the crazyness never ends... (Language and SA)

[Guest]

Ok, I am SOOOO fucken ready to quit my job. This one mom wich is really the only mom who uses our baby sitting service that i cant stand has some of the most mest up kids i know.

And the manager at the club is mental too.


Ok, here is the incedent... (warning SA trigs)

We have this 4 year old boy and he started humping his 1 year old sister. Thats all im going to say i felt so sick i wanted to go to the washroom and puke. What i did was grabbed the boy by the arms and told him to get away from his sister. My co worker also told him to stay away from his sister. I went to the club manager and told her about what happend. She said that we cant tell the mom what happend cause the mom will think we are trying to blame her son.

I was so fucken ready to quit. I cant belive the manager wants to turn a blind eye. I feel like just calling the children's aid and reporting it and if it comes back that it was me who called im going to just say i did it for the little girl. I cant just sit back and let her get abused by her brother. And if they fire me for this, I will tell them to fucken go to hell and im going to totaly write to all the local and provincial newspapers about it.

Chey.

[NobodyToYou]

I am actually more concerned for the four year old. If he was engaging in sexual play at that age (more than normal exploration) then chances are that he has been sexually abused himself and is just acting out with his sister what has happened to him. Very scary thought.
I hope you are ok...please try to take care of yourself and talk through the issues this is bringing up in you, like the wish to protect and the feelings of being ignored and angry.
I hope you can get through this and that the kids are ok. Do other adults think it is as much of an issue as you do? If it were me, I would want to check my reactions against those of other adults to make sure I wasn't overeacting. You probably aren't...but since I wasn't there, I can't really say what happened. I am sorry....this has to be so hard.

[emnatic]

that sounds really hard..but like peppermint im very concenred about eh boy too...defintly if its that serioous i think u shud report it altohugh it mite put u in a bad situation with the boss
take care of yourself this must be really hard

[Guest]

well, i thought of a way around the issue. Apperently one of the other moms saw the boy do it too and she had came to talk to me today. She knew both the kids and the mom and said she will talk to the family.

Peppermint

[mallie]

Someone speaking to the mother is a good idea. When this other woman speaks to her, perhaps you could tell her she can speak to you as well if she wants to, as you've observed the behaviour too. Speaking to the mother and finding out if she is aware of it and can do anything is a better option than going straight to child services.

As the others have said, there should be high concern for the boy as well, as sexualised behaviour at that age is not normal, and he could very well have been abused himself and taught that behaviour. He wouldn't know that doing that to his sister is wrong, he cannot be blamed for it, but does need help. Just because it isn't his "fault" so to speak, doesn't mean it isn't something that needs to be stopped.

[Tangles]

Clearly, the 4 year old boy is either being sexually abused, has witnessed the sexual abuse of another child, or has witnessed sexual behaviour between consenting adults. Any of these situations is very bad news and needs to be investigated. Sexually aggressive behaviour by a 4 year old boy, directed at his baby sister, is almost certainly indicative of sexual abuse.

His behaviour is most likely a childish attempt to make sense of what he has seen or had done to him, or a cry for help.

I would urge you to contact child protective services immediately and inform them that you would like to make a report of suspected child abuse. If you dont do it, perhaps nobody else ever will.

I comment from the perspective of an adult who once was a 3 year old in daycare, experiencing sexual abuse and displaying behavioural changes. One of the child care workers apparently spoke to my mother, but did not make a report. No further action was taken, and the abuse continued for ANOTHER TEN YEARS.

Please, try to view the incident from the child's perspective. He's asking for your help. Whether or not you talk to his parents is a matter of your discretion, but please, make a report. It would only cost you a phone call and a few minutes of your day, but for the child, it could make the difference of a lifetime.

With love and understanding,

Claire

[silent_scream]

It isn't that strange for kids to act that out (sexual abuse or not) and it isn't sexual abuse if a four year old is doing that to his sister: he doesn't even know what sex is....

Talking to the mother is a good idea.

[Guest]

If it was just the boy i think talking to the mom would be fine for now, but only a couple weeks ago the oldest of the 3 siblings (who is about 10) started talking about very innapropreate topics and seemed like she wanted to tell us the reason her step father left. My co worker who talked with me today said that the boy's father had molested the oldest child and her brother. The mom is aware of this. Problem is the corts some how think its still important that the boy see his dad. I am going to make a passing comment when i see the mom next, it wont be out right saying her son did anything, but i will be like so how was the boy's time at his dad's (he just got back last week wich might explain his actions the other day) If she askes me then i can say something but what i might say is yah i had a rough time going from family to family, i had to have therapy for that, cause then i can maby see if she is getting help for her kids. If she isnt then what i might do is talk to someone in family cervices and say that i care deaply for the mom and her kids (i do, even though they tend ot annoy me a lot) and i dont want them torn apart but i wish someone would get them counceling and therapy.

Chey

[Slightly Crazy]

Well there is CLEARLY evidence that he is being abused and if he is still seeing his Dad then i think its duty of care to tell someone. Its people that stay silent and turn a blind eye that let this kind of stuff go on

[Guest]

Well, your right, im not going to turn a blind eye. I am going to aproach it with care and tack, and not full of emotions. Its probably the best way to handle this situation.

Chey

[Guest]

^^^
or any situation for that matter.