A coping survey for yourself

[bonita_05]

Name: Ellen
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: yes
If so what is your motivation: stop hurting my friends
Favorite coping skills: 15 minutes, or making goals, just one more day
Coping skills that work the least: self hating, beating myself up, talking
Safe places you can go: nowhere
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): school, flashbacks, dissociations, friends, mean words said by friends/family, self hating thoughts
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: leave the room, groud myself
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): leave the room, ground myself, write a poem
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 3 weeks and 4 days
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): friends, school, flashbacks, dissociations, mean words, self hating thoughts, manicness
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Libby, Ben, Daniel

[madmax454ss]

Name: well, I suppose my name would depend upon who is speaking to me... here I go by Max or Wally

Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: am really trying, have managed to go almost 9 months with only 4 slip ups

If so what is your motivation: my family, plain and simple

Favorite coping skills: REALLY, REALLY, LOUD MUSIC!!! and working out

Coping skills that work the least: drinking (I do it far too often)

Safe places you can go: my wife's arms

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): ANGER, frustration over not being able to accomplish a given task, MY PAST

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: bury myself in my studies

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): don't have one

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: roughly 9 months

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: put the damn blade away

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): seeing others hurt, in pain.

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): by bestest, (she knows who she is), and my wife

[soul sista]

Name: Sarah
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Tryin to not start again.
If so what is your motivation: Rememberin wat i once was
Favorite coping skills: Thinkin about my religion
Coping skills that work the least: bringing back old memories
Safe places you can go: downstairs, cant show them im upset
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): college, work, bf
If at school/work name good coping skills tos use: Stayin public makes it harder to hurt urself
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): dnt have one
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: a while dont keep track only makes things worse.
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): myself in general. my family, college, work, my bf, my mates
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): andy, laura, my bf
_________________

[save_me_from_myself]

Name:
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: had stopped for over 2 weeks till yesterday but yeah i am still trying
If so what is your motivation: ive got holidays to look forwrd to and i dont want 2 have fresh scars
Favorite coping skills: playin drums
Coping skills that work the least: The elastic band thingy, just makes me feel pathetic and want the real thing more.
Safe places you can go: a's house
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): being unable to adentify why im feeling what i am. frustrated with myself?
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Go to the toilet and run cold cold water over your hands so they go all stiff and weird.
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): just walk out
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: hmph could have answerd this question if it wasnt for last nyt
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: thought more learly before i put myself in that ituation. kept my mouth shut
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): detailed discriptions/ images of blood ect.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): a nd a nd mabey m

[dreams]

Name: dreams
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: stop
If so what is your motivation: i don't wanna need a coping mechanism thats unhealthy anymore. I wanna get better
Favorite coping skills: distractions by going for a walk talking to my boyfriend, sex (with my boyfriend)
Coping skills that work the least: trying to sleep - i just go over and over things
Safe places you can go: by boyfriends house
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): uni work, money problems, general insecurities
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: would never cut whilst at uni always wait until i'm at home
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): talk to my boyfriend and go for a walk together
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: nearly 4 months
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): exam results, essay deadlines, computers that break, anything that doesn't go to plan
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): my boyfriend, my bestfriend, my online friends from BUS

dreams

[scarlit_sky]

Name: Emily
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: trying to reduce SI
If so what is your motivation: family and friends
Favorite coping skills: writing poetry and reading
Coping skills that work the least: talking to family
Safe places you can go: church, dr. offices, etc.
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): low self esteem, money problems, past trauma, school
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: go to counceling center and just sit or talk to someone
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): if needed, go IP, if not that bad, then go to church or call friends
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 5 days
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: stayed out of the house longer or found some way to talk about it
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): certain cologne, tickling, my mother, and school in general
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Rachael, Jami, Laura, Erinn

[GLaDOS]

Name: Judit
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: No. It controls me.

Favorite coping skills: Music, InuYasha/Final Fantasy/other Japanese stuff

Coping skills that work the least: Everything else

Safe places you can go: None. If I want to SI, I will.

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Anything that gets me upset. Fights with my Mom, school, the theater people, fights with friends, therapy sessions.

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: None.

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): No such thing. If I want to SI (fortunately, it's not daily) I will. I have no control over it.

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: Currently SI-ing. Already SI-ed today.

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Should have taken more meds 9_9

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Anything that makes me upset. School, exams, my dad, my mom, anything.

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): None IRL. I just come here to BUS.

