*SI* no one takes me seriously

[SouthernComfort]

I used to recieve counceling for my SI, then I saw a psychologist, then my mom pulled me out. I have si'd for about 2 years or so. My mother figured nothing was helping, why go. My sister (who has schitophrania (sp)) saw the same psychologist. It's about 25 miles to go there one way, 50 round trip. I have this feeling my mom got tired of taking me.

So we tried a new therapist, only I didnt want to go to this one. I told my mom I wouldnt talk if she was in the room, and she was, so I didnt talk. At which point I was labeled a lost cause in 30 seconds and sent home. My mom sees that psychologist now because I drive her insane I guess.

Now I don't have one, and really really need one.

I had a break in the time all this was going on when I was ok for awhile with my SI. Then I couldnt help but go back to it.

When school was in session I talked to a teacher about it. She knew I had a mild ED at one time as I had told her about that, but she also knew I cut, as I didnt care about who knew when I first started my alternative school this january. So she had questioned me on it, and I told her my mother no longer thinks I need help.

I have tried to talk to her, many times, seeing as insurence wont cover the cost of therapy without her consent. and she wont. and my dad isn't in the picture here. I'm 16 so my word doesnt work with my insurence company and I do not have the funds to cover the therapy I need.

She doesnt think I need help, yet she see's the marks I have and knows what they are from. I dont understand why she wont allow me to get treatment. I have talked to her many many many times about it, yet she always says she'll do it later, or some other time. And they never come. Yet she goes to therapy, as does my younger sister who's 9.

I need to know how I can get her to take me seriously, I'm running out of ideas and hope, and the more I go witout counceling the more afraid I am that one day I am going to snap.


sorry this is so long, it's about 3 1/2 months worth of stuff on this, and I really need some advice.

Maybe I should have put this under Bodies Under Seige, but I'm not sure.

At any rate: advice? ever been where I am? Support?

Help.

[mephistopheles]

Hey, sorry things are rough. Could you get your teacher to talk to your Mother? Maybe someone from your school talking to her would make her see how serious things are getting and how much you want help. It seems strange to me that she doesn't want to help you, has she stopped your sister seeing a psychologist? Because if she's schizophrenic then that's probably not a good thing and might convince the insurance company that your Mother doesn't actually know what's best for you...?

I don't really understand the whole American system, which is where I guess you are, but would the word of your school be enough to convince the insurance company? Or an assessment by an ordinary doctor?

I don't do American I'm afraid...sorry if this is no use...


n

[PassingCloud]

i agree, get someone to talk to her - some "grown up" as she doesn't seem to listen to her children. anybody at school, maybe even the principal and also let them explain to her why she CANNOT be present when you'Re at therapy - it'S your therapy, your thing, she shouldn't be present... that's such an odd thing to do.

and keep coming to us. for the longest time i tried without therapy and it does work without as well, should the plan not work out. there's tons of wise, knowledgeable people out there who can tell you a lot of good, positive things, they don'T have to be a "professional" to be able to help you. just keep looking and i am sure you'll find somebody you can talk to, online or irl.

take care of yourself, ok? and keep us updated!
-cloudya

[polmath]

What your mom is doing just doesn't make sense. Definetly, one of her peers needs to talk to her, because it doesn't sound like she's looking out for YOUR best interests. This is one of those things that your counselor and especially principal at school might be able to help with.

I doubt it's as extreme, but have you heard of Katie Wernecke? If not, she's the girl that was diagnosed with Hodgkin's disease and was placed in protective custody when her parents refused to seek treatment upon learning the cancer was out of remission. I'm by no means advocating something that extreme, but I am trying to point out that your mom does have a responsibility to look out for YOUR best interests. If she's not doing that, you need to tell someone who can help you, which is what a good administrator through you school should be able to help you.

I hope you find something that works, and you get the help your seeking. As PassingCloud said, keep us updated...

[NobodyToYou]

Is there a counselor at your school? I know you have talked to the teacher, and that sounds like a good idea. I would keep doing that. But talking to a counselor might be a good idea too, since he/she might know of ways to get inexpensive therapy or may be able to give you regular therapy there. At least it would be another adult who could talk to your mom.

