Things Left Unsaid *LA*

magebaby · Post by **magebaby** » Sun May 08, 2005 11:54 am

deleted

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mage

everythingends666 · Post by **everythingends666** » Sun May 08, 2005 6:43 pm

Caitlin-I think ur a lying, decievng, backstabbing, betraying, manipulative, blackmailing bitch. My friend was so right about you when she said u deserve to get fucked up on something, raped and murdered and now i agree with her. i hope u rot and are tortured in hell. God, y the fuck do i still love u (not like that)?! after all the shit u put me through! and trying to manipulate/blackmail to stop cutting! its none of ur fucking business, im not hurting u, y do u even want me to?! wait i remember, u told me, so i wouldnt talk about it anymore. If the only reason i did it was for attention then i wouldnt obsess about it so much u dumfuck! Ur the one who gave me the need to cut! the least u can do is be there 4 me and help me through it asshole! u have some sick idea of help if u think it means to blackmail a person into something! i cant even believe u had the nerve to tell me u ever tried to help me. I want to fucking die. maybe then u will be happy. U FUCKIN BLACKMAIL PEOPLE WITH FRIENDSHIP!!! its fucking wrong. I want to hate u so badly. im trying to erase u from my memory. maybe i will suceed one day.

You ripped my heart out, you tore my eyes out, now you're gonna pay
I'll stab you one time.
I'll eat your heart out so you feel my pain.
Don't you know that I always see you in all of my dreams?
I wanna kill you. I wanna kill you. Now I'm insane.
-one,eight,seven-senses fail

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Sun May 08, 2005 7:29 pm

please notice me.

acdcrocker1909 · Post by **acdcrocker1909** » Mon May 09, 2005 1:03 am

Brooke - You are the main reason i've made it though this school year, you are amazing and i thank you for that. You are like the older sister i've never had , to me anymore. It hurts when i dont get to talk to you, but i realize that's going to happen since you are graduating. i am going to miss you a hell of a lot, but in due time, it shouldnt hurt as bad. Cause no matter what, this year has taught me so much, and i mean that in all sincere ( we've known i cant spell) ways. Brooke, I love ya okay? I love you like family, i love you like a friend, and i love you like the sibling i never had and never will have. Thanks Brooke, even though you never take compliments well, and you turn red, I mean every word I ever say. You are the person i apologize to the most, cause i screw up , and i know it disappoints you, and i'm always sorry to disappoint you, cause it hurts me to know i hurt you.. i havent cut because i want to stay strong for you cause you put so much faith into me, and that's what i need.. i need to release emotion in healthy manners, and you help so much.. Brooke, you are a giant teddybear to me, and i do love ya.

Tina - you've been helping me alot lately since Brooke's been busy and damnit i thank you.. you're awesome.. and you've helped me alot this year in track to.. i thank you

Jen - Jen, you are a kickass teacher, even though you're always on my case about my swearing. i visit you everyday cause you give me the mixed feeling of both a mother and a friend. and i love you too. i can trust that you wont like, force me to do anything as in like.. visiting freaking guidance for the things i say.. you wont force help onto me.. instead you listen, and give input.. and when i need a hug, you give me one.. thank you..

Prowant - i've never gotten to tell you this and i will soon.. I love you like a brother and father mix, and you are a reason i didnt lose it.. and another thing prowant, i am a SI'er.. i trust telling you this, cause i respect you as my teacher, and i do love you and miss you.. please come back and direct us.. we miss you.. and i need you..

Steph - Love you dearly.. just quit your damn bitching all the time..

Sheila - fuck off.. after the comment you made about melissa and all the ones about comparing Hitler to Jesus, i'm surprised someone hasn't knocked your ass out.

Tate - Man.. i've known you for 6 years, and i love you.

Mum and Pop - I'll never tell you anything, and im so glad you never read the subtle hints and that you still dont.. cause you'd flip the hell out.. i know it.

