What if my friends are trying to force me to stop?

[everythingends666]

I just started cutting about 6 months ago and i can't even imagine my life with out it. But I have a very good friend and she's telling me that she wont be my friend until I stop. I just don't think it's worth losing a friend over. What can I do/say to her?

thanx,
Jessica

[mallie]

Self Injury can be very difficult to stop. That you're doing it at all indicates some level of distress on your part, and her manipulating/blackmailing you in that way isn't very sensetive to the troubles you're going through.

I guess it depends on why you're SI-ing. Everyone does it for different reasons. People have different levels of IRL support. Some people struggle to give it up for a long time, and others can make the decision and stick to it a lot easier.

Generally, people trying to force someone else to give up does not result in them giving up. Giving up for someone else doesn't usually work, it needs to be for yourself. I know you say you can't imagine being without it, but it is possible. You just have to be ready to really work on it, and learn new coping mechanisms.

Help her to understand WHY you cut yourself, and that rather than blackmail, support would be more useful in helping you. Work out ways in which she can support you, and that you can get support from other places IRL.

Oh, and Welcome to BUS. There is a lot of support here, I hope you find it useful

- Mallie.

[kate_]

i think mallie had great advice.

i'm not sure what else to say...except that i know how damaging si is to every aspect of your life. i lost some really good friends over it when i was crying out for help...they just didn't understand and got scared. it hurts, i would first tell your friend how much they mean to you and that right now you need their support, you don't need extra stress..hope things work out

[everythingends666]

thanx guys for everything, but i just found out that that person was lying and doesnt care whether im bleeding to death or not and she has no sympathy for me and thinks the only reason i cut is for attention and that cutters r stupid and self-injury is gay. so i really hate her right now.
But thank u so much u had some really good advice!

[RG]

Well to try and stop her thinking that SI-ing is for attention maybe show her the secrect shame website http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/injury.html
I know this is rough and maybe in my mind shes trying to shut you out because shes scared of what you do and can't handle it on her own. Also self injury is not gay, it's a form of coping for those who seem to have poor coping strategies. I don't know what else to say but take care and I hope everything turns arround because she should be there for you and not blackmail (because it doesn't work)
Chels

[mallie]

That sounds really hard Jessica. You do not deserve to be treated like that.

Chel's suggestion of educating her a little is a good idea. The website link is a really good one.

Is there anyone else IRL who knows about your SI that can help support you ? Remember that you can always post on here and get support online too.