So we tried a new therapist, only I didnt want to go to this one. I told my mom I wouldnt talk if she was in the room, and she was, so I didnt talk. At which point I was labeled a lost cause in 30 seconds and sent home

I did want to make a comment about this one...I can easily understand why you wouldn't want to talk with your mom in the room. However, reading between the lines, I think the T may have decided that the problem in the family was not you, but your mom. Thus the T is still seeing your mom and not seeing you. I know that if someone is being forced to come, it is probably wasted time. So the T may have been saying therapy at that point was a waste, not that you were hopeless. I don't know for sure, since I wasn't there...It is also possible that the T was not very bright and didn't realize that you were being forced to go.
I guess keep trying to talk to your mom, but get some other adults to talk to her as well. It sounds pretty important to you to find some help. Please keep trying...

[plantt]

besides getting the teacher or someone to suggest it to your mom... i'm wondering if maybe letting your mom know that you're willing to work with a therapist & talk would help... since in the past you've been to a therapist that you didn't want to go to... maybe your mom figures it'd be the same with a new one. maybe an 'you know... i'm really struggling... i know that the last therapist didn't work out... i'd like to try it again though' or some such. & you may have already tried that anyhow... hope something works out

[SouthernComfort]

Thanks for all the comments and advice, it means a lot.

To answer some questions: Yes my sister still does go to her psychologist. Which confuses me as to why she can go and I cannot. I feel as though my mother thinks since I am not schizo I do not need to go. My pschologist has mentioned to her that meds may help with my depression and anxiety, but she never called to continue that appt. It's always the same with her saying she'll do something later, no matter when I ask her, and it never happens.

There is not a guidance councelor at my school. I go to an alterntaive contiunation one, and the closest thing we have to that is a principle. We're out of classes untill september anyways... I'm hoping this is resolved by then, but if now thats a good option, to talk to him and see if he'll talk to my parents.

It confuses me that my mom won't let me get help, but I think it's her way opf denying it maybe? I dont know. I feel kind of pushed aside because she is always doing things with my sister regarding her mental issues, and mine are overlooked.

Thank you all for the advice, I'm going to look into what it takes to leagally overpower my parents and still have it covered.

I am definately relieved by being able to post on here and just have people understand. That alone makes me feel a lot better. Thanks already guys, you have no idea how much it means to me.

Anyways, I'm hoping that I come up with something relatiely soon to sort this situation out with my mom. It's just annoying, and I feel (as I have said before) sort of ushed aside and left to deal with till later, and later just doesnt seem to come.

[NobodyToYou]

I think you are probably right about being pushed aside...I don't want to make you more upset with your mother than you already are, although you have reason to be upset. But it does sound like your mom is overwhelmed and thinks that your problems are easiest to ignore or put off...maybe she does know they are real, but doesn't think she can deal with them right now, so she ignores them. I don't know...but I think it would be a good idea to keep speaking up for yourself. Don't play the game she is playing (ignore it and it will go away)...because it won't get you the help you need. Please speak up for yourself.
Another question...this may be a bit strange...does your insurance have a limit on the number of mental health sessions provided per family per year? Because some do...and if that is the case, your mom may be choosing to spend them on your sis and herself instead of you. If that is the problem, it may be time to find someone who works on a sliding scale (fees are based on your income, not a standard amount) and go around the insurance entirely.
I don't know the answer to your situation, but I hope you can find a way to get the help you need. You are worth helping. Keep speaking up for yourself...I hope it gets better soon.

[SouthernComfort]

Another question...this may be a bit strange...does your insurance have a limit on the number of mental health sessions provided per family per year?.

No. Each person can have as many as they need, as long as they have autherization (kinda like a referral, or a percription. Something that gives the insurence company reason to cover it) and I have that, I just dont have parental consent. Which sucks. And which is why I am confused.

I definately think that my mom is sort of trying to ignore the problem, which makes me feel bad, because she wouldnt do that to my sister, I dont know why she does it to me.

Anyways, thanks for listening and the advice