Puhala - fuck off.. leave.. screw your damn pollen problems, fuck off, dont touch any instruments, dont show up to the concerts, and quit being a biased son of a bitch to the brass not our fault you cant play them worth shit and i'm better than you on trumpet and i'm headed towards 2 years on it come October.. so FUCK OFF

To a few others - fuck off.

and to my fellowband geeks - love you guys

Catylyx · Post by **Catylyx** » Mon May 09, 2005 4:36 am

Mom: why won't you ever help me? why is it that whenever i tried to get help, you only kept up appearences until you dropped it like it never existed? I feel enough like shit for you to treat me like it because you think that those few times i've actually tried for help is all for attention. Is it really for attention when you never see my wrists? when you never see my thighs? You'll never know that the bruises that grace my arms were inflicted by me on purpose and not because of the I.Vs or because i'm a "klutz"...............please believe me. Please stop looking at me like i'm the most disgusting creature to ever walk this earth at those rare moments that you see my scars, or any hints of what i do...i love you mom and i'm sorry....i am so sorry.....

Rick: fucking die.

Sam: i love you........and i'm sorry if i ever make you worry.....and hell i love you...'nuff said.

Rachel: chick i love you. and i'm so glad your getting help, you have no idea how happy that makes me. i only want the best for you, i'd die for you any second of any day.....and you know i'll kill him if he hurts you again, you know it'll happen.

To the band: You guys are awesome...i'm so fucking excited that your going so far...^_^ your gonna rock at the next and the rest of your shows!! i'm proud to be your street team leader and i hope that never ends.

-----

yeah.....i hate this.....

--Sammy

sueslalues · Post by **sueslalues** » Mon May 09, 2005 5:11 am

A, T, & B - Sorry for all the times I whined to you about all the stupid shit in my life. I never meant to get you guys envolved. You just need to forget everything I told you. I just wish you didn't have to know all the horrors I told you about my life.

K - GET OVER YOURSELF! Yeah, you cut yourself once! Then you went whining to your mommy and to the whole school just trying to get attention. SOME OF US ACTUALLY HAVE A PROBLEM! Just because you saw how people were worried about me and cutting myself doesn't mean it is good reason to get attention. That's just stupid. Stop being a gossiper and stop telling people about my messed up life. I want to keep these things a secret but yet you don't understand that. I hate you! You are not my friend, so get over it!

Daddy - Sorry for annoying you when I was a child. I am so sorry to make you want to beat me. I never wanted to make you that depressed. No matter how much you harmed me I still love you. I forgive you for everything you have done to me.

Mommy - I will love you no matter what. And don't ever think for a second that you caused me to cut myself. Even though you don't even know that I do.

kate_ · Post by **kate_** » Mon May 09, 2005 7:52 am

* la *sa

C - i thought you would be there for me. you were my BEST friend. we told eachother everything, things i didn't tell anybody else. we spent every single day together. how the hell can you be mad at me????????

i didn't mean to let him hurt me. I'M SORRY I LET HIM HURT ME. i didn't mean to. if i had known that you would leave me, i wouldn't have let him hurt me. i didn't want him too. i tried to make it stop. it wouldn't stop, i couldn't stop it! i'm sorry that i couldn't stop it, every night i'm too terrified to close my eyes to sleep, i imagine what it would be like if i could have made him stop. THIS IS SO FUCKING HARD ON ME RIGHT NOWWWWWW. how am i supposed to stop blaming myself and 'heal' if my BEST fucking friend blames me too? why did you leave me????? i was SCREAMING for help. i needed help. i still do. but you just turned your back, went on living your life as if you didn't know me. i'm sorry the abuse i suffered was 'too much for you to take'. i shouldn't have told you what was going on. but i just wanted it to stop so bad. i wanted someone to stop it for me!

what could i have done anyways? even when i covered them up you still saw the bruises. fuck. you made my life so much worse. i might have been able to get over everything that happened, but how am i supposed to get over it without you here? you PROMISED you'd be by my side no matter what. and i've always been there for you. i've tried my very best. i can't handle this, i'm gonna break. you were the one that i really trusted to never hurt me, even after he hurt me so badly...i still trusted you. how could you do this? i'm never going to be better. you said that you missed the old kate. well i'm SO fucking sorry that getting beating and raped on a fucking nightly basis, for moooooonths, changed me. i don't know who i am anymore. but i miss the old you too. you used to BE there for me you bitch. you're the most two faced cold hearted person i know.

you used to tell me to get away from him because you didn't want a call in the middle of the night telling you that your friend kate is dead. good news hun, they won't be calling you.