[Green Beauty]

Name: Alex
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Trying to reduce yes
If so what is your motivation: Realising i dont want people to notice me for my scars, i dont want to hide any longer.
Favorite coping skills: Listening to music
Coping skills that work the least: Most don't tend to work
Safe places you can go: College
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Social issues - freinds, stranger etc.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Go chat to some friends, or go for a walk.
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): If i need to SI i can't tend to stop myself, but just make sure i do it in the safest way possible.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: N/A
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Spoke to someone
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Thoughts of me doing something wrong, people not likeing me etc.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Have 2 friends to call if i needed to. But i can never bring myself to do it, they can do without my problems.

[meg0n]

Name: Megan
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: yes
If so what is your motivation: my happiness
Favorite coping skills: working on my computer
Coping skills that work the least: listening to music
Safe places you can go: work
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): friends
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: play with my babies
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): to distract myself by doing more work
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 7 weeks
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): my anger towards some people
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): dont call friends, well i do have one who i do talk to .
_________________

[Wall]

Name: wall
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: i'm trying to reduce that which induces my desire to si, so in a roundabout way, yes
If so what is your motivation: i need to be a better mother for my children
Favorite coping skills: besides si? sitting in a quiet room relaxing, talking myself down
Coping skills that work the least: asking for what i need
Safe places you can go: under a blanket, to a certain extent the bathroom
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): negative emotions, too high of positive emotions, loud noises, lots of movement, being ignored, hearing other people's problems, people who seem to care but don't, asking for what i need and being told i'm wrong
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: breathing, mild pain to help me focus
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): none
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 3 days
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: i have no idea except to accept the anger and unkindness and to understand that i deserve it
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): feeling unloved, trying my hardest and still being hated, having nowhere to get support, feeling alone and hopeless
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): i have no one

[Sarita]

Name: depends; jo, rachael, jordan
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: reduce for at least a few months
If so what is your motivation: going out to my grandma's house, seeing my family out there that knows nothing about it...
Favorite coping skills: writing on myself with red marker, writing on my pants....
Coping skills that work the least: snapping rubber bands, three minute rule, most everything
Safe places you can go: nowhere is safe
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): i'm not sure the difference between stressors and trigs so look at the trigs
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: i just rake my nails on my arms, it never leaves big marks
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): i don't have one
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: about a two or three weeks...
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): being around people, making up their thoughts, thinking about the past, mostly my mind screwing with me
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): i don't have any.

[demidivine]

Name: demidivine
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: neither, i'm just not thinking about it. or trying not to. i suppose, reduce.
If so what is your motivation: trying to maky my boyfriend happy. not the best reason.
Favorite coping skills: crying, rocking, and if i can, going to sit with someone.
Coping skills that work the least: trying to distract myself with activities, at least when i'm really bad.
Safe places you can go: to kit's room.
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): university - grades, work, not working hard enough. low self-esteem - seeing people, jealousy of success, making comparisons. frustration with myself, physically and mentally.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: trying to concentrate. otherwise, none.
What is your current safety plan (for work/school/general): nothing other than trying to catch it early and distract, or seeing kit.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: for about a month. scary.
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: i can't remember why. i think stress.
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): feeling fat, feeling stupid, feeling lazy, seeing beautiful and successful people (or who i think are... awful, i know), frustration with everything i do.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Kit, Ben, Sarah.

[Koru]

Name: Koru (Cat)
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Stop
If so what is your motivation: Don't want scars, don't want to have to hurt myself to cope
Favorite coping skills: Excersise, drawing, being with people, maaking things.
Coping skills that work the least: Staying in and being 'lazy', thinking about why I'm urging
Safe places you can go: Anywhere public, uni, cafe, gym etc
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Uni - not doing enough, not working hard enough, not being sucessful, dissapointing my supervisor. Relationships - hurting people I care about and who care about me, wanting people who treat me badly. Being lonely - No friends in this town.
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: I'm generally OK at Uni, too public.
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Make sure I excersise at night, don't go home until I'm calm.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: I have never SI'd daily so counting days is pointless for me, if it gets into months I wil consider that worth counting.
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: Don't know
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Self hate - not doing enough, tiredness - can't sleep, Realising J had never wanted more than just sex from me, realising how stupid I have been over him.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): When I'm upset maybe H, maybe E, maybe C, if I'm in real crisis maybe T. Don't tell anyone I've slipped.
_________________

[VowsOfSadness]

This is a new one because I have been trying VERY hard to quit since I last took this survey

