i don't have a choice in the summer, with my friends i don't care, most of htem don't know ic ut, and they're too unobservent to notice... meh ...

okay this is making no sense.. im going to go

xoxo
Claire

kate_ · Post by **kate_** » Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:24 am

no way! it's absolutely not wrong at all!

if someone doesn't like the way my arms look, they can look away. i used to be ashamed/embarrassed...but it doesn't matter! i don't care what other people think...they can draw whatever conclusions they want about me, but that doens't mean they know who i am at all.

about covering cuts...i think that most people would think that's a good idea, because that avoids questions and stares and unwanted attention...because open wounds are a bit more obvious than scars.

but really, it's the same deal. if my arms are bright red instead of faded, the only difference it should make to people who see it is how much it stands out right? fact is, whether i cut last night or last month, i still cut. just because it's healed doesn't make it different..only in it's appearance. the feelings and pain are still behind it. i guess it depends on how much people want to avoid others noticing..

badgirl22 · Post by **badgirl22** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:32 am

I voted its not wrong. Although if you do show your scars you have to be ready to answer questions from people cause most peopel I know will and do ask if you have a scratch or something on your arms or legs that are showing..I pretty much lie to them all so they all don't freak out, but if you know the people well maybe you can trust them enough to do it..I personally wear long sleeves no matter what I am doing except for when I work out. that is where I have to make sure things are ok with people around me. Its hard especailly if you have new scars but with old ones, ya..I think wearing what you want to wear is fine. ITs just easier to hide them I personally think. ANyway, thats what I think.
-Badgirl22

catlover · Post by **catlover** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 1:54 pm

i havent read all the replies so sorry if im repeating stuff bur here is my opinion...

o wear short sleeves around and about and out a lot of the time. i can cope with the reactions i get form strangers when they see my scars and i refuse to hide them away in shame when if i dont want to be honest i can always make up an accident as explaination. my friends all know and therefore it isnt a problem.

i dont wear short sleeves if i am going to be around children, it isnt fair to let them see and wonder and start asking questions imo, they dont need to learn about things like si before they come across it in some other way. if i am going to be in a situation were i will want to wear short seeves i discuss it with their parents first and get there preferences on how to deal with ny questions that may arise.

i also dont wear short sleeves if i am going to be around someone else who may find seeing scars triggering, because it would be unfair of me to intentionally triger them, and imo refusing to cover up would be doing that. sometimes it cant be avoided, if i dont knwo im gonna see peeps or if they are strangers or watever but yeh,

the other time i wear long sleeves is when wounds are fresh, noone who doesnt si understands were we are coming from, we can explain but they still dont get it. therefore imo it is fairer to cover up fresh wounds even around people i know who know. (by fresh i mean very new, or still red and scabbed over etc, or still wiht sutures).

i cover up, not because i am ashamed nymore, but because to not cover up is imo disrespectful and inconsiderate of others in certain situations and sometimes because it is the easiest thing for me to do in order to avoid a mass of questions etc and having to explain to someone who cant even begin to imagine or understand si.

DecemberLivy · Post by **DecemberLivy** » Sun Jul 17, 2005 5:33 am

i think it depends...

my scars are not invisable, but thankfully they are becoming fainter and fainter thanks to medication, creams, special plasters. when i am at home i dont have to cover my my scars, my mum knows and she doesn't mind, my little brother is totally oblivious to it and my big brother never even notices i'm alive anyway so he's not a problem.
but at school i like to cover up, the same as when i'm outside. in the summer its a nightmare but i suppose it must be done.

because it is so hot in london this summer i am finding it increasingly difficult to hide my scars (they go up my arms) so I have been buying very thin jumpers to wear so as not to get hot.
somedays, i just want to take off my jumper and walk around freely, but even if i did, i would feel so paranoid that everyone was looking at me that i'd probably get trigged, so its hard for me.

i dont think its 'wrong' to want people to see your scars but i think it depends. If a girl has a problem and she is SIing and she desperatly wants someone to care so she wears her sleves up for one lesson so people can get a litle glimpse of it. that is ok and perfectly acceptable.

however... i know a girl... who comes into school with a tiny self inflicted scratch on her arm almost screaming to the whole class "oh no! look at me, i scratched myself because i'm so depressed!" that girl is a fake, she will do anything for attention, honestly. but the fact that this girl is so open about something that is not a problem for her makes other girls in the class (me and a friend) who SI very uncomfortable about it.
this girl will skip classes to go to the school nurse and moan for litrally the whole day to her. "oh my life is so shit, oh i think i'm going to end it all" its just an act. she found out about us and now she thinks this is cool... makes me feel kinda ill.

