grr. i'm just so frustrated and i'm feeling so low. i don't even know why. i think it's because of the lack of something to do with my day... all the thoughts that i used to have about not eating, and about binging and purging are coming up. all the thoughts about cutting are coming up. i just want to starve myself so that i can have so freaking control over my life... i don't even really feel fat i just want to not eat for control. things aren't even that bad and i have no reason to feel this way, but yet i do. i'm so fucked up. i know that i can't cut because people will find out, they always seem to. i have camp in less than 2 weeks so i def can't do that... showering w/ other girls. oh bad bad bad. so i guess i just won't eat... i have to find some way to control these emotions. i don't even know what emotions i am feeling right now... i'm so confused... i just want to slice myself up so bad... it would feel so good, but i can't. GRRR.
any imput would be welcome...
*hugs*
Ellen
confused...imput welcome SP *ED*SI*
- bonita_05
- creating your space
- Posts: 194
- Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 11:41 pm
- Location: Kansas
- Contact:
confused...imput welcome SP *ED*SI*
SI Free~June 23 2005
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- BrokenGurl
- growing roots
- Posts: 859
- Joined: Sat May 28, 2005 4:14 am
- Location: Oklahoma
I just wanted you to know that i read and I'm sorry that things are so tough atm. Just think about how much stronger you'll be if you fight the urges. You can gain control over things without hurting yourself.By fighting these urges you are taking control and staying strong. Hope i helped a little but im not that good with advice.sorry.Take care of yourself and im here to listen.
speak as though noone's listening....
urges do pass....although it seems like they won't, they will eventually lessen. if you can find some way to distract yourself, or do something nice and relaxing for yourself, take a bubble bath or something. these feelings do subside after awhile...although i'm not sure why they come up seemingly for no reason. i deffinately agree with BrokenGurl. if what you need is control, show control by not giving in. this is something that's worked for me tons of times, and it's probably the best thing for you. take care of yourself, hang in there..pm me if you need someone to talk to
kate
kate
don't go hiding in the shade.
i'm perfecting my emptiness
my place - The Good Side Of Bad <-- all replies welcome
erase me
i'm perfecting my emptiness
my place - The Good Side Of Bad <-- all replies welcome
erase me
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