Is not hiding scars/marks wrong?

theboldeditalics · Post by **theboldeditalics** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 4:48 am

I was just wondering what the majority of SI'rs actually think about hiding scars. I think that it's your own personal decision, that you shouldn't feel imprisoned by clothes just because it might make someone else feel a little wierd. But I guess it can hinder you in some aspects also, if people are too freaked out then they won't talk to you or they'll talk badly about you, so I don't know.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 5:37 am

It depends

I certainly don't think cutters should have to hide their scars if it is NOT their choice. It may be scary at first but I don't cover up my scars. ON THE OTHER HAND if you have recent wounds (meaning they are not scars they are cuts) then its just my personal opinnion that you should cover it up.

Not covering up scars isnt seeking attention it's living life and moving on!

Vows

Forget Me · Post by **Forget Me** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 5:53 am

i put no, but then i read VowsofSadness' post. and i agree that not hiding scars is okay, and it is entirely up to you, but maybe it is a bit inconsiderate to not cover up new ones. i wouldn't say it wrong... just a bit obtuse.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 6:14 am

i don't hide my scars, or cuts (if they're on my arm)

Priceless · Post by **Priceless** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:50 am

VowsOfSadness wrote: ON THE OTHER HAND if you have recent wounds (meaning they are not scars they are cuts) then its just my personal opinnion that you should cover it up.

Why???
its not a personal attack, im just wondering why???

I think you should feel free to wear what you want, and feel free to show youre scars if you want, or even new cuts its youre body, do what you like.

misery · Post by **misery** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:06 pm

eugh, summer's approaching...

well i guess it depends. there was a thread about this some time ago. it just entirely depends on the situation.

Dungeon_Lilly · Post by **Dungeon_Lilly** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 6:06 pm

It should be up to each person what they feel most comfortable with. Unless i'm with my family or people I don't know I rarely cover my scars

Mindpoison · Post by **Mindpoison** » Mon Jun 27, 2005 8:19 pm

I don't think a person's wardrobe should have to depend on their coping methods. I'm comfortable with my scars so I don't go through any effort to hide them (unless I'm with family because it makes them uncomfortable and I'd rather respect their feelings towards it). If I had any recent cuts I would hide them because I would feel embarassed and self-conscious but not because I worry about making others uncomfortable.

TainTeD Xx gRAcE · Post by **TainTeD Xx gRAcE** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 3:21 am

I don't hide my sacrs or new cuts anymore... I don't care how they make other people feel. if they ask about them though, i lie. Because I don't wnat my mom to find out again. I never hide them at home and they aren't noticed.

polmath · Post by **polmath** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:13 am

I'm kind of torn after this. I agree that it's not WRONG to not hide your scars, and maybe not wrong to hide fresh cuts. You shouldn't have any more responsibility to hide it than someone who was in a disfiguring accident.

*However*, you also cannot expect people to get over it, or be frustrated when they're pointed out. An extreme case, but like someone walking around with a hole in their stomach, and not expecting people to turn away in disgust, point at it, or ask them about it. If you're going to exercise your right, just be prepared for the consequences; yes there's a stigma, be aware of it, and ready for it.

Plus, there's probably some body-language, non-verbal signals you send. If it's covered, it could tell someone that you don't want to talk about specifics; verses if it's not covered, it's ok to point it (b/c you could have just as easily covered it). But that'd depend on who you're talking to......

t_k · Post by **t_k** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:04 am

I voted yes but I think I probably should have voted the unsure one...

I have nothing against people who display their blatently obvious scars or their new injuries to the world.

I can understand not wanting to have to hide them and all that but... It can be triggery to other people, it can lead to awkwardness for the person who's injuries they are, it can be awkward, it can be scary, it can seem attention seeking.