Dungeon_Lilly · Post by **Dungeon_Lilly** » Mon May 09, 2005 12:12 pm

Stop treating me like i'm stupid

BrokenxAngelx · Post by **BrokenxAngelx** » Mon May 09, 2005 5:45 pm

I'm sorry.

GLaDOS · Post by **GLaDOS** » Mon May 09, 2005 10:19 pm

fuck you! if there is something wrong, fucking TELL me! not hide it from me as usual! that upsets me even more!

xanemicroyaltyx · Post by **xanemicroyaltyx** » Mon May 09, 2005 10:28 pm

sydney- i wish you could know what i wanted to say without me having to get the words out.

~Georgie~ · Post by **~Georgie~** » Mon May 09, 2005 10:39 pm

Get out more.

sueslalues · Post by **sueslalues** » Tue May 10, 2005 4:30 am

I am so sorry.

red umbrellas · Post by **red umbrellas** » Tue May 10, 2005 10:27 am

i know it's not intentional...but please understand how fucking fragile i am. not like i can tell you, nor would there be any point. but please understand me.

S: what is it about you that pisses me off so much? i mean, you're a nice person, but for gods sake give me some space...but maybe you shouldnt. i dont know. but i think you're wrong this time.
please leave me alone for a while

A: I'm so sorry i'm not there for you at the moment...don't want to talk to anyone.
don't even want to go on...i'm sorry.

Dungeon_Lilly · Post by **Dungeon_Lilly** » Tue May 10, 2005 12:21 pm

Why wont you talk to me?

Mindpoison · Post by **Mindpoison** » Tue May 10, 2005 8:00 pm

S: I fucking hate you. You manipulated and used me but you don't even care. You don't give a damn about me. You have no idea what kind of hell you put me through and years later I still can't forget.

M: Stop being such a bitch. Seriously. The whole world revolves around you and you can't stand anyone going against your wishes. Don't take your problems out on me.

D: Just back off. It's not going to help me any with you constantly asking me if I'm okay and calling me every ten minutes just to make sure I didn't kill myself.

P: Thanks for being such an incredibly amazing friend to me. I really appreciate everything you've done for me.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Tue May 10, 2005 10:38 pm

you are so annoying sometimes. get yourself an opinion and don't be afraid to defend it. and quit being terminally nice to people. people don't appreciate that type of kindness, they exploit it. you need to stand up for yourself, or people will walk all over you.

ThanksALatte · Post by **ThanksALatte** » Wed May 11, 2005 2:39 am

K--take some initiative. you whine about needing to do something yet are too afraid to do it. going to the registrar's office to sign up for a math class isn't going to hurt you, they're very nice. you're 19, quit wanting people to hold your hand all the time. switching dorms next semester is not going to be a travesty. get out of your comfort zone because it's far too small to be healthy. and when you're pissed off at me, then trying to deny it doesn't work cause you suck at lying. one more thing... sometimes, when i hurt, do you think you could maybe let me know you care? because right now i don't think you do.

Mom--sorry that i didn't fulfill your expectations of a girl. but that doesn't mean you should resent me and treat me like i've been some sort of inconvenience my entire life. i mean, heck, you chose to adopt...so i shouldn't pay the consequence for your decision.

Dad--do you know how much you've hurt me? probably not because from your sermons you sound like the perfect familiy man. But you're not. Don't you know that you should NEVER tell your daughter that she'd be attractive if she only lost a few pounds? Don't you know better than to laugh at someone for having a child-like faith? Don't you know better than to preach about treating people with love and then verbalizing your dislike of a congregation member?

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Wed May 11, 2005 3:55 am

a cry for help doesn't have orange hair and piercings. a cry for help doesn't listen to rap music or break curfew on occasion. a cry for help doesn't flaunt scars and cry in public. not always. no. the real cry for help was not a cry at all, but a whisper. a cry for help pulls away from a hug quickly. a cry for help holds on a moment to long. a cry for help is short. it's tall. blonde haired or brunette. male or female. rich or poor. look at me. this is what a cry for help looks like. i am crying for help.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Wed May 11, 2005 3:56 am

i am really not okay. i am really not okay. I AM NOT FUCKING OKAY.

bus

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