Name: Amanda (Vows)
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: STOP (for a very LONG time)
If so what is your motivation: ?Ryan? Him and me are both trying to quit at the same time
Favorite coping skills: Gumband, walking/running, being in public, writing on arm, talking to ryan
Coping skills that work the least: Coloring, *being alone*, wrist-banging
Safe places you can go: Grandmas, Karas, Sarahs, invite Ryan over
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Social Situations, Bill, panic attacks, depression (also other peoples)
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: Gumband, take a "calm down" 5 min on the pass, write on arm, go to BR and wash face, Text ryan, talk to kara
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): Before I do it fill out Kharres questions, talk about it to friends Try at least 3 coping skills dont cut
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: about a week and a half (go me!)
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: I could have not have gotten drunk (2 fridays ago)
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): SI, talking about SI, sex or anthony, guys ect.
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): (for this one order matters)
1.)Kara
2.)Ryan
3.)Bridgett
4.)Sarah

[NobodyToYou]

Name: um...gonna stick with NobodyToYou
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: reduce, stop eventually
If so what is your motivation: hate living this way. Don't like who I have become...
Favorite coping skills: hmm...posting, hot chocolate, distraction...that is about all I have.
Coping skills that work the least: distraction, talking to people (usually upsets me more)
Safe places you can go: bed, public place
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Feeling I am failing. Feeling overwhelmed by responsibility. Having someone angry with me. Things that stir up strong emotions (good or bad). Feeling trapped or like I have no options. Feeling depersonalized (sometimes I like it, though)
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: um...sometimes finding a quiet place to sit for a couple minutes helps...grounding sometimes works...typing everything I think of, but keeping the screen where no one can see it...
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): don't really have one...I have never SIed badly enough to need medical attention, so safety hasn't been a big issue.
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free:
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd:
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): Almost anything could have changed it. Just staying around people...trying to delay until I was so tired I couldn't stay awake anymore...
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): no one knows but my T, and I wouldn't be able to make myself call him for anything less than a SU attempt, so no one.

[kate_]

that's a great survey, really helpful. i'm not gonna take it now, i'll try it one day when i feel more confident about my attempts to fix things

[PassingCloud]

Name: cloudya
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: yeah

If so what is your motivation: no more hiding, ability to do my job without fearing to be kicked out for "psychological incapability"

Favorite coping skills: writing, drawing, listening to music

Coping skills that work the least: expressing anger by throwing things, kicking things or breaking things, going to bed without having worked it out first.

Safe places you can go: can't think of anything real safe. maybe a cafè would work for a little while

Identify stressors (be specific as poss): too little sleep, overwhelming myself with unrealistic goals, difficult friendships - made difficult by my inability to communicate my feelings and worries

If at school/work name good coping skills to use: taking deep breaths, focusing on positive things, talking to random strangers seeing if i can help them out.

What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): wait until the next day, or until my therapy session before i make any rash decisions, focus, concentrate and let go of worries that i can't change atm.

If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: a week

If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: taken a shower, read a book, delayed.

Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): sex, intimacy, letting other people see what's inside, nightmares, when i expect things or things are expected of me that don't conincide with my low self-esteem

Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): i just called N, tried calling A but he's busy. i really can only call N

[theodore]

Name: Theodore
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: kinda yes kinda no
If so what is your motivation: to be 'normal'
Favorite coping skills: listening to music and singing
Coping skills that work the least: talking to friends
Safe places you can go: pub, work i guess
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): work, people in general
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: getting stuck into work
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): ignore myself and carry on as 'normal'
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: 0
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: i could've not taken it to heart
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): sibling
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): online people tend to be better than real life

[balletomane]

Name: on here, b.
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: not actively
If so what is your motivation:
Favorite coping skills: sleeping, some sort of distraction eg making music play lists
Coping skills that work the least: trying to get out of the house
Safe places you can go: none really, my room maybe? that's safe from other people but not from my self
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): homework, friends, guilt, parents, fear/anxiety, thinking about the future, thinking about myself, talking to non-bus people about depression
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: doodling in my notebook?
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general):
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free:
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: gone to sleep
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): lack of sleep, stress, hw, school, college
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): none

[Beasty]

Name: lets go with Noah
Are you currently trying to stop or reduce SI: Yes
If so what is your motivation: Alex
Favorite coping skills: Writing poems
Coping skills that work the least: Snapping a rubber band
Safe places you can go: Outside at night, Alex's arms
Identify stressors (be specific as poss): Chris, my parents, grades, food/eating
If at school/work name good coping skills to use: see Mrs. Eason, writing
What is your current saftey plan (for work/shool/general): School- talk with a friend
If you are not currently SI'ing how long have you been si free: around 25 days
If still SI'ing what could you have done to change the outcome last time you SI'd: cant remember
Identify triggers (be as spec. as poss): being alone, yelled at, its really random
Contact friends (people you may call when you are upset or have a slip, it is good to have more than one): Alex, Ms. Funderburk, Maria