Things I should have said/quoted...

[everythingends666]

Is it just me or does anyone else always think of things they really should have said earlier? What if its something the person needs to hear? How do you tell them without looking like an idiot?

[Forget Me]

i do that all the time. i think of things i should have said or done and can't help but beat myself up about it, and it goes round and raound in my head for so long. grrr. i don't usually end up saying or doing it though. it is usually a "moment" thing. so, i dont really have any advice. sorry.

[Koru]

I go over and over what I want to say to someone when I need to talk to them and then end up forgetting it so I tend to either write e-mails (only if it's not the kind of thing the recipient is likely to circulate!) or letters that I can give to someone (maybe even stay around while they read it or agree to meet again in half an hour) so that I can write out rationally exactly what needed to be said, check it through, think about it, phrase it well and not end up stmbling and saying the wong thing.

Maybe this sort of idea would work for you?

Koru

[superscoob]

I generally write letters if there is no other alternative way of saying something to a person.
There is a particular person who I can't talk to rationally, so if they ask a friend to ask me a question I can't go back and talk to them as my words generally get confused so I find it easier to explain myself in a letter.

[eyeris]

Hey,
It isn't just you, that happens to me all the time. I'm the kind of person that can only really think clearly when I'm on my own, and reflecting on something, and I get all tangled up when I'm actually face to face with anyone and can't think of what needs to be said. Let's see, the way I'd remedy this, without feeling like a dork (I've felt that way too) -- why don't you just call up that person, or the next time you see them, just start off any dialogue with them by saying something like, "Hey, I was thinking about what we were talking about before, you know, about _____ , and I realized that I really need to add something . . . [Add what you needed to say]. So I just wanted to make sure I said that before I forgot." then continue on with whatever other conversation you can have, whether it's about something completely OT or see if the person has anything they want to say . . . but I don't think it'll make you seem like "an idiot" if you just bring it up like that, just as if you forgot to mention it, or just really needed to mention it before the topic was behind you. Anyway, hope that helps a little.
-e

(a letter would work too, whatever you're most comfy with, but in my opinion, a letter makes things more serious and dramatic, if you just need to say it and the be able to move on, I'd just bring it up face to face and move on, and let them reflect on it while you talk about something else, or even after you've each gone off to do something separately)

[VowsOfSadness]

What I often have to do in therapy is we have a phone and when I tell her that I talked to someone and it ended bad (such as we got in a fight) I have to pick up the phone (it's not connected) and show how I would have liked the conversation to go, things I usually say like, "I don't appreicate when I am called 'stupid'" and such. Then we talk about reasons why they didn't go that way. Sometimes I'll even call for real later and just try to say what I origionally wanted.