-Kel- · Post by **-Kel-** » Sun Jul 17, 2005 9:04 am

scars are ok.. i mean you cant hide your body forever, but i wouldnt show cuts.. i mean ideally they should be dressed.. and also i personaly dont want the added attention.

Martin · Post by **Martin** » Sun Jul 17, 2005 4:01 pm

Scars are okay to show.

Fresh cuts... it depends. If you're around small children, it's probably a good diea to cover them up. If you're around people who will be triggered by it, please, PLEASE cover them up. Other than that... it's up to you.

appreciatebrandnew · Post by **appreciatebrandnew** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 1:26 pm

mum taught my that fuck people its your body and theres people with all sorts

silvertears · Post by **silvertears** » Mon Jul 18, 2005 2:35 pm

I said no its not wrong b/c for me if i cut on my arms, its one like one cut and its small. I can explain it away or no one notices. My scars, for taht I don't care who sees. But for my legs they are bad and I have lots of big scars so I wear bord shorts in the poola nd nobody ever sees them.

LuLu · Post by **LuLu** » Tue Jul 19, 2005 5:32 am

U can only hide scars so long before it becomes too tiring or weather gets too hot. The scars are not exactly going to go away & sometimes the scars fade enough so that ppl cannot see them w/o looking.
As for the fresh cuts, I think they should be covered-you have to think about the people-friends/family/ppl (especially kids) who idolize you-Think how it makes them feel.

jaded melody · Post by **jaded melody** » Wed Jul 20, 2005 3:21 pm

I think its ok to not hide your scars...

Except around small children who are too young to understand.

I dont think its "wrong" to not hide new cuts. But i think its slightly insensitive because it can make people very uncomfortable. And i dont advise anyone to go around showing off scars on purpose.

but its ok to wear short sleeves and stuff.
SIing doesnt make us any less free people.

GrassHopper · Post by **GrassHopper** » Thu Jul 21, 2005 8:15 am

I voted it depends , i personaly feel to each his own if you feel comfortable showing your scars or fresh cuts go for it . Somone said about there being a stigmata about this type of thing out in the public and i also feel there is but in my opinion if your strong enough to show your cuts in public why would you care. I personaly dont even show my scars let alone cuts , today was 35 celcius out and i wore a long sleeve shirt, but i dont even know if im getting my point accross anymore here so im just gonna stay typing.

Unleash the Bats · Post by **Unleash the Bats** » Fri Jul 22, 2005 11:58 am

i hide mine, but when its hot i have no choice. the scars dont bother me so much, but healing or freash cuts, ive always hidden and would never dream of showing to the world.

raevy · Post by **raevy** » Sat Jul 23, 2005 6:38 am

I chose 'no', but I never show scars that can't be explained away.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jul 24, 2005 1:31 am

i personally cover mine unless they are faint enought that i nkow they wont attract attention

i am a very private person and for me my self harm is a private thing i dont want attention drawn to it

as for everyone else I think it's the choice of the person
if you feel more comfortable showing them than that's fine for you.

theboldeditalics · Post by **theboldeditalics** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 8:30 am

Thanks for all the replies

anngie · Post by **anngie** » Thu Jul 28, 2005 5:42 pm

it all depends on how comfortable you are in your own skin. when you expose them you have to be ready for someone to ask. personally i don't care and wear whatever i want. i try to dress in a way that is original. therefore, people are more likely to look at what i'm wearing then at my scars. it can be a good thing. lots of people have told me that they admire the fact that i'm not trying to hide who i really am. but like i said it all depends on the individual.

HiddenByLies · Post by **HiddenByLies** » Sat Jul 30, 2005 9:20 am

i wouldn't say that it's 'wrong' it mostly just has to depend on the person... and how they feel about their scars...

Frozen · Post by **Frozen** » Tue Aug 02, 2005 12:51 pm

Jaded_Melody wrote:I think its ok to not hide your scars...

Except around small children who are too young to understand.

young children are the ones i feel i DONT have to hide around. hey dont understand, so you can say something easily, they will take your word for it, and not bother you!

bus

Is not hiding scars/marks wrong?

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