It's the person's choice but, personally, I wouldn't just walk down the street with my arms or legs on full display until the injuries/ scars are much less obvious.

magebaby · Post by **magebaby** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 10:06 am

If you're going to exercise your right, just be prepared for the consequences; yes there's a stigma, be aware of it, and ready for it.

this is also true if you cover up. don't you get questions about long sleaves in really hot weather?

i think you should do whatever you personally are comfortable with. i stopped SIing on my arms a long time ago because i didn't want my family to know tht i SIed. but i don't hide old scars. i get self-conscious about the scars on my thighs if i wear a swimming suit or something, but that's because they're more visible than the ones on my arms.

i'd like to eventually reach a point where i don't worry about whether people can see my scars at all (on my thighs or arms), because for me that would reflect that i had moved on a bit. but that's just me personally, and everyone should do what feels comfortable for them.

mage

polmath · Post by **polmath** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:07 am

magebaby wrote:
If you're going to exercise your right, just be prepared for the consequences; yes there's a stigma, be aware of it, and ready for it.
this is also true if you cover up. don't you get questions about long sleaves in really hot weather?
mage

A fair point

I guess it's just a different set of conseq., it is summer and we're all getting those questions...didn't think of that

babyflutterby · Post by **babyflutterby** » Tue Jun 28, 2005 12:33 pm

i dont hide the scars on my arms any more cuz theyr hardly noticable, cut i du hide the new cuts and scars on my wrist cuz
1. my family dont have a clue i si
2. it feels lyk it privet and that no1 has a right 2 c
3. no1 rely wants 2 c my fuked up wirsts
and 4. i dont rely want ppl 2 no the real me

CelophaneFlower · Post by **CelophaneFlower** » Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:43 pm

Depends...

I think that if you have fresh wounds then yes, you should cover them up. If they are scars then no, you should be able to wear what you wanna wear.

leensie · Post by **leensie** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 12:14 am

i put no. i hide them all winter, but summer its just too hot. personally i hide new ones because theyre waaayy to obvious and i don't want anyone seeing them, but i don't think you should have to cover up new cuts. if people don't wanna see them, they don't have to look.

mallie · Post by **mallie** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 2:54 am

I don't think it is wrong to not hide scars, but there typically are times in everyones life where it is a good idea to. Most of the time, I don't bother hiding scars anymore, but I do have to expect to get strange looks from people. I know this, and am reasonably okay with it. What I shouldn't have to expect or accept is people hounding me for answers as to why - if they ask and I say it is a long story, or I don't want to talk about it, or it is nothing - I should not have to explain further. Or if I say that it is something that I did to myself, I do not believe that people have the right to pressure me to give my reasons. Some people believe that they have the right to pry and attempt to force people to answer these questions. Typically I am happy to answer such things from people I know well, but they don't tend to try and coerce me into giving details as to why, or not accept what I do say.

I've gotten many comments over the last few years, but mostly people just stare. If I'm out with my younger sister, she notices people staring and gets terribly offended on my behalf. My older sister on the other hand, will not go out with me if I have a sleeveless top on because it embarasses her. That attitude hurts me more than any of the staring or snickering or prying questions from strangers.

I do not believe that scars should need to be covered in all circumstances, but generally think that new cuts or scabs should be. Firstly because of the risk of infection to oneself, but also because it is an unhealed wound which can be seen as a source of infection or contamination to other people. That could just be part of my issues, as I am extremely squeamish about blood and such (other peoples, my own does not worry me). Healed things are in the past, fresh wounds are in the present and especially for people that know you are a bigger source of worry and concern. That concern can be valid, but unless you're willing to explain yourself, and accept any reasonable help offered, I don't think it is really fair to show that to other people.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Thu Jun 30, 2005 5:28 pm

I think people should do what they are comfortable with. It is important to realize that other people will notice and might have less than favorable reactions. Covering cuts is a good idea for health reasons and because most people don't like lokking at any kind of fresh wound. There are also certain times when I think it is just more respectful to cover up (like in a Church)-basically when there is somehting important going on--dressing on the conservative side can be a sign of respects, scars or not.

Territorial Hawk · Post by **Territorial Hawk** » Sun Jul 03, 2005 2:50 am

It's a personal decision - I wear short sleeves when I'm not going to see anyone I know. If I'm at work or around my family, I wear long sleeves.

I only wear short sleeves around people that I know, if they're accepting of what it is I do. There's a few people like that, and so I'm comfortable around them.

It's a comfort zone thing.

GLaDOS · Post by **GLaDOS** » Sun Jul 03, 2005 7:25 am

Scars are OK, but cuts... I don't know. I don't think cuts should be shown. They're just not a nice sight.

bus

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